megpie

Well to update you since my last post...

I took every ones advice and let him be to do his own thing and did my own thing. I did decide to call him the morning of his surgery though because it was a big deal and I wanted him to know I was thinking about him. He told me that morning that he would be coming to visit after his surgery and since he couldn't drive, would I be able to drive him the 10 hours home. I of course said I would.

He came and stayed at his parents for a week. We spent some time together and then I took him home. The trip was nice, we both had a good time. Things have been pretty good since then. Well actually, very good. He called me the other day and said he wanted to come again for Memorial Day. I reminded him of his round trip plane ticket that he has from the last time we were suppose to meet half way. I suggested he use that and I would drive the other half to get him. He said that sounded good, but if it was alright with me he only wanted to use one way of his ticket and could I take him all the way home instead of flying home. I had a really good time the last time so I said I would. Plus I wanted to spend more time with him. I asked a friend why he wouldn't just have me drive him half way and him use the other half of the ticket and fly home. She said he obviously wanted to spend the time with me too. Hmmm. Any thoughts???

He talked baby talk again the other night too Said he thinks he is really going to come back here and be together and start our family. He even wanted to talk to my mom on the phone the other day, but I wouldn't let him.

So I have been wanting to ask him a question for awhile and haven't. I told him today that it was very personal and he still wanted to hear it. He was very sweet about letting me know it was ok to ask and was patient for me to get the nerve up to ask.

So I did. I said. When we have sex, do you feel anything or is it just sex for you?

He replied with... Are you kidding, I feel it just when I kiss you. But you should already know that. ( he has told me before that he feels it when he kisses me ) I guess I just need to know what "it" is.

So then I said - Sometimes it is hard for me to understand, it has been a long time since I have felt this way about someone else.

And he replied. - Don't worry about it now, we'll have fun, enjoy each other and see where it goes. Ok?

So my dilemma is what does that really mean??? I over analyze things WAY too much I know I do, but I can't quit worrying that he might be looking for something more, or something better.

I know since his last visit he has cooled it with other girls, but I also feel that we are a lot closer since our visit than before.

So what should I think?

caterpillar79

Don't hyper-analyze (as if I don't do it myself!). But things would be better if we try our best not to. My BF admitted to me (without me asking) that most men really just have sex for sex just the way it is. But there are some guys who have this intense feeling when they have sex - that's making love. I felt the difference with the love of my life. During our first month together being a couple, we we're making love (as I thought it was - but really, just having sex), then we broke up after a month. Then we re-established communication for another month as friends, only communicating by phone and work emails, not seeing each other at all. After this, we decided to meet each other again, and just enjoy being friends, but boy! The connection was just too powerful to control. We started going out again (still as friends), but when we're off on Christmas break, we decided to spend a week together without sex, and we did. When we broke the abstinence (1 month and a week total including the break), we made love that night, it was very intense, and that's when he told me that he'd never made love like that before. He told me that it really went with his emotions, and I did feel that. It was different. You'd be able to tell when that happens to you, all it takes is a very honest man to admit.

As for you, wait till the fruit ripens on its own or else you'll ruin its flavor. For now, savor each moment with him. Love is risking your heart to be hurt or to be cradled more with love. It's a game of chance, it's a call for trust, honesty and commitment. Give what you've got and not regret later. As for me, I live each day as my last.

megpie

Maybe I said that wrong. He didn't mean he only feels it when he kisses me. He meant all it takes is a kiss. I worded it incorrectly.

CHANDLERS WISH

This is continual problem with women, as caterpillar 79 stated, we / you over annalise things.

And as such, we expect the man to explain and make us feel all better.

He is saying that he has feelings when he kisses you, not sexual rather, feelings...

And, to leave it at that for now and enjoy your relationship and don't worry about the future, what will be will be, let's not annalyse things and worry about things, i like being with you.......

Men are always confusing.

Should see what they think about us!!!!

Worse, haha...

Emotional comes to mind.... as one.

CW

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megpie

I am horrible at posting stuff on here and saying things correctly.

I know what he meant by what he said, but I am struggling to get it into the right words. He does have those feelings for me, so I really am not worried about that. I was just trying to put it in here to give you an idea of how our conversation went and what lead up to his last comment. That is the one I am most concerned with. Just not sure what he meant by it.

The exact words were - Well don't start worrying about it now! We will have fun, enjoy each other and see where it goes. Ok?

So does he mean don't worry about it, right now it is just a bunch of fun and I am really not that serious.

Or

It is too late to worry about it now. I enjoy being with you and looking forward to what the future brings.

Those are the 2 ways I am taking it.

caterpillar79

Meg,
I understand your feelings perfectly - I heard the same exact words months ago from my loving SO. When he (your BF) said, "Well don't start worrying about it now! We will have fun, enjoy each other and see where it goes. Ok?" He likes you, loves you, enjoys being around you and definitely is thinking of being serious with you (that's why he's still in the relationship), but is not there yet. "There", meaning, he is not ready to settle down and marry you just yet. He might be contemplating on the possibility but maybe, he's not emotionally and financially ready yet. And that's just it - don't go beyond that. I myself, if I did that, we might not be together still. My SO told me last Sunday night that I am his first ever serious and long term relationship. And now that he's found me, he's commiting himself to me, for better or for worse, but doesn't necessarily mean, I'll marry you tomorrow. But it is there...the future is being contemplated, but not there yet. We'll have to be patient and wait. I hope I answered your question.

Don't freak out. As you go along, he is exploring his feelings for you that's what he really meant. I think, (based on my SO's explanation), he's trying to tell you that when you're together, you have to enjoy the moment, and not waste your energy on what is to come. He wants to make sure that what he feels for you is not just caused by a bunch of hormones. He wants to love you for real, give it time. I did, and still am. I've always heard him tell me, be patient with me, Hunny-bunny! (Let me take my time,) you'll reap the rewards. So should you, sweetie.

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megpie

Thanks...yes it did answer my question.

I just wonder why guys have to try and keep things so simple that leaves girls constantly wondering. Why can't he just say how he feels. Sometimes he just expects me to know. Kinda like, you should know this because if I didn't care I wouldn't still be giving you my attention.

WildChild

That seems to be pretty much it. Like that old joke that the man tells the woman on their wedding day that he loves her and he'll let her know it that changes. And that's it for the next 50 years, it didn't change so he sees no reason to tell her again.

caterpillar79

Hahaha. you crack me up, WC! Good point though, and realistic in some cases! LOL!

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