Thread: My boyfriends being shady

I'll tell you right now, some guys get the biggest kick imaginable going into strip clubs and rejecting the dancers. It is the only time in the day for most men, in their life for others, that they have beautiful half/full naked women fawning over them.. begging to sit on their lap. To for once be able to go "nah", makes some men feel HUGE.

Pulling out cash and not spending it sounds like he likes to flash the cash, likely so that when he pays for a drink all the dancers see his wad of bills and make him a target of interest .. that the then rejects.

At least that is what it sounds like. A guy having a boys night , rare.. hitting a strip club is nothing I would get loudly upset about - I'd probably fume a little on the inside and get over it. But a weekly , often thing.. oh thats just not something I could see being at all comfortable with. He is looking for something there, attention, an ego boost, feeling like a man... something.. not sure what - but hopefully he figures it out sooner or later and realizes he can get all those feelings and more from you.. and nothing but an empty bed and lubricated palm at the end of the day without you.

Hopeless Dork,

What you have said makes a lot of sense. My boyfriend is the type that thinks every women wants him. So I can really see him going to the strip club just to turn down women, especially when he tells me about it later and laughs. I think he does it for "show" too, like last night we were out with all his guy friends and I swear every other word out his mouth was strip club. It's like he gets a kick out of it when he is around his friends and I get upset.

My intuition says to me that nothings wrong, and usually that is what it says when I'm in these types of situations with him. But I just have the over powering feeling that says ( He's a , lying, cheating bf ). I don't know if its just me looking for it or what. But every time I have thought something was going on I have been wrong (or at least so I think). I really have no proof to accuse him. I don't know maybe next time he goes I'll ask him if he is getting lap dances (which I'm sure he will say no) and then I'll just tell him "because if you were I would not be happy..." ?
I just get ragging mad inside with the thought of him doing that, what do you all think? Is it borderline cheating?

I think the fact that you are both tight on money and he's spending it at the strip club should be your first concern. Second, he knows it bugs you, you've said how you feel and there's not compromise or effort on his part to stop doing something that really bothers you. Third, he goes out of his way in front of others to rub it in your face simply to make you mad and hurt your feelings. So cheating or not, you have other issues in this relationship.

You've got to have a serious talk about this issue. Don't go on with this burden in your heart - you'll burn out. He might not be cheating, but SP has a point, there is a problem in your relationship. He already knows it bothers you, if he cares enough, there should be compromise. This is not only about him, but BOTH of YOU. Don't be blinded by your strong feelings for him. Love yourself more.

I think lap dances are cheating... just because the chick hopping up and down on their lap grinding on their package, pressing their breasts against their face, and their crotch and everything else is a "PROFESSIONAL" and getting paid, that doesn't make it all right.

If a guy did all those things with just some random girl outside of a strip club, it would be cheating no question, so why some would think because he slipped her a 20 its all of a sudden within bounds of fidelity.

Sitting at a distance and watching the ladies dance, no different than internet porn really or anything else I guess, so if your okay with one I guess the other is not real different as far as cheating goes.