akira_san

Yes, I'm guilty of snooping. I deserve this pain. This is how my story goes. My boyfriend had obsessed about this girl before we met. How did I know, he told me his life story. It didn't bother me then, I am confident - I am his present.

Later today though, I had nothing to do, saw his phone lying at the counter top, I was enticed to look, and I saw a couple of text messages from him to this girl, and some of her replies. By the way, she has a bf. What I am bothered about is the fact that "he wants to keep the communication" with her. He even texted her his new work email. I have this gut feeling that he's not over (obsessing) her yet. They never were a couple. She had turned him down and even stopped communicating with him.

He appears to be happy with me. He is very attentive of my needs, very caring, loving, supportive and understanding. But this really bothers every inch of me. I mean, i love him so much, but I think I can't manage having to compete with his obsession for her.

Why does my BF want to stay in touch with her? I don't understand.

CHANDLERS WISH

Well, firstly seeing as you snooped, what was the context of those messages, seems to me they weren't flirty, persay, because you would have stated what type of conversation was had.

Certainly, he may be carrying a bit of a crush for her, especially if they didn't get together.

I am thinking that you two haven't really been together that long, like not 6 months or just 6 months, not much over that?

Things take time if "your the one",

We really need to enter into relationships without expectations until we really know both of us ( you ) that neither could actually want to be with anyone else, and that kind of click just happens in every way.

You have to understand that if you two work out you do, if you don't it wasn't meant to be.

But, staying friends is fine, especially seeing as he hasn't slept with her, it's not an ex-girlfriend.

Maybe he gets on really well with her, her him, but that side of the relationship was never meant to happen.

CW

__________________
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told

Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!

Register! | Rules/FAQ | Contact Mod

happy ending

i wouldnt really like it either, however, i think it will burn it self out in time and honey she is fantasy you on the other hand are reality. the fantasy will fade out eventually and your relationship if it is meant to be will go from strength to strength. think of it like this, you may love and desire your boyfriend but have occasional fantasies about say johny depp (well i do LOL!!) take care and mostly dont take it too seriously!

chica

I would say leave it alone and stop snooping.

Take it from my experience, I caught my ex in a lie, after I snooped. Confronted him, and it just went down hill from there. I never fully trsuted him anyways. I also didnt stop snooping. Eventually I turned myself into this ugly person, who I didnt like at all. I was unhappy in my last relationship.

My current boyfriend, we have had our problems, but I feel like myself when I am with him. I am so in love with him

chica

Oh and I forgot to add, if he is going to cheat there is nothing you can do. What is meant to happen will happen. Learned that the hard way as well.

This is kind of an old trick I used to use with my ex. I snooped one day, and found he was speaking with an ex I didnt like. So I waited about a week, and said "honey, my ex so and so called, wanted us to hang out" How would that make you feel? Well the ex never called, but it opened up a conversation of what we were comfortable with. But here is the kicker, you shouldnt have to have the conversations. If its innocent talk, let it go and move on. If you have failt in your boyfriend, and faith in your relationship then you should be fine. Just tell your current boyfriend, how you feel. But if you do come clean about snooping, then it could cause a big rift between the two of you. It could also cause you to break up. Just think about it, if you choose to speak with him on this matter. And also STOP SNOOPING!!!

Also just trust your boyfriend. If he has treated you better than any other guy you have dated, chances are he isnt going to hurt you. And some guys like to revisit the past, to get a so called "Ego lift" not that you dont do it for them, but most guys want to feel wanted from other women. LOL crazy as it sounds its true, at least with a few of my brothers.

Anyways I hope everything works out for you.

Joy

so this girl rejected him... well that would explain the obsession. Guys really hate that it hurts their egos. Some guys can't let go of their past and have to hang on cause they are stuck in a rut. You are the present and if this problem persists with this 3rd party person... then the talk you want to have with your bf is she is the past you are the present and could be his future if he doens't blow it.