Help me get a clearer view!

**caterpillar79** · 05-19-2009, 07:35 PM

I am sooo confused! My principal changed my teaching load to Language Arts...means I will get to attend trainings with my ex... I dread this ordeal. Meanwhile, my bf is 5 hours away, have been driving back and forth during weekends to be with me, and is asking his co-worker whose wife is a teacher in that city if there is a vacancy (and there is). It seems to me like my boyfriend has been doing his part, and I am compelled to do mine. But I am 90-10 (90% wanting to move to where he is). We talked a little bit, I was emotional so I backed off, and I really could put in words how I feel when its time for me to share it to him.

I am afraid to move so close I might smother him. I am scared to move because things might go wrong. I know what I want, that is to be closer to him, and he told me that's what he wanted, too, but I don't want uncertainties.

Why do I feel like having this line of thinking: "I will move if he's asking me to marry him", yet, I am not ready for it either? This is dreadful... I want to stop breathing! Help!

**amaranthine** · 05-19-2009, 08:29 PM

Chill!

Moving is a big step in anyone's life, but it won't be the end of the world.
Go with the flow. If your relationship is going well so far, why not try to make it better?

If you find that you do this and it doesn't work out later on, you'll be in pretty much the same spot you are now with your current ex.
Teachers are needed pretty much everywhere. You'll be able to find work and move again if you really, really need to.

Talk about it with your boyfriend, the pros and and cons, what both of you are planning on for the possible future.. blah blah blah... and then either do it or don't.

I'm going to assume you're a younger teacher, but correct me if I'm wrong?
You've got time to figure this out. Just breath.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-19-2009, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amaranthine

Chill!

Moving is a big step in anyone's life, but it won't be the end of the world.
Go with the flow. If your relationship is going well so far, why not try to make it better?

If you find that you do this and it doesn't work out later on, you'll be in pretty much the same spot you are now with your current ex.
Teachers are needed pretty much everywhere. You'll be able to find work and move again if you really, really need to.

Talk about it with your boyfriend, the pros and and cons, what both of you are planning on for the possible future.. blah blah blah... and then either do it or don't.

I'm going to assume you're a younger teacher, but correct me if I'm wrong?
You've got time to figure this out. Just breath.

Well said..

The only thing I can add is "don't think of it like marriage", it's just another step in your life in the right direction as to where you are "currently" in your life, with someone you love being with.

What will be will be.

CW

**M&Ms** · 05-20-2009, 02:19 PM

It sounds like your natural 'need for security' instinct is kicking in. You like the idea of moving close to him, but you need some sort of commitment out of him. I'm essentially repeating previous posts, but make a pros and cons list (by yourself). Sounds unnecessary, but every time I've resorted to making a list, it puts things into perspective.

**caterpillar79** · 05-20-2009, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M&Ms

It sounds like your natural 'need for security' instinct is kicking in. You like the idea of moving close to him, but you need some sort of commitment out of him. I'm essentially repeating previous posts, but make a pros and cons list (by yourself). Sounds unnecessary, but every time I've resorted to making a list, it puts things into perspective.

I say, I'll make one, and maybe this will also spark a talking point between us. I have aired part of how I feel to him, but I am a bit shy to really pour out everything (cultural barrier: he's American, I'm Asian).

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-20-2009, 05:05 PM

Pfttt.... Mines' American and I'm Australian, "people" come together, Nationalities are not an issue (unless they make it one)...

Repeat: From another message :-

"A man whom wants to have a committment, understanding what a Woman is, how she thinks, how she ticks, understands communication and wants to learn more is worth is weight in gold because most men don't get it, until the grow up and when does a man grow up? lol...

CW

**caterpillar79** · 05-20-2009, 05:10 PM

hahaha...i should ask him to spend some vacation in Australia and track you down...lol! (I'm not a snoop...well not this way!).

thanks so much CW, and everyone...my eyes are seeing some light.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-28-2009, 02:15 AM

So my love, did you air your laundry? I mean discussions?

CW

**caterpillar79** · 05-28-2009, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

So my love, did you air your laundry? I mean discussions?

CW

Yes...I TACTFULLY aired it out. And we settled to getting employed down there, if not, I am still pursuing on getting a (teaching) license equivalency on that state, so I can move anytime, anywhere closer. If all else fails... (he joked about marriage twice, which gave me butterflies in my tummy!). Regarding my principal, I will toughen it up, I know I can. I'll play cute the best I can! LOL!

Last weekend, I drove up to his place and he was delighted. We rode out tandem bike and enjoyed all day...(and all night! LOL!). He wants me all around him I figured.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-28-2009, 05:40 PM

Smart move

Quote:

I am still pursuing on getting a (teaching) license equivalency on that state, so I can move anytime, anywhere closer. If

Quote:

He wants me all around him I figured.

lol... That's fantastic, I have this feeling it is all going to go to plan...

Enjoy those butterflys~!

CW

05-19-2009, 07:35 PM	#1
caterpillar79 WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: MidWest, USA Posts: 2,826 Blog Entries: 59	Help me get a clearer view! I am sooo confused! My principal changed my teaching load to Language Arts...means I will get to attend trainings with my ex... I dread this ordeal. Meanwhile, my bf is 5 hours away, have been driving back and forth during weekends to be with me, and is asking his co-worker whose wife is a teacher in that city if there is a vacancy (and there is). It seems to me like my boyfriend has been doing his part, and I am compelled to do mine. But I am 90-10 (90% wanting to move to where he is). We talked a little bit, I was emotional so I backed off, and I really could put in words how I feel when its time for me to share it to him. I am afraid to move so close I might smother him. I am scared to move because things might go wrong. I know what I want, that is to be closer to him, and he told me that's what he wanted, too, but I don't want uncertainties. Why do I feel like having this line of thinking: "I will move if he's asking me to marry him", yet, I am not ready for it either? This is dreadful... I want to stop breathing! Help! __________________ Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \|Contact Mod\| Contact Admin

05-19-2009, 08:29 PM	#2
amaranthine Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 137	Chill! Moving is a big step in anyone's life, but it won't be the end of the world. Go with the flow. If your relationship is going well so far, why not try to make it better? If you find that you do this and it doesn't work out later on, you'll be in pretty much the same spot you are now with your current ex. Teachers are needed pretty much everywhere. You'll be able to find work and move again if you really, really need to. Talk about it with your boyfriend, the pros and and cons, what both of you are planning on for the possible future.. blah blah blah... and then either do it or don't. I'm going to assume you're a younger teacher, but correct me if I'm wrong? You've got time to figure this out. Just breath. __________________

05-20-2009, 05:05 PM	#6
CHANDLERS WISH WH Head Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 12,644 Blog Entries: 8	Pfttt.... Mines' American and I'm Australian, "people" come together, Nationalities are not an issue (unless they make it one)... Repeat: From another message :- "A man whom wants to have a committment, understanding what a Woman is, how she thinks, how she ticks, understands communication and wants to learn more is worth is weight in gold because most men don't get it, until the grow up and when does a man grow up? lol... CW __________________ Women are Angels And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly.........on a broomstick... We are flexible like that .... White Witch. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

05-20-2009, 05:10 PM	#7
caterpillar79 WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: MidWest, USA Posts: 2,826 Blog Entries: 59	hahaha...i should ask him to spend some vacation in Australia and track you down...lol! (I'm not a snoop...well not this way!). thanks so much CW, and everyone...my eyes are seeing some light. __________________ Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \|Contact Mod\| Contact Admin

05-28-2009, 02:15 AM	#8
CHANDLERS WISH WH Head Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 12,644 Blog Entries: 8	So my love, did you air your laundry? I mean discussions? CW __________________ Women are Angels And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly.........on a broomstick... We are flexible like that .... White Witch. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

05-20-2009, 02:19 PM	#4
M&Ms VIP Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 35	It sounds like your natural 'need for security' instinct is kicking in. You like the idea of moving close to him, but you need some sort of commitment out of him. I'm essentially repeating previous posts, but make a pros and cons list (by yourself). Sounds unnecessary, but every time I've resorted to making a list, it puts things into perspective.

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