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Thread: Why not say No?

  1. #11
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+)APRIL 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH ItsASecret is on a distinguished road ItsASecret's Avatar
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    Amongst all this he has told me that recently he has been willing to not go out at all if I told him not to. He tells me that he wouldn't be the happiest but he would tell them "not tonight" if I said no. I have never said "no you cannot go" though, I don't want to be keeping him on a leash. Its hard to explain. So maybe I am just overreacting, I will still give it time...as long as he tells me what he is doing I react better. If he does something and doesn't tell me and I end up finding out through his friends (I am actually good friends with one of them), I will be mad. That has not happened, and I hope never will.

    The guy I prefer is the honest one, if he came to me tomorrow and said "hun I think I prefer the party scene now" I would at least be happy that he was being honest.
    There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

  2. #12
    WH Super Moderator caterpillar79 is on a distinguished road caterpillar79's Avatar
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    You are still both young (especially you). Him, he's old (age-wise), but lacks the maturity, as most men do (biased as I am...my apologies, dear sirs!).

    Let him enjoy his time alone. You are right about not putting him on leash, he'll resent it later, believe me. He's a bachelor, though he has you as his GF, he still has a life, and so do YOU. Get a life, too. Don't rely on him solely for your happiness.

    Sit him down, and talk. Draw boundaries and rules that both will abide in the playing field. Tell him how you feel, and ask him about his feelings/ opinion in relation to yours. Lay things out: focus in building a relationship based in love and trust. Open communication is the way to go.
    What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy

    The clearest explanation for failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. - Anna Quindlen

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