Grimlin

We've been dating for a year and a half. During this time, he's introduced me to all his friends. Recently, I've gained weight and he got a new job at a movie theatre. He introduced me to all his new work friends, but when they all get together to go out, usually to watch a movie, he doesn't show an interest in me going with. No one else has a bf/gf, so it's not a "co-workers only" thing. If it's a movie he wants to see, but no one else does, he makes me go with.

I just feel like if he actually wanted me around, he'd make an effort.

dr.mansview

tell him you feel left out..next time they are going out together tell your bf to say "i was going to do something with grimlin tonite..anyone mind if she comes along"..i doubt anyone will say no..since they have already met you, it shouldn't be to awkward..once they get to know you, they'll love you..good luck

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CHANDLERS WISH

Bit confused there, are you saying that they "do" have bf/gf and they go as well?

You say you've gained a little weight, maybe your feeling a tad in-secure at the moment.

You say that he introduced you to the old collegues and the new collegues, so it seems that he's including you.

Maybe, he thinks you wouldn't be interested in going to those movies? Or maybe he's having "guys" time out...

Does he treat you well in all other aspects, include you in all other ways?

CW

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M&Ms

As Dr. Mansview said, confront him about it. If he won't fess up (excluding the random, obvious excuses--"I didn't think you wanted to come along", etc) then you can start considering the more difficult possiblities: maybe he is embarrassed, maybe he's interested in a co-worker, etc. However, bringing it up will probably make him realize you haven't felt included and he should invite you more often.

Grimlin

I was wrong, they do have bf/gfs/husbands/wives, but it's still not a co-worker only thing.
I am insecure, and he knows this.
I know his friends from before we met, and all friends he's made through the jobs hes had during our relationship.
It's not a guy only thing either because female co-workers go too.
He includes me, if no one else is there.

I have confronted him about it, and he says he'll try to include me.
I know he's not interested in anyone else at work. All the single ladies are too young.

CHANDLERS WISH

Well if he is going to these shows with co-workers and / or their partners and not including you, and will only "try" to, tell him to try another girlfriend, that's not on..

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if truth were to be told

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you must believe!

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Hopeless Dork

Grimlin, I don't think he is embarassed of you or else he would have never introduced you to them in the first place.

How often does he do this going out with the co-worker thing and how does he treat on the days he doesn't? Do you guys do other things together?

Did he do things like this before you put on the weight or is it a new behavior? Maybe you are perceiving him to be embarassed because you're not happy with yourself right now. I know for me, I project how I feel about myself on to my boyfriend. When truth is I think he see's me in a whole lot more flattering light than I see myself in.

When I feel down about something I assume he must think bad of me about it too. And then I can look for things and reasons to back up those insecure , self-doubts in an effort to confirm them.

You have to do one of two things, either start working on getting yourself in the shape that makes you happiest with you - or embrace the shape you are and see yourself as beautiful. Either way you have to start feeling better about yourself.

If its only a rare thing with the co-workers I wouldnt worry about it, it may be his lil time out time and thats okay for both parties in a relationship, as long as he is open to you joining him if you wanted to.

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Grimlin

They never have a set date to hang out. It's when agood movie comes out. First it was Terminator: Salvation then the Hangovers. We rarely do things together anymore. He either has school or work at nights, so it's hard to find a date night. Plus money's tight, so it's usually a movie anyway, which I don't mind, just saying.

Grimlin

Stupid enter button...

And, I know he wishes I would lose weight. He's said so many times. I am trying to, for myself, but it's not an overnight thing.

Hopeless Dork

If he is just saying "hey you should lose weight" and not trying to support you in doing so... it sound like kind of a jerk thing to say. He could say why don't we both try eating a little healthier, or lets go to the gym together or lets take walks after work we will both feel better. But if he is just saying 'hey you should lose weight'.... that can't be helping you to feel good about him or yourself right now.

I told my boyfriend I have some stuff I want to work harder on with my body and he said "go to the gym with me we can keep each other motiviated". Not "yeah.. you should fix those things" which would have made me feel like .

What is he doing right now that makes you happy grimlin, does he bring any rays of sunshine into your life at all?

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Defintion of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein