I emigrated for my boyfriend, now he doesn't love me anymore

lilpinkprincess · 07-30-2009, 06:57 PM

This is my first post here, I just feel so isolated at the moment, any help anyone can give me is greatly appreciated.

I met my boyfriend and fell in love with him in the UK. He was lovely to me then and told he loved me too. He's Australian and when he lost his job in the UK, we decided to come to Australia. He went first and I stayed behind to work my notice in my job and followed him out 6 weeks later.

As soon as I got here he told me he'd changed his mind about me. I gave up my friends, my family and my career. I sold most of my stuff. I wasn't even over my jet lag and he was just so cruel to me.

Now, 10 weeks later, we are still living together in Australia. I have nowhere else to go, I don't know anyone out here. It still hasn't sunk in that he could be this cruel to me, and the worst part is, I still love him.

Everytime my mum phones I have to pretend everything is ok, she's even asked me if he plans to marry me. I just don't know what to do.

**miss.sin.t.uh** · 07-30-2009, 11:33 PM

this sounds so awful
well, im sure you already know what to do.
A.) go back to the UK
B.) stay in australia and get on your feet and move out, leave him
C.) stick around, let him continue to treat you like this, and only hurt yourself even more.

all of them are easier said than done but thats what it comes down to.

**happy ending** · 07-31-2009, 01:09 AM

thats absolutely terrible, do you have a job, what a mean nasty trick to pull, honey i have no real advice except maybe to come clean with your mum, where are you?

lilpinkprincess · 07-31-2009, 02:20 AM

I have just been offered a job here. I'm in Sydney. I'm just so hurt and confused that he could do this to me. I had a great career in London, great friends and family and a social life. I gave all that up for him and he repaid me by hurting me like this. When I tried talking to him about it this morning he said 'how do you think I feel? I'm sharing my life with someone I don't love'

I just don't understand how anyone could be so cruel

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-31-2009, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilpinkprincess

I have just been offered a job here. I'm in Sydney. I'm just so hurt and confused that he could do this to me. I had a great career in London, great friends and family and a social life. I gave all that up for him and he repaid me by hurting me like this. When I tried talking to him about it this morning he said 'how do you think I feel? I'm sharing my life with someone I don't love'

I just don't understand how anyone could be so cruel

It's more than cruel it's straight out discusting, he knew that he wasn't totally in love with you before you got on that plane, you can't change your mind in 1 day, 1 week, he could have stopped you at any time, he's selfish.

And, his words " how do you think I feel, I'm sharing my life with someone I don't love" you need to tell him to get a life....

He should have given you money to get back to the UK to your family.

How old are you can I ask? And, what work did you do, can you afford to get back home?

CW

lilpinkprincess · 07-31-2009, 02:44 AM

I'm 27 and he's 34. I was a dental hygienist in the Uk, now I'm working as a dental assistant because I have to sit an exam here to prove my skills before I can work as a hygienist. I knew that before I left the Uk but I was prepared to take a step down in my career because I thought I'd be with the man I love and soon get on my feet and pass my exam.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-31-2009, 02:51 AM

I know your hurting at the moment....

Us Australians are okay you know.. If I lived in Sydney I would let you stay with me until you worked all this out, not to say you can't come to SA... but that's not going to solve things in the long run.

Is he having to pay for food and everything whilst your hear? I hope so....

I know you've accepted a job and I know that you feel that you can't tell your family and go back because you will feel like you failed.

Let me tell you, I almost moved to America but we were Adult enough to work out that we ran out of conversations after I came back and it wouldn't work, and he was right at least he didn't waste $3k of my money to go back even though I know I am right lol, that if he did he would be in love with me... shirt happens... You have to move on...

I TOLD my parents... and you know what they said? Well there is someone out there for you don't worry....

You need them at the moment don't feel you failed tell it how it is, it's not working he's different on his home turf, you want to come home and you owe no one else any more explanation than that.

So can you afford to go back? Can you email your old job or research on line for other jobs available ...

CW

**happy ending** · 07-31-2009, 09:00 PM

he is an absolute jerk, that is the downside, however sydney is lovely, you have a job, you will make friends, could you look on this as a working holiday for a time and start organising your return to the uk? your friends, family etc will still be there when you return and you will be able to find another job. things havent worked out as planned but a smart girl like you can still get some benefits out of it. let down in love, stranded on the other side of the world, forced to do a less trained job, if nothing else its a great opportunity for personal growth. if you can survive this anything else will be a breeze!

07-30-2009, 06:57 PM	#1
lilpinkprincess Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3	I emigrated for my boyfriend, now he doesn't love me anymore This is my first post here, I just feel so isolated at the moment, any help anyone can give me is greatly appreciated. I met my boyfriend and fell in love with him in the UK. He was lovely to me then and told he loved me too. He's Australian and when he lost his job in the UK, we decided to come to Australia. He went first and I stayed behind to work my notice in my job and followed him out 6 weeks later. As soon as I got here he told me he'd changed his mind about me. I gave up my friends, my family and my career. I sold most of my stuff. I wasn't even over my jet lag and he was just so cruel to me. Now, 10 weeks later, we are still living together in Australia. I have nowhere else to go, I don't know anyone out here. It still hasn't sunk in that he could be this cruel to me, and the worst part is, I still love him. Everytime my mum phones I have to pretend everything is ok, she's even asked me if he plans to marry me. I just don't know what to do.

07-31-2009, 02:51 AM	#7
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,930 Blog Entries: 7	I know your hurting at the moment.... Us Australians are okay you know.. If I lived in Sydney I would let you stay with me until you worked all this out, not to say you can't come to SA... but that's not going to solve things in the long run. Is he having to pay for food and everything whilst your hear? I hope so.... I know you've accepted a job and I know that you feel that you can't tell your family and go back because you will feel like you failed. Let me tell you, I almost moved to America but we were Adult enough to work out that we ran out of conversations after I came back and it wouldn't work, and he was right at least he didn't waste $3k of my money to go back even though I know I am right lol, that if he did he would be in love with me... shirt happens... You have to move on... I TOLD my parents... and you know what they said? Well there is someone out there for you don't worry.... You need them at the moment don't feel you failed tell it how it is, it's not working he's different on his home turf, you want to come home and you owe no one else any more explanation than that. So can you afford to go back? Can you email your old job or research on line for other jobs available ... CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

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07-30-2009, 11:33 PM	#2
miss.sin.t.uh VIP Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 50	this sounds so awful well, im sure you already know what to do. A.) go back to the UK B.) stay in australia and get on your feet and move out, leave him C.) stick around, let him continue to treat you like this, and only hurt yourself even more. all of them are easier said than done but thats what it comes down to.

07-31-2009, 01:09 AM	#3
happy ending Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: western australia Posts: 655	thats absolutely terrible, do you have a job, what a mean nasty trick to pull, honey i have no real advice except maybe to come clean with your mum, where are you?

07-31-2009, 02:20 AM	#4
lilpinkprincess Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3	I have just been offered a job here. I'm in Sydney. I'm just so hurt and confused that he could do this to me. I had a great career in London, great friends and family and a social life. I gave all that up for him and he repaid me by hurting me like this. When I tried talking to him about it this morning he said 'how do you think I feel? I'm sharing my life with someone I don't love' I just don't understand how anyone could be so cruel

07-31-2009, 02:44 AM	#6
lilpinkprincess Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3	I'm 27 and he's 34. I was a dental hygienist in the Uk, now I'm working as a dental assistant because I have to sit an exam here to prove my skills before I can work as a hygienist. I knew that before I left the Uk but I was prepared to take a step down in my career because I thought I'd be with the man I love and soon get on my feet and pass my exam.

07-31-2009, 09:00 PM	#8
happy ending Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: western australia Posts: 655	he is an absolute jerk, that is the downside, however sydney is lovely, you have a job, you will make friends, could you look on this as a working holiday for a time and start organising your return to the uk? your friends, family etc will still be there when you return and you will be able to find another job. things havent worked out as planned but a smart girl like you can still get some benefits out of it. let down in love, stranded on the other side of the world, forced to do a less trained job, if nothing else its a great opportunity for personal growth. if you can survive this anything else will be a breeze!