May I ask for some assistance please. I need advice.

Tara_tiara · 07-30-2009, 11:54 PM

May I ask for some assistance please.
Hi I am 17 years old and I have never been on a real date. My question is, is there something wrong with me? I don't think I am unattractive. I am funny, happy, polite and intelligent in fact. But I am always the best friend to guys and not the girl friend.I don't think I have terribly high standards for a guy either. I just want a man who does not smoke, drink, chew Tobacco (iwwwwww), or do drugs. Is that really too much to ask for? I could care less about what a guy looks like. I just loo for whats in their heart. I really am worried that I am going to become the crazy old cat lady when I grow up. Are there any ways to attract good men?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-31-2009, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tara_tiara

May I ask for some assistance please.
Hi I am 17 years old and I have never been on a real date. My question is, is there something wrong with me? I don't think I am unattractive. I am funny, happy, polite and intelligent in fact. But I am always the best friend to guys and not the girl friend.I don't think I have terribly high standards for a guy either. I just want a man who does not smoke, drink, chew Tobacco (iwwwwww), or do drugs. Is that really too much to ask for? I could care less about what a guy looks like. I just loo for whats in their heart. I really am worried that I am going to become the crazy old cat lady when I grow up. Are there any ways to attract good men?

Chew tobacco, OMG there's a memory....

You are probably acting as a "mate" with all and so they see you as a friend and nothing more.

You may not be "girly", "flirty" with anyone that you actually do like, giving them hints, wearing "not provogative" clothing but nice, interesting clothing that is attractive, jeans and a nice top, hair always done nice a bit of gloss... girly.

And, yep, in today's age we can use eye contact and let them know we are interested....

I deleted your other thread because it was the same...

Tell us a bit more about your approach or non - approach, have you had your eye on anyone, did you show you liked them?

CW

tjsauntie · 07-31-2009, 12:09 AM

Mami I don't think you need any help answering this question. Just be yourself, if you're old fashion like I am a man will come to you and appreciate you for who you are. There are no ways to attract a good man those words are so cliche a good man should be your definition of what you want and whats good for you. BESIDES you're young you have plenty of time to date and find whats right for you. Hope I helped

Tara_tiara · 07-31-2009, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Tell us a bit more about your approach or non - approach, have you had your eye on anyone, did you show you liked them?

Yes actually there is this one guy at my church who is 18 he is really tall and cute. But, he is also very shy. We talk to each other every day and he is a complete gentleman. I just don't now if he is attracted to me or how to get him to think of me as more than a friend. I mean one time one of his friends insulted me in front of him and he totally stood up for me and a day later I received a formal letter of him apologizing for the way his friend acted.I really like and trust this guy. I just don't know if he feels the same way about me as I do him.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-31-2009, 12:26 AM

Ahaha...

Actually, I have read this before here twice I think..

The advice given mainly was to just approach it as "friends" first, and don't be shy but to basically say after Church, I feel like a soda, want to join me?

Okay, he may say no and if he does, it could be because he has to go somewhere else but it's a leading question without saying you like him...

It allows him to say "another time, or sure," and you can get to know him and see if there is any body language..

Boys that are shy have a hard time asking a girl out..

Seems he is of good morals and to write a letter to you as well, seems he cares.

Give it a go, you've got nothing to lose....

CW

Tara_tiara · 07-31-2009, 12:27 AM

Thanks!

**miss.sin.t.uh** · 07-31-2009, 01:12 AM

Luckily for you 17 year old boys are simple. I was there just 2 years ago.
first is he single? if so, im sure he wouldn't mind having a girlfriend.
he is looking for someone attractive, and no this does not mean you have to show him everything you got, but get pretty.
second, yes maybe he wants someone he can get along with, but if your too cool with him, then he'll only see you as a friend.
be flirty,

give him hints that you can be more than friends.
do you know how to flirt?
ok furthermore, you know him better than we do, what type of things is he into? what type of girl? and what kind of things does he do?
im not saying you shouldnt be yourself to try to get him
but try to find something in common

**happy ending** · 07-31-2009, 01:29 AM

tara tiara that boy sounds so nice, to stand up for you against his friend to send you a letter, what an absolute gem. i would also go so far as to say he does like you, and the soda suggestion is a good one. by the way 17 is not old, my stepdaughter is 6ft tall, and was too tall for the boys when she was younger. finally when she was 19 they caught up - please tell us how it goes.

**rcoreyus** · 07-31-2009, 05:25 PM

I remember being a shy teenage boy. I would have loved it if some girl had started to talk to me or expressed interest in me. I was just too shy to make any advances myself.

I suggest you do as CW suggested - find some reason to go somewhere with him.

**WildChild** · 07-31-2009, 06:04 PM

Something to keep in mind, as a teen not one boy from my HS ever asked my out. I was pretty but thought it was because I had been raped, that I was was sort of tainted. What I learned talking with a guy freind when working on our HS reunion, very few people knew about the rape and they boys regarded me as too pretty and too smart - they figured I wouldn't ever go out with them. Of course, I didn't because they didn't ever ask!

You may have to take some inititive and do as CW suggested.

07-30-2009, 11:54 PM	#1
Tara_tiara Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 18	May I ask for some assistance please. I need advice. May I ask for some assistance please. Hi I am 17 years old and I have never been on a real date. My question is, is there something wrong with me? I don't think I am unattractive. I am funny, happy, polite and intelligent in fact. But I am always the best friend to guys and not the girl friend.I don't think I have terribly high standards for a guy either. I just want a man who does not smoke, drink, chew Tobacco (iwwwwww), or do drugs. Is that really too much to ask for? I could care less about what a guy looks like. I just loo for whats in their heart. I really am worried that I am going to become the crazy old cat lady when I grow up. Are there any ways to attract good men?

07-31-2009, 12:26 AM	#5
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,923 Blog Entries: 7	Ahaha... Actually, I have read this before here twice I think.. The advice given mainly was to just approach it as "friends" first, and don't be shy but to basically say after Church, I feel like a soda, want to join me? Okay, he may say no and if he does, it could be because he has to go somewhere else but it's a leading question without saying you like him... It allows him to say "another time, or sure," and you can get to know him and see if there is any body language.. Boys that are shy have a hard time asking a girl out.. Seems he is of good morals and to write a letter to you as well, seems he cares. Give it a go, you've got nothing to lose.... CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

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07-31-2009, 12:09 AM	#3
tjsauntie Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 4	Mami I don't think you need any help answering this question. Just be yourself, if you're old fashion like I am a man will come to you and appreciate you for who you are. There are no ways to attract a good man those words are so cliche a good man should be your definition of what you want and whats good for you. BESIDES you're young you have plenty of time to date and find whats right for you. Hope I helped

07-31-2009, 12:27 AM	#6
Tara_tiara Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 18	Thanks!

07-31-2009, 01:12 AM	#7
miss.sin.t.uh VIP Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 50	Luckily for you 17 year old boys are simple. I was there just 2 years ago. first is he single? if so, im sure he wouldn't mind having a girlfriend. he is looking for someone attractive, and no this does not mean you have to show him everything you got, but get pretty. second, yes maybe he wants someone he can get along with, but if your too cool with him, then he'll only see you as a friend. be flirty, give him hints that you can be more than friends. do you know how to flirt? ok furthermore, you know him better than we do, what type of things is he into? what type of girl? and what kind of things does he do? im not saying you shouldnt be yourself to try to get him but try to find something in common

07-31-2009, 01:29 AM	#8
happy ending Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: western australia Posts: 655	tara tiara that boy sounds so nice, to stand up for you against his friend to send you a letter, what an absolute gem. i would also go so far as to say he does like you, and the soda suggestion is a good one. by the way 17 is not old, my stepdaughter is 6ft tall, and was too tall for the boys when she was younger. finally when she was 19 they caught up - please tell us how it goes.

07-31-2009, 05:25 PM	#9
rcoreyus March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SF bay area Posts: 1,334	I remember being a shy teenage boy. I would have loved it if some girl had started to talk to me or expressed interest in me. I was just too shy to make any advances myself. I suggest you do as CW suggested - find some reason to go somewhere with him.

07-31-2009, 06:04 PM	#10
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,230 Blog Entries: 5	Something to keep in mind, as a teen not one boy from my HS ever asked my out. I was pretty but thought it was because I had been raped, that I was was sort of tainted. What I learned talking with a guy freind when working on our HS reunion, very few people knew about the rape and they boys regarded me as too pretty and too smart - they figured I wouldn't ever go out with them. Of course, I didn't because they didn't ever ask! You may have to take some inititive and do as CW suggested.