i don't know

tjsauntie · 07-31-2009, 12:35 AM

im 19 and overweight let's just put it out there i have NEVER EVER had a boyfriend never even had a boy talk to me like that I have always been a friend.I know plenty of big girls probably not as big as me and they have someone. Everyone I know says i have a good personality you'll find someon. but why am I lonely I hate this feeling

and it hurts knowing that in my heart that I will never find anyone because im fat. I've dressed up, went out, friends try to hook me up but it never went farther than a hello. Im on a weight loss journey and i admit it's very hard. I need to lose weight for my health but a big part of me doing this is so that i can have a normal life. someone to hold me you know it hurts being the only one in a group of girls not having a story to tell i dont know i shouldn't feel this way about guys or myself....BUT I DO.

Tara_tiara · 07-31-2009, 12:44 AM

Hey I am 17 and have never been on a date either. Don't take it personally if you can believe it I posted a very similar message about 10 minutes before you labeled May I ask for some assistance please. I need advice. I know the feeling of being lonely and quite frankly it sucks.

**miss.sin.t.uh** · 07-31-2009, 01:02 AM

all my freinds say im lucky because i am 20 and already experienced love. However sometimes i wish i didn't. Being in love and being with someone is so hard, you hardly agree but can't be without each other. I'm going to tell you the same thing i tell my friends.
Sometimes we focus too much on finding someone. Life is not all about that. Sad thing to say is many people die never experiencing love or having a boyfriend EVER. My brother was a big guy, he fell for a girl and lost incredible weight, and now she lives with him. I never thought he would have a girlfriend.
But i also know how you feel, i been about a few weeks single, and about 2 days without a man's affection, and a few minutes since i talked to the guy i love and i feel horrible.
i guess everyone wants to feel loved.
but the best things come when you least expect them.
thats how i met my ex.
i was inlove with my best friend, and i was trying to get over him. I tried going out with soo many guys, and one night i gave up. I had been doing good not focusing on finding someone, when out of nowhere i meet the most amazing person. I was 16 back then, we just broke up 2 weeks ago. But if anything i learned that if you go looking for love, you'll never find it.

**happy ending** · 07-31-2009, 01:33 AM

tjsauntie you need to stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. i am glad to hear you are trying to get healthy. be greatful for what is good in your life and accentuate what is good about your appearance, do you exercise, even a walk around the block is good for helping you to feel more positive. love will come to you when you are ready, live in the now and enjoy your life.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-31-2009, 03:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happy ending

tjsauntie you need to stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. i am glad to hear you are trying to get healthy. be greatful for what is good in your life and accentuate what is good about your appearance, do you exercise, even a walk around the block is good for helping you to feel more positive. love will come to you when you are ready, live in the now and enjoy your life.

Well said happy ending....

You are "assuming" it's because of weight but it's because of the self hate you have for yourself you have decided that the reason is because you are over weight.

If you need to do this for health reasons then start looking at the threads here on weight loss and start doing something but ONLY for yourself.

Negativity breads negativity....

STOP putting yourself down and realise that if any guy does not like your size then they are superficial simple and you know your self worth and who you are so you just say pftttt.

If you are negative then you will dress wrong, you won't do your hair beautifully and you won't put make up on that shows guys that you "don't care about you" and mainly that's the key they want to see, that you think and know you are beautiful inside and out and take care of yourself...

There are so many men that love plus size women and so many plus size models that guys drool over,

Get your head where it's meant to be... Not where you think it should be.

CW

**GlitterAndStuds** · 07-31-2009, 08:41 AM

I'd have to agree with CW on this one. Weird as it sounds, when you think negatively of yourself and put yourself down, it shows. It sends out those vibes. One thing that guys have in common is that they like a girl with confidence. Like everyone else is saying, focus on yourself and making yourself feel awesome. It's amazing what even just fixing your hair or putting on some mascara will do for your self esteem.

I also agree that the best things turn up when you least expect it. You don't need a guy to be able to have fun and enjoy yourself. Go out with your friends, do stuff you enjoy, have fun with the things you love in your life. You're also pretty young. You should be having fun at 17...you have plenty of time to find a great guy, which you will

**Ahryin** · 07-31-2009, 09:02 AM

Ok this is going to be a quite personal response for me. I have been a big girl all my life... my family has big inbedded in them. People would say..well you aren't sloppy fat your just thick (as if thats a compliment) When I was 12 I weighed 165pounds I was and am 5 '4. I'm struggling with my weight now so if you need a buddy to talk to about it girl i'm here because I know I do. I work better when I can motivate others and receive motivation from others. I was always a tom boy not because I wanted to be but because I was raised by my father and raised around my brothers and male cousins (who acted like brothers). Its not that I didn't want to talk to boys but they would have NO part in it. I started dating behind their backs at first and grew up fast I have always been mature and beyond my years. When my father died I went into seclusion but my sister started gaining because she ate for everything. She is now 350pounds which breaks my heart. My sister and I are very close... she has 4kids, 2 of which live with her. Before she settled down she was in a horrible relationship with a man who beat her and she would hide it from us. (When we found out he fled! Then he was arrested before we got to him....but when he gets out he is still in trouble!) I'm sorry I didn't meant to get this deep into the story but I want to give you a little more background about myself and what I have seen.
Just because you are big doesn't mean you can't live a wonderful life! I agree that for health reasons we should all be at a moderate rate and mindful of what we intake. However a doctor told me I'm supposed to weigh 130 pounds which is ridiculous! I would look like a bobble head doll! My body is shaped for that...my comfort weight is 180 which means I feel most comfortable at that weight. I notice that when I feel uncomfortable with myself others notice that. Like little beams of uncomfort shoot from my body which makes it hard for people to approach me. Your first job is to LOVE YOU! How can you expect anyone else to love you if you don't love yourself. I'm 240 right now and I want it off bad! So i'm working hard to get it off. It's hard for me because in Feb I was in a very bad car accident and messed up the back of my thigh. I had to learn how to walk again and had several issues. I just had surgery last friday but once my leg heals up its ON!!!! If you want to loose weight make up your mind and do it. You are young enough where you have the rest of your life ahead of you. You seem to be a nice girl...you will find all the support and love you need within yourself, on this site and i'm sure from your friends and family. I have started taking wheatgrass juice, it helped me before its natural...you should look it up. Ok i'm rambling now...point is...i'm here if you need me! There are plenty of women on this site suffering through the same issues..you are NOT alone!

tjsauntie · 07-31-2009, 10:31 AM

oh my gosh thank you thank you very much i feel you i really do it probably sounds bad but i think i was searchin for someone kinda in my situation who understands i appreciated your story and love the way you stay strong. thanks for being a friend.

tjsauntie · 07-31-2009, 10:34 AM

i walk i almost everyday but i have high standards you know sometimes its not enough. i will look on the diet section for more help

**Ahryin** · 07-31-2009, 10:37 AM

Check out Apidexin it seems people on here like it. But also like I stated before check out Wheatgrass juice you can google it. Whole foods keeps some in the frozen section. Its made by a company called Evergreen. It helps rebuild your blood cells, helps with hair growth, skin and bringing your body to its best weight. It also helps with cravings at least with mine.

07-31-2009, 12:35 AM	#1
tjsauntie Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 4	i don't know im 19 and overweight let's just put it out there i have NEVER EVER had a boyfriend never even had a boy talk to me like that I have always been a friend.I know plenty of big girls probably not as big as me and they have someone. Everyone I know says i have a good personality you'll find someon. but why am I lonely I hate this feeling and it hurts knowing that in my heart that I will never find anyone because im fat. I've dressed up, went out, friends try to hook me up but it never went farther than a hello. Im on a weight loss journey and i admit it's very hard. I need to lose weight for my health but a big part of me doing this is so that i can have a normal life. someone to hold me you know it hurts being the only one in a group of girls not having a story to tell i dont know i shouldn't feel this way about guys or myself....BUT I DO.

07-31-2009, 09:02 AM	#7
Ahryin Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: NY Posts: 662 Blog Entries: 4	Ok this is going to be a quite personal response for me. I have been a big girl all my life... my family has big inbedded in them. People would say..well you aren't sloppy fat your just thick (as if thats a compliment) When I was 12 I weighed 165pounds I was and am 5 '4. I'm struggling with my weight now so if you need a buddy to talk to about it girl i'm here because I know I do. I work better when I can motivate others and receive motivation from others. I was always a tom boy not because I wanted to be but because I was raised by my father and raised around my brothers and male cousins (who acted like brothers). Its not that I didn't want to talk to boys but they would have NO part in it. I started dating behind their backs at first and grew up fast I have always been mature and beyond my years. When my father died I went into seclusion but my sister started gaining because she ate for everything. She is now 350pounds which breaks my heart. My sister and I are very close... she has 4kids, 2 of which live with her. Before she settled down she was in a horrible relationship with a man who beat her and she would hide it from us. (When we found out he fled! Then he was arrested before we got to him....but when he gets out he is still in trouble!) I'm sorry I didn't meant to get this deep into the story but I want to give you a little more background about myself and what I have seen. Just because you are big doesn't mean you can't live a wonderful life! I agree that for health reasons we should all be at a moderate rate and mindful of what we intake. However a doctor told me I'm supposed to weigh 130 pounds which is ridiculous! I would look like a bobble head doll! My body is shaped for that...my comfort weight is 180 which means I feel most comfortable at that weight. I notice that when I feel uncomfortable with myself others notice that. Like little beams of uncomfort shoot from my body which makes it hard for people to approach me. Your first job is to LOVE YOU! How can you expect anyone else to love you if you don't love yourself. I'm 240 right now and I want it off bad! So i'm working hard to get it off. It's hard for me because in Feb I was in a very bad car accident and messed up the back of my thigh. I had to learn how to walk again and had several issues. I just had surgery last friday but once my leg heals up its ON!!!! If you want to loose weight make up your mind and do it. You are young enough where you have the rest of your life ahead of you. You seem to be a nice girl...you will find all the support and love you need within yourself, on this site and i'm sure from your friends and family. I have started taking wheatgrass juice, it helped me before its natural...you should look it up. Ok i'm rambling now...point is...i'm here if you need me! There are plenty of women on this site suffering through the same issues..you are NOT alone! __________________ Everything I'm not makes me Everything I am

07-31-2009, 10:37 AM	#10
Ahryin Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: NY Posts: 662 Blog Entries: 4	Check out Apidexin it seems people on here like it. But also like I stated before check out Wheatgrass juice you can google it. Whole foods keeps some in the frozen section. Its made by a company called Evergreen. It helps rebuild your blood cells, helps with hair growth, skin and bringing your body to its best weight. It also helps with cravings at least with mine. __________________ Everything I'm not makes me Everything I am

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07-31-2009, 12:44 AM	#2
Tara_tiara Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 18	Hey I am 17 and have never been on a date either. Don't take it personally if you can believe it I posted a very similar message about 10 minutes before you labeled May I ask for some assistance please. I need advice. I know the feeling of being lonely and quite frankly it sucks.

07-31-2009, 01:02 AM	#3
miss.sin.t.uh VIP Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 50	all my freinds say im lucky because i am 20 and already experienced love. However sometimes i wish i didn't. Being in love and being with someone is so hard, you hardly agree but can't be without each other. I'm going to tell you the same thing i tell my friends. Sometimes we focus too much on finding someone. Life is not all about that. Sad thing to say is many people die never experiencing love or having a boyfriend EVER. My brother was a big guy, he fell for a girl and lost incredible weight, and now she lives with him. I never thought he would have a girlfriend. But i also know how you feel, i been about a few weeks single, and about 2 days without a man's affection, and a few minutes since i talked to the guy i love and i feel horrible. i guess everyone wants to feel loved. but the best things come when you least expect them. thats how i met my ex. i was inlove with my best friend, and i was trying to get over him. I tried going out with soo many guys, and one night i gave up. I had been doing good not focusing on finding someone, when out of nowhere i meet the most amazing person. I was 16 back then, we just broke up 2 weeks ago. But if anything i learned that if you go looking for love, you'll never find it.

07-31-2009, 01:33 AM	#4
happy ending Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: western australia Posts: 655	tjsauntie you need to stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. i am glad to hear you are trying to get healthy. be greatful for what is good in your life and accentuate what is good about your appearance, do you exercise, even a walk around the block is good for helping you to feel more positive. love will come to you when you are ready, live in the now and enjoy your life.

07-31-2009, 08:41 AM	#6
GlitterAndStuds Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Snake Champion! Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 749 Blog Entries: 1	I'd have to agree with CW on this one. Weird as it sounds, when you think negatively of yourself and put yourself down, it shows. It sends out those vibes. One thing that guys have in common is that they like a girl with confidence. Like everyone else is saying, focus on yourself and making yourself feel awesome. It's amazing what even just fixing your hair or putting on some mascara will do for your self esteem. I also agree that the best things turn up when you least expect it. You don't need a guy to be able to have fun and enjoy yourself. Go out with your friends, do stuff you enjoy, have fun with the things you love in your life. You're also pretty young. You should be having fun at 17...you have plenty of time to find a great guy, which you will

07-31-2009, 10:31 AM	#8
tjsauntie Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 4	oh my gosh thank you thank you very much i feel you i really do it probably sounds bad but i think i was searchin for someone kinda in my situation who understands i appreciated your story and love the way you stay strong. thanks for being a friend.

07-31-2009, 10:34 AM	#9
tjsauntie Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 4	i walk i almost everyday but i have high standards you know sometimes its not enough. i will look on the diet section for more help