what does this saying mean?

trixies · 08-02-2009, 02:38 PM

I started dating a guy at one point. I"m divorced, he was married at the time (now he is divorced). My other posts will explain this guy. Our first "so-called" date (meeting at a bar for some drinks) consisted of us making out in my car. While we were kissing he said to me "you know everything is okay between us don't you" and I just said yes and kept on kissing him, but I have no clue what he meant? Someone told me that sounds like something you would say to your wife? why do guys say things like that?

Guys always seem so into me in the beginning like overwhelming! and then they just disappear! I do sleep with guys too soon (i'm working on that) but ?????????

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-02-2009, 05:49 PM

Sounds to me that he was purely ensuring that you would give it up... It's okay, I'm cool attitude.

Grrr stop making out in the car on your first date lol.

CW

**Ahryin** · 08-03-2009, 08:22 AM

I'm not here to judge you especially since I can tell you already know what your issues are and areas in your life of which need improvement. You are going to continue a terrible pattern of hurt and loss unless you yourself learn how to love yourself. When I say love yourself I mean all of you! Every flaw! Then when you realize that you need no one but God you will be ok and find that person that will fit you perfectly. You can not rush love, you can not make it materialize out of thin air no matter how quickly you give it up. Ofcourse things seem great because the men are using you and getting exactly what they want at that moment. My question is..what are you getting from all of this? A married man? Really? Thats what we do now? That man made a vow to himself, his wife and God! You assisted in breaking that vow...how would you feel? How have you felt when men have cheated on you? You have succeeded in showing this man that it doesn't matter what he does you will lay back open your legs and accept it. WE as women are receivers....which means we have to open ourselves up and receive the man. You receive all his energy and whos ever engery he has been with good and bad. Its like they just unload on you and we carry this around. That is why you have to be very picky on who you decide to bless with your good goods! So to answer your question it is exactly as CW stated....he just wanted to coax you into continuing to accept his sexual advances and counteract any regrets you were possibly having

"Fantasy is what people want but Reality is what they need" -Lauryn Hill

You need to retire from the Fantasy part....

trixies · 08-03-2009, 07:29 PM

thanks for the advice= you are exactly right.

I would just like to add that this guy I was referring to was cheated on a few times by his wife(that's no excuse) but... supposedly I was the first girl he had kissed in 20 years.
I did see his wife out at bars with other guys when they were still offically married, and they did divorce a few months later after I was with him. (she doesn't know about me)

I have come a long way since last year though!!

Mrs Doodles · 08-04-2009, 05:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trixies

consisted of us making out in my car

Does making out with him mean you had sex with him?

trixies · 08-04-2009, 08:05 AM

No I did not have sex with him that night. About our 4th so called date we had sex at his house. I have another post which explains this situation.tha nks for all the input- I need it!

**Ahryin** · 08-04-2009, 08:46 AM

Trixies I'm sorry if what I said sounded harsh. I just figure you have enough people sugar coating things for you. I tell every one I'm here if you need to talk or a non bias outlook. I judge NO one. That is not my job and i'm glad its not. I understand how hard it can be at time especially when you are alone or coming off of a break up. Your heart hurts but just because you feel alone doesn't mean you are alone!
There is a thread on this site that allows you to brag about all the things you like about yourself...another started by CW that allows you to share what you love about yourself...you should utilize them. Then write down what ever it is you dont like, what ever it is you want to change or get rid of. Anything that pains you...go somewhere (outside hopefully) and light it on fire and throw it away...its gone then and treat it as such!

**baja** · 08-04-2009, 03:39 PM

"you know everything is okay between us don't you"

I read this post yesterday -- didn't respond -- and even after 24 hours, I still don't think the comment this guy made was cool. What kind of guy says this? What does it say of the woman? Everytime I consider the answers to these questions, I can't think of a single positive or respectful way to intepret it.

**OG612** · 08-04-2009, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baja

"you know everything is okay between us don't you"

I read this post yesterday -- didn't respond -- and even after 24 hours, I still don't think the comment this guy made was cool. What kind of guy says this? What does it say of the woman? Everytime I consider the answers to these questions, I can't think of a single positive or respectful way to intepret it.

After thinking about this some more, it could also be his way of saying "You don't have to do anything you're not ready to do."

OG

trixies · 08-04-2009, 05:53 PM

hmm. that's interesting.

Before we actually started our so called dating he did say to me "whenever you're ready." He said that because I hadn't said yes yet to us going out.

08-02-2009, 02:38 PM	#1
trixies Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 10	what does this saying mean? I started dating a guy at one point. I"m divorced, he was married at the time (now he is divorced). My other posts will explain this guy. Our first "so-called" date (meeting at a bar for some drinks) consisted of us making out in my car. While we were kissing he said to me "you know everything is okay between us don't you" and I just said yes and kept on kissing him, but I have no clue what he meant? Someone told me that sounds like something you would say to your wife? why do guys say things like that? Guys always seem so into me in the beginning like overwhelming! and then they just disappear! I do sleep with guys too soon (i'm working on that) but ?????????

08-02-2009, 05:49 PM	#2
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,958 Blog Entries: 7	Sounds to me that he was purely ensuring that you would give it up... It's okay, I'm cool attitude. Grrr stop making out in the car on your first date lol. CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

08-03-2009, 08:22 AM	#3
Ahryin Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: NY Posts: 662 Blog Entries: 4	I'm not here to judge you especially since I can tell you already know what your issues are and areas in your life of which need improvement. You are going to continue a terrible pattern of hurt and loss unless you yourself learn how to love yourself. When I say love yourself I mean all of you! Every flaw! Then when you realize that you need no one but God you will be ok and find that person that will fit you perfectly. You can not rush love, you can not make it materialize out of thin air no matter how quickly you give it up. Ofcourse things seem great because the men are using you and getting exactly what they want at that moment. My question is..what are you getting from all of this? A married man? Really? Thats what we do now? That man made a vow to himself, his wife and God! You assisted in breaking that vow...how would you feel? How have you felt when men have cheated on you? You have succeeded in showing this man that it doesn't matter what he does you will lay back open your legs and accept it. WE as women are receivers....which means we have to open ourselves up and receive the man. You receive all his energy and whos ever engery he has been with good and bad. Its like they just unload on you and we carry this around. That is why you have to be very picky on who you decide to bless with your good goods! So to answer your question it is exactly as CW stated....he just wanted to coax you into continuing to accept his sexual advances and counteract any regrets you were possibly having "Fantasy is what people want but Reality is what they need" -Lauryn Hill You need to retire from the Fantasy part.... __________________ Everything I'm not makes me Everything I am

08-04-2009, 08:46 AM	#7
Ahryin Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: NY Posts: 662 Blog Entries: 4	Trixies I'm sorry if what I said sounded harsh. I just figure you have enough people sugar coating things for you. I tell every one I'm here if you need to talk or a non bias outlook. I judge NO one. That is not my job and i'm glad its not. I understand how hard it can be at time especially when you are alone or coming off of a break up. Your heart hurts but just because you feel alone doesn't mean you are alone! There is a thread on this site that allows you to brag about all the things you like about yourself...another started by CW that allows you to share what you love about yourself...you should utilize them. Then write down what ever it is you dont like, what ever it is you want to change or get rid of. Anything that pains you...go somewhere (outside hopefully) and light it on fire and throw it away...its gone then and treat it as such! __________________ Everything I'm not makes me Everything I am

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08-03-2009, 07:29 PM	#4
trixies Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 10	thanks for the advice= you are exactly right. I would just like to add that this guy I was referring to was cheated on a few times by his wife(that's no excuse) but... supposedly I was the first girl he had kissed in 20 years. I did see his wife out at bars with other guys when they were still offically married, and they did divorce a few months later after I was with him. (she doesn't know about me) I have come a long way since last year though!!

08-04-2009, 08:05 AM	#6
trixies Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 10	No I did not have sex with him that night. About our 4th so called date we had sex at his house. I have another post which explains this situation.tha nks for all the input- I need it!

08-04-2009, 03:39 PM	#8
baja VIP Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 63	"you know everything is okay between us don't you" I read this post yesterday -- didn't respond -- and even after 24 hours, I still don't think the comment this guy made was cool. What kind of guy says this? What does it say of the woman? Everytime I consider the answers to these questions, I can't think of a single positive or respectful way to intepret it.

08-04-2009, 05:53 PM	#10
trixies Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 10	hmm. that's interesting. Before we actually started our so called dating he did say to me "whenever you're ready." He said that because I hadn't said yes yet to us going out.