Aeshma-Deva

Me and my ex boyfriend of 2 and a half years, are still friends. I had broke up with him because we were going through a hard time and drinking alot together, making a mess of our lives. After that he hooked up with my best friend and asked me to forgive him, I obiviously denied that. Well, believe it or not we actually remain friends to this day and its been 4 years. He wants to get back together with me but I feel as though I can't trust him anymore. I just really need some advice, I feel alone and I am afraid of making the wrong decision and losing him as a friend, or making the decision as getting back together with him and him doing the same thing agian. By the way did I metion they actually got serious with eachother for a year after I wouldnt take him back. I think alot of it has to do with my own insecurities of feeling as though I wasnt and still am not good enough. Just to make it clear as he was dating her I wouldnt talk to either one of them, She never tried, and he always called me drunk. He currently is sober. But I dont know if I should trust it.... HELPPP!!!

WildChild

You broke up with him, he dated someone else, who doesn't matter, you had broken up.
He is currently sober. Are you?
I fail to see what the problem is as far as trust. I do have concerns that you still have things you need to work on.

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We can only learn to love by loving.

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LanaBear

I understand that sometimes, some girls consider the ex's are off limits for best friends. But I don't see where the trust issue stems from... You guys were broke up, right? He didn't do anything with her or someone else when you guys are together, right?

Exactly why don't you trust him?

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Sometimes life isn't the party we hoped for, but since we're here, we might as well DANCE!

Aeshma-Deva

Well before hand he did cheat on me while we were together and he said it was because he was drunk. And he never would do anything like that if he was sober... so.. that broke my trust, then it broke my heart into another million pieces that he went for someone who is close to me.

Aeshma-Deva

Were both currently sober yes.

LanaBear

Well first, congratulations on being sober. That's a big accomplishment.

If you have trust issues with him, I wouldn't recommend getting back into a relationship with him. You two have been friends for the last 4 years, if he hasn't earned back your trust in that time, I don't think being more than friends will help it. If you are recovering, you don't need to be in any type of volatile relationship that may cause you to break your recovery.

I have a close relative that is an alcoholic, unfortunately she can't stay sober for an extended period of time and when she is sober she jumps into relationships with other addicts recovering and not. Things go wrong and she falls off the wagon. You just need to be careful and only worry about yourself!

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Sometimes life isn't the party we hoped for, but since we're here, we might as well DANCE!

Ahryin

Ok I understand that you feel betrayed by both your ex and your best friend. My best friend and I have NEVER dated each others ex's...its just one of those unwriten rules so I totally understand that. However are you holding her accountable for her actions as well. She was or is your best friend and had to know your feelings towards your ex.

Truthfully if you are sober and he is sober you have to leave the past in the past. This is a new day for you, a day you had to work hard for. Both of you should start with a clean slate and state of mind. If you can put aside your past emotions and disappointments than I say go for it. Go for it with all your heart because if you don't you will later think back and regret...however if you can not leave the past in the past...if you can not shut the door on those ghost, then walk away. They will haunt you and distroy and hope for happiness

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Everything I'm not makes me Everything I am