trixies

How do you know when you are ready to date? I just feel so crazy all the time. I felt like i was ready to date years ago when I was still married. I have been divorced 3 years but my ex was never there and sex starved me. I have sort of dated but it is always guys that just want to sleep with me.

I know a few times I probably could of made more out of the situation but I broke down and slept with them and then everything ended.

I am also very picky and hardly ever see anything I like! Now I know why people get boyfriends so fast because they just settle for the first thing that comes along.

I am depressed, lonely, and am always mad, revengeful and can't take anymore of this!! I ALWAYS get hurt, just thrown aside. I feel like a fool! I've got played so many times and i fell for it all. Everytime a new guy hurts me it brings back all the hurt and pain from my ex! I am also so depressed over my ex having a girlfriend. I walk around all day long and it's all I think about is how miserable I am, and my mind just races about these guys and how hurt I feel. My life is just one big bowl of hurt and I feel like I will never get out of it and be happy.

WildChild

Well you need to lose the poor attitude before you bring anyone into your life. I've dealt repeatedly with men who have this problem They put on a good act for just long enough to draw you in and then- WHAM - you get all the pent up stuff to deal with. It isn't right to do to anyone. You don't want it, don't do to them.

As for the other side of it, what interests you? Find new things to try or learn, get out with freinds, attend lectures, work out, join a hiking group, volunteer with Habitat for Humanity or someplace like that. Just expand your horizons, you'll be happier and then you can meet some men who doing more than prowling looking to get laid.

__________________
We can only learn to love by loving.

Iris Mudoch, British writer

Hopeless Dork

Meet men in places where you would want the man in your life hanging out in. By that I mean if you don't want to date a guy that cheats and hangs in bars all night -- don't go to bars to meet guys.

I agree with WC that you got to find a way to let go of the hurt. Maybe being alone for a little while is not such a bad thing. Get some perspective for a few months and learn to love yourself , enjoy your own company and then when the right guy comes a long he will too.

Don't shut your heart, leave it open, don't latch on to every guy that asks you out, but don't dismiss guys that want conversation with you just because they don't fit into some cookie cutter box of what you think your future bf should be.

So many good, kind-hearted, attractive men are passed over time and time again while the same handful of jerks get action left and right.

You don't have to flirt at every guy you see out on his own, but don't be shy to start up harmless conversation with folks here and there.

If you are finding that guys aren't considering you girlfriend material because you sleep with them too fast, stop doing that. I understand hormones and chemistry but be sure to showcase who you are as person, not just the pleasure you can provide. If you feel like you have established your personality to a person and want to sleep with them quickly there is no harm in that. But if your just buzzed and not really making an impression with your clothes on, you might not get that second chance to make it after its all said and done.

__________________
-------------
Defintion of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

ariel571

I absolutely second that! You want "him" to be comfortable in the same places you are comfortable in, too- so go to places you like. Just an example...if you are a dog lover, go to a dog park. If you hate bars, don't go to a bar- chances are, you won't find your kindred spirit there.

CHANDLERS WISH

Reverse the role then.

Time to actually say to them, "listen, don't get serious with me"... If you then sleep with them so be it... You made your case at the inset and so you won't feel horrible after and, on the same accord ,you may make them think WT? And, try to actually please you , date you and prove to you that they are worth it...

Reverse Physcology.

For the record 2 years, 3 months, 4 days haha.. For me ... sexually? Sugar... I can actually count them over that period of time and it's sad... lol.. But you get that...

CW

__________________
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told

Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!

Register! | Rules/FAQ | Contact Mod

caterpillar79

So, how is your fishing going?

__________________
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain.

OhThereYouAre

And guys most certainly pick up on this.

You can't walk around with a bad attitude and then wonder why you can't find someone.

Cheer up. That's just the way life goes, you win some, you lose some. Some people use you.

Remember, men will only use you if you let them.

If you want respect from men, then bloody h&ll you need to act in a way that demands it.

Best of luck to you.

__________________
'If you think you can or you can't, you're probably right..."

"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit..."

"People who lack the sense to question Big Lies always end up in deep trouble..."

"I don't worry about pointing fingers in the past...i operate under the assumption that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future..."

"Build the life you want and then find someone to share it with, someone who fits where you are and where you are going..."

rcoreyus

Don't think "date". Think "find friends to have fun with". As others have said, go to places you like and talk to people who enjoy being there. Don't go looking for romance - look for people you get along with and romance will follow.