prawnprincess

Even when you have the most amazing boyfriend, a "dangerous" guy might catch your eye. Have you ever left a "nice guy" for a "bad boy"? If so, what happened? Sometimes the "bad boys" make nice guys seem more superficial and less real. Can choosing the "bad boy" ever make you happy? Please share your thoughts!

rcoreyus

I'm always (sadly) amused when women choose a "bad boy" over a nice guy - and then are unhappy when it turns out that he is bad.

WildChild

Never done this, don't really care for "bad boys". I prefer men. I want some maturity, someone who respects themselves and others, not into game playing (unless it's Risk or Grand Mastermind) or manipulation. However being a "nice guy" doesn't mean he is good relationship material. I was married to one, he was self focused, unaffectionate, uncaring, convinced he was smarter than the rest of the planet and constantly negative and complaining.
You have to really get to know them and then pick and choose.

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We can only learn to love by loving.

Iris Mudoch, British writer

caterpillar79

Women have "mother" instinct which makes them more attracted to bad boys. Being motherly, we, women, tend to get caught up into "fixing" these bad boys. We tend to have this sense of accomplishment as we go on our way trying to improve them if not change them, hence fix them to how we want them to be. This pattern is unhealthy, yet most, if not all women including myself have constantly done this unconsciously. I have always wanted a real man - someone matured, loyal and honest, a gentleman, with a hint of "bad boy" (depends on your definition). Nice guys are women pleasers and tend to fail to assert themselves - I am not their fan. I wish men realize that they need to strike a proper balance, as we women strive to, as well.

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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain.

rcoreyus

What is the old joke - women get married hoping that he will change, men get married hoping that she won't.

I think the bad-boy issue is because a lot of people think that being responsible means being boring. It doesn't. There are lots of people who have steady jobs, don't get incapacitated drunk or frequently arrested, but do lots of adventitious things.

caterpillar79

You've got me point blank there, Richard... He read the No More Mr. Nice Guy by David DeAngelo...do I have to blame the author? LOL!

Anyway, balance balance balance...it is what it is. When the shoe fits, wear it...if not, find a new pair.

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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain.

WildChild

You have to watch out for those books and take it all with a grain of salt. I read one about dealing with "bad boys" supposedly written by one who's made a business of it. I tried out a couple things he advised as "musts" in dealing with a man. The result? A rather irritated, even POd man. He's not that type. Just because someone writes a book doesn't mean they know what they are talking about or that what they are promoting will apply to a larger group - let alone universally.

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We can only learn to love by loving.

Iris Mudoch, British writer

GlitterAndStuds

I definitely went through that "bad boy" stage in high school. I had a boyfriend that would pretty much bend over backwards for me, and I ended up breaking up with him because I had feelings for someone else. It was this guy who sang for a band, wore T-shirts of all kinds of great bands, had the most phenomenal voice and presence, I was just in awe of him. He wasn't necessarily a "bad boy" but he had the image of one. I didn't even pursue it, just broke up with the guy because of the fact that I liked someone else.

But in retrospect, while the guy I was with treated me awesome, there's a fine line between nice guy and clingy guy...which is also what he was. I'm over that stage now, anyone will tell you my SO is fantastic to me, and I've never been happier. But if there's one thing I hate, it's clingers, haha.

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