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Thread: Does sex once a week indicate a low male sex drive?

  1. #1
    Junior Member crysthanamum is on a distinguished road
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    Default Does sex once a week indicate a low male sex drive?

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    Hello,

    I'm new to this wonderful forum, so thanks for taking the time to read my post!

    A little background about my my relationship: I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 and a half years now. We started out extremely passionate -- long love-making sessions, sometimes twice in one day. We've since moved in together (it's been a year) and while we feel just as close, the sex has tapered off.

    I'm aware that this is a natural phenomenon in most relationships once the infatuation period passes, but my pesky brain keeps insisting that my bf just doesn't desire me. We are both physically attractive and fit, so body-wise, nothing has changed. We also both teach at a local high school (high levels of stress!) so it's possible we've fallen into a comfortable rut of "hey, what's on TV tonight?"

    We typically have sex once a week, usually on a weekend morning. It's always very good and full of feeling. My bf is quite talented at lasting a long time and only coming after I come. We also cuddle constantly, slap each other on the butt, say i love you, etc. My concern is this: shouldn't a male in his early thirties initiate sex more often, or want it more? There are evenings when we get home, and I'll straddle him on the couch, but rather than sex ensuing, we fall into a cuddle. Is this a sign that the spark has just fled?

    A few weeks ago I went away for a conference, and when I returned, we did it three times in a row. So maybe it's just the inevitable familiarity at play here...any comments would be greatly appreciated! I guess my ultimate question is this: is quality sex once a week normal for a guy, or does it indicate a major dip in desire for his partner? I'm not ill-content with our frequency (although I wouldn't complain if we upped it to 2-3 times a week!) but only fear that he should desire me more.

  2. #2
    Banned from WH OhThereYouAre is an unknown quantity at this point
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    It sounds like you guys are pretty healthy.

    Normally I'd say that masturbation may play a part, but since you both work together I don't think that's the case.

    I also liked the conference part and him not leaving you alone when you got back. good sign.

    This sounds like normal aging. He may want to hit the docs office and get a blood test to see what his testosterone levels are. Go from there.

    FWIW - I know people who have been prescribed testosterone supplements and it works wonders for both male and female libidos, as well as their overall quality of relationship.

    Good luck to you both.

  3. #3
    WH Head Moderator WildChild will become famous soon enough WildChild's Avatar
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    Do you ever initiate? What would happen if you straddled him on the couch and got down his pants?
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

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    TEAM ADMIN CHANDLERS WISH is on a distinguished road CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    If you went away and came back and had sex 2 - 3 times, then it's just "lifestyle rut" which you have to change.

    Sure, the honeymoon stage goes, but work, tired, what's on TV,what's for dinner, is mundane life. You should have strawberries and cream already sitting on the table and a candle lit so when he asks, direct him to the table and smile....

    Simple little things bring it all back in an instant.

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

  5. #5
    Junior Member crysthanamum is on a distinguished road
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    Thank you for your replies! Yes, I suspect it's just a rut. I do enjoy jumping his bones, but I guess my biggest thrill comes from being taken. I should look at the situation from his eyes, too, and remind him of his sexiness.

  6. #6
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts OG612 is on a distinguished road OG612's Avatar
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    I agree with OTYA. Woah! Did I just say that?

    He still loves you. He still desires you. Maybe because you both live and work together, you're just too familiar with each other. Too comfortable.

    If you get home before him one day, get in the shower, get soaked, and wait for him naked in the living room. If that doesn't make him pitch a trouser tent, then nothing will.

    OG
    Through hypnosis, I create confident men and women to succeed in all facets of their lives. This place will soon get very interesting

  7. #7
    Junior Member AdamAndEve is on a distinguished road
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    One thing to consider would be to talk it over with your partner – maybe he's asking himself the same questions!

  8. #8
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+)MAY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH pretzel is on a distinguished road pretzel's Avatar
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    Sounds like comfort and complacency. It happens and it doesn't matter whether you're married or living together, it still applies.

    Aside from that, the suggestions already made would be a good place to start.

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