crysthanamum

Hello,

I'm new to this wonderful forum, so thanks for taking the time to read my post!

A little background about my my relationship: I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 and a half years now. We started out extremely passionate -- long love-making sessions, sometimes twice in one day. We've since moved in together (it's been a year) and while we feel just as close, the sex has tapered off.

I'm aware that this is a natural phenomenon in most relationships once the infatuation period passes, but my pesky brain keeps insisting that my bf just doesn't desire me. We are both physically attractive and fit, so body-wise, nothing has changed. We also both teach at a local high school (high levels of stress!) so it's possible we've fallen into a comfortable rut of "hey, what's on TV tonight?"

We typically have sex once a week, usually on a weekend morning. It's always very good and full of feeling. My bf is quite talented at lasting a long time and only coming after I come. We also cuddle constantly, slap each other on the butt, say i love you, etc. My concern is this: shouldn't a male in his early thirties initiate sex more often, or want it more? There are evenings when we get home, and I'll straddle him on the couch, but rather than sex ensuing, we fall into a cuddle. Is this a sign that the spark has just fled?

A few weeks ago I went away for a conference, and when I returned, we did it three times in a row. So maybe it's just the inevitable familiarity at play here...any comments would be greatly appreciated! I guess my ultimate question is this: is quality sex once a week normal for a guy, or does it indicate a major dip in desire for his partner? I'm not ill-content with our frequency (although I wouldn't complain if we upped it to 2-3 times a week!) but only fear that he should desire me more.

OhThereYouAre

It sounds like you guys are pretty healthy.

Normally I'd say that masturbation may play a part, but since you both work together I don't think that's the case.

I also liked the conference part and him not leaving you alone when you got back. good sign.

This sounds like normal aging. He may want to hit the docs office and get a blood test to see what his testosterone levels are. Go from there.

FWIW - I know people who have been prescribed testosterone supplements and it works wonders for both male and female libidos, as well as their overall quality of relationship.

Good luck to you both.

__________________
'If you think you can or you can't, you're probably right..."

"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit..."

"People who lack the sense to question Big Lies always end up in deep trouble..."

"I don't worry about pointing fingers in the past...i operate under the assumption that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future..."

"Build the life you want and then find someone to share it with, someone who fits where you are and where you are going..."

WildChild

Do you ever initiate? What would happen if you straddled him on the couch and got down his pants?

__________________
We can only learn to love by loving.

Iris Mudoch, British writer

CHANDLERS WISH

If you went away and came back and had sex 2 - 3 times, then it's just "lifestyle rut" which you have to change.

Sure, the honeymoon stage goes, but work, tired, what's on TV,what's for dinner, is mundane life. You should have strawberries and cream already sitting on the table and a candle lit so when he asks, direct him to the table and smile....

Simple little things bring it all back in an instant.

CW

__________________
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told

Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!

Register! | Rules/FAQ | Contact Mod

crysthanamum

Thank you for your replies! Yes, I suspect it's just a rut. I do enjoy jumping his bones, but I guess my biggest thrill comes from being taken. I should look at the situation from his eyes, too, and remind him of his sexiness.

OG612

I agree with OTYA. Woah! Did I just say that?

He still loves you. He still desires you. Maybe because you both live and work together, you're just too familiar with each other. Too comfortable.

If you get home before him one day, get in the shower, get soaked, and wait for him naked in the living room. If that doesn't make him pitch a trouser tent, then nothing will.

OG

__________________
Through hypnosis, I create confident men and women to succeed in all facets of their lives. This place will soon get very interesting