Girls I want your opinion on pickup (guys hitting on you in a club)

**OG612** · 09-16-2009 09:42 PM

Originally Posted by Little

And what is good, Phaedrus, And what is not good -- Need we ask anyone to tell us these things?

Excellent quote.

All the PUA tactics I've heard of are harmful to others (and in my universe, therefore bad.) If you can take something healthy and progressive out of that, kudos to you. Maybe the ends justify the means ...

Not all of the techniques are harmful to others. Most of the damage being done, oddly enough, is to the practitioner and not their "targets". It's a false sense of security that "If I do this, then I'll get this result." Very Pavlovian, if you will.

These kids (and most of them are rather young) begin taking what someone tells them as advice and turning it in to gospel. "Pickup Guru says to do this! That must work!" Another big problem in the community is the amount of reading these guys do on various subjects. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with someone reading a book to better themselves. But someone reads "Sperm Wars" or "The Red Queen" and they're suddenly experts on evolutionary and sexual psychology. They treat the information in all the books they read as if it came from the Grand Architect. I haven't read these books, personally, because I don't believe it'll benefit my highest purpose at this moment.

The way the PUA community is showcased is hardly favorable. The way a lot of it is presented online is rather deceitful. The secret is learning what it is, why it works, and how to integrate it in to Who You Are, instead of you becoming the material. That's why I don't identify with the Pickup community like I did a year or 3 ago. I've seen past the smoke and mirrors to a higher level.

I will admit that I have become a much better communicator across quite a few levels since getting in to this back in February 2006. My confidence has evolved, as well as my personality. But what I am today was inside of me all along. I just had to wake it up. That's where most of the PUA community goes wrong.

OG

**WildChild** · 09-17-2009 12:04 AM

Originally Posted by OG612

I don't play favorites. She knowingly went in to this, knowing I'd be the only man she was allowed to sleep with, but could have my other girlfriends whenever they wanted, and had fun. She found out that this "alternative" lifestyle wasn't for her. It's not for everybody. The only way to truly know what will work for you and what will not is to try something new.

OG

This isn't polyamoury, it's polygamy. For those who may be unfamiliar with the terms:
Monogamy is two people exclusive to each other
Polygamy is one man and two or more women, exclusive to each other - man to woman
Polyandery is one women and two or more men, again exclusive -woman to man
Polyamoury is generally two or more women and two or more men; they may limit themselves to complimentry gender sex only or may include same gender sex as well. There are usually some agreed upon guidelines to prevent the forming of "couples". If it is one person of one gender and two or more of the other gender, to be polyamoury there would be same gender sex involved.

Polyamoury within the BDSM community may be a bit different, I haven't had contact with that.

The important thing is that everyone understands what they getting into and can comfortably get out if it isn't working out for them.

**OhThereYouAre** · 09-17-2009 06:37 AM

I'll ask again - since no one bit:

Any of the ladies here okay with me dating you and fugging all your friends as well? Even if I was up front and honest about it?

**WildChild** · 09-17-2009 07:33 AM

Not for me. I'm not jealous, not into wanting to know where he is, what he is doing every minute but I'm a one man woman and expect the same.

Anyway, I never met a man yet who could keep up with me or who wanted as much sex, as consistantly as I do! Why on earth would I want him to be spreading it around?

That said, I have known a few women who were in polygamous relationships and fairly happy with it. They were part of a religious group that sanctioned that practice, each had their own home, the man was supporting them fully and I don't think either was much interested in sex with him. In fact, dispite their belief system's violent aversion to same gender relationships, they said they would be happy with the two it them and no him at all.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-17-2009 08:12 AM

Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre

I'll ask again - since no one bit:

Any of the ladies here okay with me dating you and fugging all your friends as well? Even if I was up front and honest about it?

No... No way.

Your too hot, wouldn't want anyone else, okay, okay, jokes aside.

No... I couldn't handle it... It would make me feel dirty, cheap, unwanted etc, etc.

**OG612** · 09-17-2009 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by WildChild

This isn't polyamoury, it's polygamy.

DEFINITIONS

Thank you for correcting me.

OG

**LanaBear** · 09-17-2009 11:34 AM

Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre

Any of the ladies here okay with me dating you and fugging all your friends as well? Even if I was up front and honest about it?

Nope, what's mine is mine and what's yours is, well, mine too. Just kidding. But that would be one BIG OLE NO NO NO!!!

**ThexMrs** · 09-17-2009 03:32 PM

Any of the ladies here okay with me dating you and fugging all your friends as well? Even if I was up front and honest about it?

If our relationship was completely open and I was able to do the same things... Still, no.

**Little** · 09-17-2009 04:09 PM

If I didn't care about you and for some reason was incapable of caring about you, maybe. If the sex was really good and I was desperate enough.
Lots of ifs and maybes for that situation to be feasible, so I guess the real answer is ... NO! Or only for a limited amount of time.
But the idea of sleeping around on a woman without her being able to do the same ... why can't she? Was it your mandate or her idea? If you're sleeping with other women, what makes you feel you can mandate her to do anything? Or in the same situation, what makes her feel like she shouldn't sleep with other men?

**GlitterAndStuds** · 09-18-2009 06:22 AM

Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre

I'll ask again - since no one bit:

Any of the ladies here okay with me dating you and fugging all your friends as well? Even if I was up front and honest about it?

No sirree bob

. I'll admit I can totally be the jealous type, but it's not even that. It would be awful for my self esteem, and I would just always feel like I wasn't good enough. That and the mental image of my SO doing anything with another woman makes me want to stick a spoon in my eye.

If we were just dating and I didn't care at all about where the relationship went...then whatever. But even then it's a stretch.

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