Is it bad to remember these kinda things?

**Goodgirl93** · 09-15-2009, 11:56 PM

Okay,so i ve had this thing for this guy since last october.we got so close that we were hanging out everynite.from like 10pm til 6 in the morning.we did everything together.he did/does have a girlfriend.but from mine and hers point of few we were just like brother and sister,well come to find,he likes me.He told me late may of this year.I got even more compfortable with him knowing he liked me,and like a snap of a finger,he was gone.a little argument between friends,he chose a side,and it wasn't mine.so basically not only did he turn his back on me,but he made me believe he wud leave his girlfriend,and we wud be together.is 18,almost 19,and I was 15 at the time,but now 16.but we lost touch in july.I haven't seen or heard him since.WHY DO I STILL THINK ABOUT HIM?WHY DO I MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY?IS IT WRONG FOR ME TO MISS HIM KNOWING HE TURNED HIS BACK ON ME? I've heard it all.from oh he's an ,you shudnt miss him.but no one understands me and his relationship.it was unlike any other and I would do anything to have that back.please...advice.has anyone gone thru this?

**ThexMrs** · 09-16-2009, 12:13 AM

First of all... It was wrong for him to lead you on. For that, he is a dic. I agree with your friends. Second of all, if he had a girlfriend, why was he with you so much? For that, as his girlfriend, I would think he was a dic as well. (This isn't useful so far but bare with me)

You had a bond with him, one that was like no other that you've ever had. That isn't something that is just going to go away. It will take time for you to move on from this and get past the hurt. You have to be strong. You've made it this far.

I wouldn't say that he turned his back on you just because he didn't side with you. When it comes to friendship you should never force someone to take a side and then when it's not yours, stop being friends. That's not a real friendship. You have to understand each other and from there make the choice to be neutral if possible. If I may ask, what was this fight about?

There is nothing wrong with missing him. That's natural whether or not you are angry with him for his choice. You created a bond, you had a connection as I said, that won't just go away.

If you really feel that he turned his back on you though, why don't you sound upset about that? Do you see now that it's not what he did? Do you think that you may have forced him to do this? I really need more information to make a better assessment.

If you know how to contact him, do it. Just write him an email (though he doesn't seem worth your time) and let him know how you feel. That you miss the friendship and want that but really... JUST THAT, the friendship. Anymore with him doesn't seem like a good idea.

**Goodgirl93** · 09-16-2009, 12:22 AM

Okay,well he spent a lot of time with me because he was usally with his gf during thay day,and we hung out at nite.not always alone,with other friends as well.and I feel he has turned his back on me because he chose to stop talking to me.he changed his number,so I can't get a hold of him in any way.it sux.but its more of just to the fact that he didn't try to make the friendship work as much as I did after he admitted to liking me.I never did anything to push him away.never once did we fight.and the fight with the friend was because he started nasty rumors about me,so I told the guy I like that the a hole liked his gf.wich is honestly true.and the guy I like chose his side,instead of mine.wich hurt cause he barely knew my so called friend.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-16-2009, 12:32 AM

I suspect because you were "so" close is why you miss him "so" much and that's natural.

The guy started rumors about you, because he wanted this guy's woman, well he did it all the wrong way, because it backfired on him, your friend I assume is still with his girlfriend..

Guys are guys, it's almost like if they believe a woman at that age, over a mate, then all mates will call him a and basically he will have no friends.. Survival.

But, I also tend to think that due to your age, non-consential and all that, I would imagine to where you live, that he chose to stay on the path he was on.

Your problem is you don't have closure, you did nothing wrong and can't ever tell him again of those facts and prove them.

Check facebook see if he's on there, check with a friend, of a friend, you can find him eventually and send him a letter as a "friend" and let him know once and for all you didn't lie.

At least you can get closure even if he never replies and if he doesn't then he seriously isn't a friend you want in life is he.

Sometimes, people come into our lives for a reason, and there are many reasons but usually we learn by it and grow..

This may have just been one of those situations.. The reasons why you met and were friends are no longer valid... There's no more purpose.

I imagine he was your first crush too though and until you meet someone again, that you really like, he'll probably stay on your mind.

Welcome to being a female.

CW

**Goodgirl93** · 09-16-2009, 12:43 AM

Its not so much as he was my first crush,he was the first guy I had ever been sooooooo close to.I cud talk to him about everything.even talking about sex wasn't uncompfortable with him.and I am glad he chose to stay with his gf,because they have been together for a long time,and she is more his age.but why he had to end our friendship so harshly with not even a goodbye really bums me out.but as much as I want to be mad at him,I can't be.I just wish I could move on and forget about him.atleast I would have the good memories we had,instead of always dwelling on the bad ones.

**dr.mansview** · 09-16-2009, 02:03 AM

perhaps his gf was jealous of your relationship with him and gave him an ultimatum

**Goodgirl93** · 09-16-2009, 02:28 AM

Honestly,I think she mite have.because we were good friends,then suddenly she stopped talking to me,then 2 months later,he did to.

**GlitterAndStuds** · 09-16-2009, 06:27 AM

I know I didn't have a guy I was THAT close with when I was 15, unless he was my boyfriend. But even then, never anyone that I could see every single night and tell everything to. So it's definitely a big adjustment to go from seeing them all the time to not at all. I can understand that.

Mrs. is right though, he should have thought more about what he was doing to you and his girlfriend. He got you really close to him then bailed as soon as things got hard. Plus he liked you while he had a girlfriend, which I think is very shady. I'm not saying this in a harsh way, but if I was his girlfriend, I would be really uncomfortable if my boyfriend was leaving me every day to go hang out with another girl at all hours of the night...every night. It's very possible that she didn't like it and let him know that, so that could be why he stopped seeing you.

You probably still miss him because it sounds like you didn't get any closure. Exactly what CW said (read my mind, I was about to say it). There was a fight, you stopped talking, that was it... but nothing was ever resolved, and you haven't talked since then, so you didn't get to express how you feel. So you have 2 options. 1) Let it go and know that he made a choice. He's pretty much cut off contact with you, so that makes things difficult or 2) Find a way to message him, get everything off your chest..and again, let it go. It's much easier said than done, and he may never respond to you. But at least you'll feel better knowing that you won't regret keeping everything in. What you do is up to you.

**OG612** · 09-16-2009, 09:25 AM

What happened here is that you had given this guy a piece of your heart. You believe you're missing him when in reality, you're missing that piece of your heart he doesn't know he's carrying around. You just assume it's him because you don't know any better.

Below, you will find instructions for a very powerful form of healing. I've done this many times myself, and have guided dozens of men and women through this process as well. It's called "Ho'oponopono" (Ho-oh-pono-pono) and is taken from the Huna tradition (Hawaiian shamans). Google "the process of ho'oponopono" and you'll get even more information.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Process of Ho'oponopono

Bring to mind anyone with whom you do not feel total alignment or support, etc.

In your mind's eye, construct a small stage below you

Imagine an infinite source of love and healing flowing from a source above the top of your head (from your Higher Self), and open up the top of your head, and let the source of love and healing flow down inside your body, fill up the body, and overflow out your heart to heal up the person on the stage. Be sure it is all right for you to heal the person and that they accept the healing.

When the healing is complete, have a discussion with the person and forgive them, and have them forgive you.

Next, let go of the person, and see them floating away. As they do, cut the aka cord that connects the two of you (if appropriate). If you are healing in a current primary relationship, then assimilate the person inside you.

Do this with every person in your life with whom you are incomplete, or not aligned.

The final test is, can you see the person or think of them without feeling any negative emotions. If you do feel negative emotions when you do, then do the process again.

The aka cord referenced towards the end is an ethereal substance. Imagine thin beam of light or energy connecting you two. Once this healing is complete, and you cut the aka cord free, attach it back to your heart. It's one thing to have that connection gone, but it's more powerful to connect it back to yourself.

OG

**WildChild** · 09-16-2009, 10:14 AM

LOL (in delight). OG this is describing essentially what I do when working with white light. Sometimes I envision a funnel above my head and the white light flowing through, not to fill me but flowing through me so I can let it flow to others. Other times I can "see" and feel it surrounding me and other people. It is very healing, while both energizing and calming.

There are many ways of utilizing this. Thank you for sharing this one.

09-15-2009, 11:56 PM	#1
Goodgirl93 Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 880	Is it bad to remember these kinda things? Okay,so i ve had this thing for this guy since last october.we got so close that we were hanging out everynite.from like 10pm til 6 in the morning.we did everything together.he did/does have a girlfriend.but from mine and hers point of few we were just like brother and sister,well come to find,he likes me.He told me late may of this year.I got even more compfortable with him knowing he liked me,and like a snap of a finger,he was gone.a little argument between friends,he chose a side,and it wasn't mine.so basically not only did he turn his back on me,but he made me believe he wud leave his girlfriend,and we wud be together.is 18,almost 19,and I was 15 at the time,but now 16.but we lost touch in july.I haven't seen or heard him since.WHY DO I STILL THINK ABOUT HIM?WHY DO I MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY?IS IT WRONG FOR ME TO MISS HIM KNOWING HE TURNED HIS BACK ON ME? I've heard it all.from oh he's an ,you shudnt miss him.but no one understands me and his relationship.it was unlike any other and I would do anything to have that back.please...advice.has anyone gone thru this?

09-16-2009, 12:13 AM	#2
ThexMrs Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Oregon. Posts: 2,732 Blog Entries: 13	First of all... It was wrong for him to lead you on. For that, he is a dic. I agree with your friends. Second of all, if he had a girlfriend, why was he with you so much? For that, as his girlfriend, I would think he was a dic as well. (This isn't useful so far but bare with me) You had a bond with him, one that was like no other that you've ever had. That isn't something that is just going to go away. It will take time for you to move on from this and get past the hurt. You have to be strong. You've made it this far. I wouldn't say that he turned his back on you just because he didn't side with you. When it comes to friendship you should never force someone to take a side and then when it's not yours, stop being friends. That's not a real friendship. You have to understand each other and from there make the choice to be neutral if possible. If I may ask, what was this fight about? There is nothing wrong with missing him. That's natural whether or not you are angry with him for his choice. You created a bond, you had a connection as I said, that won't just go away. If you really feel that he turned his back on you though, why don't you sound upset about that? Do you see now that it's not what he did? Do you think that you may have forced him to do this? I really need more information to make a better assessment. If you know how to contact him, do it. Just write him an email (though he doesn't seem worth your time) and let him know how you feel. That you miss the friendship and want that but really... JUST THAT, the friendship. Anymore with him doesn't seem like a good idea. __________________ "I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart, I am never without it, anywhere I go, you go, my dear, And whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling." Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 09-16-2009 at 12:25 AM. Reason: no using to create a word filtered....*

09-16-2009, 12:22 AM	#3
Goodgirl93 Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 880	Okay,well he spent a lot of time with me because he was usally with his gf during thay day,and we hung out at nite.not always alone,with other friends as well.and I feel he has turned his back on me because he chose to stop talking to me.he changed his number,so I can't get a hold of him in any way.it sux.but its more of just to the fact that he didn't try to make the friendship work as much as I did after he admitted to liking me.I never did anything to push him away.never once did we fight.and the fight with the friend was because he started nasty rumors about me,so I told the guy I like that the a hole liked his gf.wich is honestly true.and the guy I like chose his side,instead of mine.wich hurt cause he barely knew my so called friend. Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 09-16-2009 at 12:26 AM. Reason: same, no using to get through the filter....*

09-16-2009, 12:32 AM	#4
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,917 Blog Entries: 7	I suspect because you were "so" close is why you miss him "so" much and that's natural. The guy started rumors about you, because he wanted this guy's woman, well he did it all the wrong way, because it backfired on him, your friend I assume is still with his girlfriend.. Guys are guys, it's almost like if they believe a woman at that age, over a mate, then all mates will call him a and basically he will have no friends.. Survival. But, I also tend to think that due to your age, non-consential and all that, I would imagine to where you live, that he chose to stay on the path he was on. Your problem is you don't have closure, you did nothing wrong and can't ever tell him again of those facts and prove them. Check facebook see if he's on there, check with a friend, of a friend, you can find him eventually and send him a letter as a "friend" and let him know once and for all you didn't lie. At least you can get closure even if he never replies and if he doesn't then he seriously isn't a friend you want in life is he. Sometimes, people come into our lives for a reason, and there are many reasons but usually we learn by it and grow.. This may have just been one of those situations.. The reasons why you met and were friends are no longer valid... There's no more purpose. I imagine he was your first crush too though and until you meet someone again, that you really like, he'll probably stay on your mind. Welcome to being a female. CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

09-16-2009, 02:03 AM	#6
dr.mansview Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: canada Posts: 1,061	perhaps his gf was jealous of your relationship with him and gave him an ultimatum __________________ a smart man learns from his mistakes..a wise man learns from the mistakes of others..

09-16-2009, 12:43 AM	#5
Goodgirl93 Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 880	Its not so much as he was my first crush,he was the first guy I had ever been sooooooo close to.I cud talk to him about everything.even talking about sex wasn't uncompfortable with him.and I am glad he chose to stay with his gf,because they have been together for a long time,and she is more his age.but why he had to end our friendship so harshly with not even a goodbye really bums me out.but as much as I want to be mad at him,I can't be.I just wish I could move on and forget about him.atleast I would have the good memories we had,instead of always dwelling on the bad ones.

09-16-2009, 02:28 AM	#7
Goodgirl93 Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 880	Honestly,I think she mite have.because we were good friends,then suddenly she stopped talking to me,then 2 months later,he did to.

09-16-2009, 06:27 AM	#8
GlitterAndStuds Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Snake Champion! Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 749 Blog Entries: 1	I know I didn't have a guy I was THAT close with when I was 15, unless he was my boyfriend. But even then, never anyone that I could see every single night and tell everything to. So it's definitely a big adjustment to go from seeing them all the time to not at all. I can understand that. Mrs. is right though, he should have thought more about what he was doing to you and his girlfriend. He got you really close to him then bailed as soon as things got hard. Plus he liked you while he had a girlfriend, which I think is very shady. I'm not saying this in a harsh way, but if I was his girlfriend, I would be really uncomfortable if my boyfriend was leaving me every day to go hang out with another girl at all hours of the night...every night. It's very possible that she didn't like it and let him know that, so that could be why he stopped seeing you. You probably still miss him because it sounds like you didn't get any closure. Exactly what CW said (read my mind, I was about to say it). There was a fight, you stopped talking, that was it... but nothing was ever resolved, and you haven't talked since then, so you didn't get to express how you feel. So you have 2 options. 1) Let it go and know that he made a choice. He's pretty much cut off contact with you, so that makes things difficult or 2) Find a way to message him, get everything off your chest..and again, let it go. It's much easier said than done, and he may never respond to you. But at least you'll feel better knowing that you won't regret keeping everything in. What you do is up to you. __________________ I've got to be direct If I'm off please correct You're standing on my neck....

09-16-2009, 10:14 AM	#10
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,230 Blog Entries: 5	LOL (in delight). OG this is describing essentially what I do when working with white light. Sometimes I envision a funnel above my head and the white light flowing through, not to fill me but flowing through me so I can let it flow to others. Other times I can "see" and feel it surrounding me and other people. It is very healing, while both energizing and calming. There are many ways of utilizing this. Thank you for sharing this one. __________________ We can only learn to love by loving. Iris Mudoch, British writer

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