MrDarcy

Hi girls,

Need your advice.

What does it mean when a girl says to you "I'm not ready yet" when you try and kiss her?

This is about the third time I've heard this from a girl.

Last night I was out on a second date with a girl who I think is pretty fantastic. As soon as I greeted her at the beginning of the date we immediately picked up where we left off from the first date. We held hands, we walked down the street with our arms around eachother. etc. etc.

I took her out to grab a quick bite to eat then we headed to a bar. We sat down in a very intimate fashion (very close) then started talking a bit. She was obviously having a great time and enjoyed the intimate tension that was going on. We then both looked into eachother's eyes so I went in for the kiss. She paused for a moment then said "I'm not ready yet" and turned her head away. Her face went bright red but she was smiling.

I slowly backed off but ensured it looked like it didn't phase me. Throughout the rest of the evening I still kept the intimacy going until we left the bar. We held hands as we left the venue and I walked her back to her car with our arms around eachother again.

So what does this mean? Am I over-thinking things and maybe expecting too much? This girl if definitely 'girlfriend material' because we get along really well. I could be wrong but I also think she is attracted to me because this was the second date and she wants to go out with me again.

Really confused.

Please help!

WildChild

My best guess is she read in some mag or book that it was best to let the tension build and not to move in to intimacy too quickly.

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CHANDLERS WISH

Girls, ladies don't want to feel that they are "easy".. You were intimate, you held hands, she had a couple of drinks and more than likely as she went red and smiled, she wanted to kiss you but if she did, would you have thought "that was easy"..

They want to differentiate a player to one whom actually likes her.. A small peck on the lips that lingers for a few seconds when saying goodbye ascertains if there is chemistry but it also shows the woman your respect and your not trying to lay her, yet...

Women are so used to players only they so want to not find another one..

She is purely, letting you know she is not easy, not going to sleep with you straight away and doesn't kiss people immediately rather refrains so you can see that she is a "nice girl"..

That's all.

The main key is if you think she's girlfriend material is to let her feel safe first....

Sounds like your on a winner.. Don't blow it, ready body language ...




CW

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caterpillar79

AMEN!

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PJhavinfunagain

I agree I think she likes you alot but does not want to be played. She is wanting to make sure the feelings you both have are real before taking it to the next level. Spend this time really getting to know each other. It will pay off in the end. Your connection and intamacy will be fabulous because you have built trust.

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Kallygirlie

I'm with CW on this one.

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Miya

CW called it correctly. Let her know you're not just out for a quick play (-p) and she'll feel safe and more secure. Words won't help too much but caring and genuineness will show through actions.

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Hopeless Dork

Barring some kind of germophobia, it might be one or a few of the following reasons a girl will prolong a first kiss:

1. Like the other posters have said, could be she read an article in cosmo somewhere that said no kissing til the 4th date and only if its after 5pm and he's wearin blue or something equally crazy.

2. She's just not that into you (yet). Some people don't respond to chemistry as quickly as others. Obviously you felt it if you went in for the kiss... either she's not feeling it or she's not the type of person that connects that quickly.

3. She's very very into you and is a passionate person and worried a kiss will lead to more and she would be powerless to your charms after that.. keeping it more safe and platonic is prolonging the passion, allowing for build it , etc.

4. She just got over a recent break up, IS into you, but not ready for something physical. Caution here if its the case, friend zone is a slippery slope.

5. Timing. If she is in the impress you phase of infactuation and you went in for the kiss after she just had a bbq anchovie chimichanga she might not want that kiss til she's more prepared

Those are some of the reasons I can think of why someone wouldn't kiss on a second date... the fact that she went out with you AGAIN.. indicates a spark of sorts so she just might be a turtle when it comes to making out, or just isn't sure she wants the relationship to take that direction at this time.

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sourpuss

She likes you and wants to make sure the feeling is mutual so she doesn't get played.

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MrDarcy

Many thanks to everyone who replied to my post.

These type of statements can drive a man crazy. It's really hard to read between the lines and all I want to do is work out where I stand with this person. She is a very special person.

That being said, I really hope I get to see her again. We are yet to arrange another date. I've known girls who have freaked out at the last minute and cancelled because they fear 'awkwardness' or 'too much pressure'.

I'll update this thread when I find out the latest.

Thanks again!