Thread: How long before you drop the L bomb?

Ooooh I remember how I worked myself into a tizzy once I realized I had fallen in love... and didn't know if it was okay to express that. I knew 5 months in that he owned my heart... he had been gaining it all along... at 3 months I felt so much for him but it grew and grew.

I didn't want to say it and scare him with the burden of it ... if he himself did not feel it, but I just longed to say the words. I wanted to tell him I loved him not because I wanted to hear it back (though that would be awesome was my line of thinking at the time lol), I just needed to say it.

I hemmed and hawed and then had the talk asking him how he felt about me and he said everything and anything except for that he loved me, so I didn't feel right to say it. But the weight was heavy on me and I realized... if he doesn't feel what I feel... wtf am I doing. I pulled back a bit and within the same week of that convo he said it. He held me tight and he said it... before I did -- and it was one of the best moments of my life.

You can't put a time table on saying I love you... the question is ... do you love him. If you do the next question is how important is it to you that he know this.

Saying it, puts your heart on the line and its scary, so scary...but if you say it when you feel it in your heart, when its about to burst because you have to let them know... then you say it. And if they are like me -- and were waiting on those very words -- its magic.

There isn't a designated time for when to say it. Some people say it after a couple of years, some a couple of days, it's all about how the relationship and their dynamic is.

I said it to my boyfriend after just a month, and it couldn't have been more awesome. I always thought it would be weird for anyone to say it that soon, but when you know, you know. I remember talking to my friend and she said something about him, so I was like "Aww I love him" in that really casual way without realizing it... and she asked "Do you?" and from that second I knew I did. So like HD said about her story, it was driving me crazy because I'm the kind of person who has to tell someone something like that.

I did the same thing, dancing around it and trying to kind of get into a conversation where he would say it first... because it IS freaky to put yourself out there and say it first. You're risking not hearing it back, which can make things awkward, etc. But we were lying in bed just talking one night, and I just looked at him and said "I kiinda love you" in a cute, goofy way. He just gives this big smiles and says "I Kiiiinda love you too". Turned out he was just waiting for me to say it first too, the big jerk.

So maybe your guy is doing the same thing. When the moment feels right and you can't hold it back anymore, then don't. When it gets to that moment where instead of saying you think you're in love with him, you actually know that you are in love with him.

there really isn't a set time frame for it. I started falling for my SO when we were just friends with benefits. It became really hard being utterly in love with a guy who would vent to you about how much he loved and missed his ex. About a month before we got together (had been Friends with benefits for about 7 months), he texted me and said "I love you". I didn't know how to take it. It's something we laugh about now but I sat on my back deck thinking, do I say it back, what if he didn't mean it that way, I dont want to say it and he run, was it just as a friend....ect. I freaked out, so I just responded back "I love you, LOL" We didn't say it again until about a month after we made it offical. Just go with the feelings. Throwing the L word out there is scary. He's already said he thinks he's falling for you so in a way he is the one that is verbally heading that way. If you feel it, i'd say it but just make sure its not a rebound thing. Make sure your heart isn't messing with you before you dive head first. Good luck hun

Everyone has said it well that there's really no time frame for saying that word. To me the action of my loved one mean so much more than any word he can say. People say I love you all the time and it doesn't really mean anything. Look at relationships and breakup when people said I love you one time then they're saying I hate you the next.

Let the actions come from both of you and one day one of you will say it spontaneously and it will have already happened.

Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre

If you truly love him, savor the feeling of knowing you love him. Keep it to yourself.

Savor it until he tells you he loves you.

Then tell him you feel the same way.

How special will that be?

Special. When boyfriend told me he loved me, he already knew I did. I showed it in how I treated him... how I looked at him, it was probably written all over my face. I don't think he took a risk in saying the words first. If I had said them first... being a worrier bee that I am , I would have wondered if he was saying them just to fill the awkward silence.

And prior to the I love you, he had said things like ... you have my heart, and I've fallen for you... and would sign his notes with 'love'... but all of that is different than the 3 words put together outloud.. in the air next to your ear.