Keep my hands to myself?

**ThexMrs** · 09-29-2009 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre

There is no such thing as too "hands on" if the woman is really into you.

Perhaps tone it down a bit early on.

I agree... My boyfriend is very touchy feely. Last night for example. I was sitting a few feet from him at first (I wasn't happy with him) and he grabbed me and pulled me into him. He was holding my hands. Then we laid down and he was cuddling me, playing with my hair, stroking my face, kissing my neck, my ears, my shoulder and then we started kissing. I was putty in his hands.

I LOVE THE AFFECTION.

As for PDA... I don't mind as long as it's not a full on make-out session. My ex was very PDA. He always had to be touching me no matter where we were. Under the table, hands on my thigh, holding my hand across the table, kissing me. It was so sweet.

So, I'm a girl that's up for it anywhere, anytime... I don't care.

**Texinator** · 09-29-2009 11:39 PM

Ah, see, I was a bit confused because I often hear women complain about a lack of affection from their boyfriend or husband. So I wondered why my approach hasn't been more appreciated. But if many also receive physical affection mostly only when significant other is interested in sex, it makes sense that my approach might cause apprehension even among the women that aren't cold fish.

kiwicute, you bring up a good point about asking them to initiate, and I have done that in the past, but the ones that thought I'm too touchy feely also weren't too interested in starting any touching either. I guess there could be different reasons, but if some have been conditioned to think that physical affection has to lead to sex, I understand things better now.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-30-2009 12:00 AM

Just view even the sex forum Tex of guys saying, " I give her roses, run a bath for her, pamper her everything and they still don't want sex why?"...

That's why

CW

**WildChild** · 09-30-2009 12:12 AM

Sometimes we all need affection and caring with nothing expected of us. We each have different ways that we understand or feel that. For some men it might be a batch of brownies waiting when you come in from work, but for most women it's just being held or cuddled and not many of us seem to get it.

**Miya** · 09-30-2009 06:41 AM

Ok so I'm a late poster to this but better late than never.

I love the affection and am very touchy/feely/cuddly and love that my DH is that way too. WC is right too in that sometimes it's nice to just be held and loved without expecting it to go to sex. I know there are times when guys just don't feel like having sex and the same goes for us but it's sure nice at those times to just get a hug/kiss/hold from the person you love.

**Benton** · 09-30-2009 07:09 AM

Originally Posted by mdraven

I like a lot of affection and attecntion. But that's just me. And I would only want that from my significant other of course not just from anyone.
Funny how I always end up with the guys that are affectionate at first then two months down the line they rarely show affection or attention and then start telling me that I'm to needy.
Everyone is different.

Yup that's true ...
there are different kinds of people . Good thing we need to do is accepting every character openly.

**GlitterAndStuds** · 09-30-2009 07:54 AM

I'm VERY late on this, but I'll agree that it's all about personal preference, I think. Some people just like their space more than others. But I'll also agree with OTYA and Mrs. that when you're really into someone, it shouldn't be an issue.

I, for one, can't get enough of my boyfriend. I'm not too big on the PDA and neither is he... some hand holding and maybe walking with an arm around each other is as far as we go. But during alone time, we just always want to be around each other, touching each other, everything. Granted, I have my days where I don't want it.. like when it's way too hot in the room or something, and the idea of another person in my bubble makes me nauseous, haha.

It all depends on how the touchy person goes about it though. A guy friend of mine is very personable, and just likes contact. For instance, when he's talking to someone, he'll touch their arm or their leg for a second or something. It's well intentioned, but plenty of people will say it comes off as creepy. If a girl doesn't know your intentions, that could be why it comes across as too much. If it's early into the relationship, you should ease into it.

**Texinator** · 09-30-2009 10:25 AM

Thanks for all the help. This has been one of those 'Oh, now I get it' moments.

It makes sense that not everybody has the same preference in regard to physical affection and that some might have difficulties expressing their emotions in general. But until now I've never thought about the possibility of women also being apprehensive possibly because some men become affectionate only when they are interested in sex.

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