jaygirlweek96

Actually, this happened last sunday, but I thot I would just share. I had already PM some WH friends whe it happened.
I recently had a post about my ex, who I split up with cos he kept saying he wasn't mentally ready to marry, he felt I was presurrizing him, blablabla, after two years of dating!

Few days after we called it quits again, he called and said he wanted us to talk and we ended up spending the night together. He said he wanted us to get back togther, but still not ready to commit
. He kept apologising, saying he was confused, needed more time and all.
That morning, he used my laptop to open a mail.
When he was done, I collected the laptop, his box still open. I know I shouldn't have, but I saw a mail from him to his bestfriend.
I opened it. His friend has been dating a gril for two years and was telling my ex that he wanted to marry her,
But wanted to wait a year so he could make more money. Here is the reply my ex sent:

I think you should marry trish if u love her.
I always wish I was still with charlotte (his ex).
I would have married her whether I had money or not.
If u guys really love each other you should get married.
There is no point waiting


I was so heartbroken when I saw this that I broke into tears. This is someone who had told me the night before that I was the best thing that happened to him.
And here he was telling his friend that he wishes he was still with his ex.
I started crying and asked him to explain.
He stood up and started shouting on me, asking me why I read his mails, and said he was leaving.
I was so confused and started begging. He walked out on me, left me there crying.

After he left, it was like my whole world came crashing down! I had dated this guy for two years, and all he could do was wish he never left his ex?
Funny enough, his ex left him for the same reason! He dated her for four years, and told her he loved her with all his soul, but wasn't ready to make the decision.
She is happily married to someone else with a child now. I cried and cried, but later picked myself up.
He has been calling, whixh I ignored, then started texting me saying I misunderstood the mail, and I was wrong in the first place for checking his mail.
He forgot when I used to stay up late nights, helping him send all his work related emails from his box, while he slept because he was 'tired' When I refused to reply,
He began professing love again. Anyway I am done. I am slowly picking up the pieces of my life which I wrapped around him for two years.
I don't take his calls, I don't repy his texts, I just need to move on with my life!

OhThereYouAre

And stand your ground.

There are plenty of guys out there.

Good luck.

__________________
'If you think you can or you can't, you're probably right..."

"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit..."

"People who lack the sense to question Big Lies always end up in deep trouble..."

"I don't worry about pointing fingers in the past...i operate under the assumption that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future..."

"Build the life you want and then find someone to share it with, someone who fits where you are and where you are going..."

WildChild

Wow, so you had a two year learning experience. Say thank you for that and move on. Sounds like he is one of those people who always wants what they don't have. My first husband was like that, the entire time we were married he was mooning over his ex gf (whom he'd dated a couple of months) or having affairs. Once I left, I became the great lost love of his life. He simply never wanted what he had, consider yourself fortunate to be out of that situation.

Give yourself time to heal. What are some things you'd like to learn or try? Get out and do them! Marriage should be natural step in a strong, healthy relationship, not a goal, so don't worry about that. Just get out and become to best you, you can be.

__________________
We can only learn to love by loving.

Iris Mudoch, British writer

WildChild

Oh and never beg. Ever.

__________________
We can only learn to love by loving.

Iris Mudoch, British writer

AloneNtheCrowd

Good for You! He must have been just wasting your time! Stay strong, you don't need him, one day he'll realize what he had all along and should have been focused on you instead of obessing over some ex! Ignore him, you are doing the right thing!

caterpillar79

You are on the right track, hun. Keep your ground, and be steadfast. Should you need to vent, you know where to find us.

__________________
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain.

kms

hm. You obviously know the situation better than any of us, and it seems he certainly has a pattern of being afraid of commitment.... and taking advantage of you...

With that being said though, based on this particular instance alone, I don't think what he said was disastrous or the end of a relationship... it's completely possible to love someone, make a mistake, lose that person, and then move on and love someone else... while still valuing the relationship with that person and still holding regrets for past mistakes. You can't change the fact that he loved someone before you and regretted losing that - he can't change that either.

Further, he may have said that to help support his friend without wanting to give him a lot of unnecessary details about how he regretted not marrying her but it's ok because he found you and you're great, blah blah - that takes away from the point he's trying to make. That email was intended for his friend, and he had a certain point he was trying to emphasize. If the email were intended for you, he would have been sure to explain everything fully.

Anyway, that's just my 2 cents on this particular situation. I don't think it's a deal breaker - at all. But given that there are probably a lot of other things contributing to this situation, this may have been the last straw.