mdraven

When I was with my ex at first he had all of his ex's on his myspace and I told him that I wasn't going to be part of his harem. I felt like he was saving their profiles for a backup plan, and like I was just another notch in his belt. I might be insecure but I have never been with a guy that I can trust in the first place so now I'm extra cautious.
I don't want to have to compete with another woman or anyone or anything else the next time I get into a relationship. I always lose anyway no matter what I do or don't do.

Little

I have all my exes except the most recent (at his decision) on facebook and myspace if applicable. I'm on them all the time and consider them the place to give big info ... I don't text/call people when I get a new job, promotion, if I were to get pregnant or engaged ... facebook.
That's not to say I'm chatting with them all day, but they are people I was extremely close with at one time, all of whom I've been broken up with for years. I assume they use facebook/myspace in the same way as I do ... to keep people posted. When one moves to the other side of the world, when another finally gets his EAS from the USMC. In a healthy relationship, I think it's okay to be friends with your exes ... in real life and otherwise. I'm not interested in getting back with any of them, new relationship or no new relationship.

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confusedbyhim

I do appreciate all of the input. I really have been through so much and at this point when I confront him it is like he tries to turn it around on me...that I am insecure that he isn't doing anything and what business it is of mine. Then he says after all we aer not in a relationship and that he can do whatever he wants. However he gets jealous of anyone I talk to and tries to help me when things get tough and then we spend a lot of time together. I guess I am really confused. he says he doesn't want a relationship, things go great and when they are at their best then he starts to screw up and back off and act stupid.

GlitterAndStuds

I agree with Little. I have a few of my exes on my Facebook friends as well, but I couldn't tell you the last time I actually talked to any of them. They're all from years ago and it's water under the bridge at this point... no hard feelings at all... and my boyfriend never thinks twice about it. He used to have his (psycho) ex girlfriend on his list from back when they were together, but she's not even on there anymore.

I could easily delete my exes, and if it made him uncomfortable enough I would. I mean, it's an internet site, not the center of the universe. That's one thing I can't stand about these personal networking sites (even though I'm a member of a couple) is that some people tend to let their whole lives revolve around tha website. A little weird to me. Anyway, it's true that Facebook friends are just people that you want to keep in the loop a little bit.

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GlitterAndStuds

BAH, I left this part out. Regarding the guy that you are asking about Confused - I again agree with everyone and say to get rid of him. It's easier said than done when you care about someone, but he seems to have a very negative effect on your life. By getting all annoyed with you, but then getting jealous over the same stuff.. he's just using double standards to get his way. I think you need to let him go do his thing, you do yours.... forget him. He doesn't sound too worth it to me.

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confusedbyhim

I do agree with all of you. I think the bottom line is that I want a relationship and he doesn't. Then I respect his wishes and don't call or go around and then he comes around. He says he can't have commitment but yet we spend every waking moment together....then all of a sudden he pulls back like something goes wrong. I just don't get it. I am struggling with this situation. the thing is I guess I start getting my hopes up when things go well and it seems like we are getting somewhere and then all of a sudden it's like straight south. The facebook thing is one of many things. I have a hard time letting him go cause him and I have become best friends also. I am the ONLY woman he has ever confided in and one of the only people that he tells everything to. I just feel under valued and unappreciated. I am in love with him but I am hurting so bad.....I mean everytime he does this it is 1 more jab and it breaks me.

Kallygirlie

ok hold on, now I'm confused. First you said you have been together for 3 yrs. Even your other post you said he is your bf but now you say that you aren't. that he's told you he doesn't want a relationship. Sounds like you want to be with him but he pushing you away. weather he comes around or not, if you aren't together then you aren't together. If he had half the planet on his face book and still declines you, it should tell you something. You are getting jealous over a guy you aren't with. someone who is obviously playing games with you. A guy that leaves then comes back, leaves then come back is not worth the wait. You need to take this a a sign of how he really feels.

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confusedbyhim

He tells me he wants to be with me but that now is not the time. He invites me over to be with his friends and family and confides in me for everything. Tells me he doesn't want to lose me. Things go great we go to the movies, dinner, riding horses everything together but then he all of a sudden pulls away. Then when I question him on things like facebook, then he says but I don't want a relationship and I have been clear with you. This is his most recent excuse. But then it is like he starts looking for me and says he has strong feelings and wants to do everything together etc.....I am confused. WE have been togother for 3 yrs everything was fine up until last year and that i swhen this started.

CHANDLERS WISH

If you allow someone to control your life, the way "they want it" and do nothing about it, nothing will get done.

3 years is a long time for you to be wasting.... what ever happened a year ago, or last year broke the mould, whilst he keeps you there because 1) your a friend a good one, 2) he has fun with you, 3) there's no commitment and who knows what he's doing on the days he's not with you....

It's simple, he commits and shares all of his life regardless of your in-securities, he can delete messages on facebook if you say something that's well, not acceptable, or he doesn't commit in which case, "your busy" when he wants to do something and start working on heeling and finding someone who will.

CW

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AlleyWay

Bestfriends don't hurt one another consistently. This guy is really getting his cake and eating it too. One day your up and the next day your down. That doesn't sound like a bestfriend to me. You don't go around hurting him so why is he doing it to you? You deserve a guy who cares about your feelings. Sometimes the best thing to do can be the hardest thing to do.