uta

My boyfriend and I had plans to go to a movie and spend the weekend together. On Wednesday he says "this weekend I'm going fishing". Well I was speechless and upset so I just got up and left. When I got home few hours later I called him. He said I need to relax when I talk to him and not storm out. I reminded him of our plans for the weekend needless to say he hadn't a clue they existed. He said he doesnt remember making them. So I called him a choic name and hung up. Today Monday I caved and called him. He sounded upset. He was DISAPPOINTED that I swore at him and hung up on him. He didn't consider my feelings or even care why I got so upset at him in the first place. Then he says he does remember now saying we would go to a movie but not spending the weekend together. This is the second time this has happened. (we hav been dating 2 mths) Then I said i get the picture. I think he's getting scared and wants out. What do you ladies think is going on? What should I do kick him to the curb? Did I mention he lives with his mom.

CHANDLERS WISH

Ahh uta, the joys of learning the basics of men, and visa versa, them learning the basics of us, as women.

How old is he? You say he lives with his Mum...

Basically, his mates asked him to go fishing, you should have calmly stated to him, "that's fine, we can always go to the movies, I may have a girly weekend then".. It really isn't that a big deal is it? Certainly he should have said, I know we were going to do a few things this weekend but, the guys are going fishing do you mind?

So point that out to him.

See, the first scenario is how he views it, you two are together, there will always be a movie but men can be in-sensitive and non-understanding that women have so many emotions and if the second scenario isn't "asked" to which you would have to accept because otherwise he would never ask again, then emotionally you feel rejected.

It's called communication.

Ask him next time to "ask" you if your okay with it and that he'd like to go and assure him that it will be fine you just prefer to be respected not told as you were looking forward to the alternative plans.

Hanging up, calling him choice words, is not the answer... It's not going to win you points or make him realise, again, it's called communication... You need to let him know that you were looking forward to it but you understand that these things come up, communication.

Don't be a demanding girlfriend, with attitude because yes, he will get the picture, that is that your demanding with attitude and he will find someone else that he doesn't have to worry about talking to about things he wants to do... He probably stated "I'm going fishing" knowing that if he "asked" you'd have a fit.

See the difference in how you could have handled it? And ,how he may have reacted? Verses what happened?

CW

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Hopeless Dork

You were hurt and stormed out - he was in the wrong forgetting ur plans yet u were the one to call him to talk.

U called him a name days went by and then u were again the one to call to smooth it out.

He forgets plans convienently twice and is making no effort to make u feel better.

I say leave him alone a while let him make next contact and if he doesn't -- what are u losing? A flaky guy that doesn't seem to care.

What are some things he does that make u feel special?

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Mes_T

I agree that in any case, you might want to step back and let him contact YOU when he's ready.

I try to do this with my boyfriend... If I realize I've texted him or whatever a bit much one day, the next day I'll take it easy.

dr.mansview

have you ever spent the weekend together? if yes then perhaps he has forgotten, but unlikely if he has forgotten twice..if you have never spent the weekend together, and he told you he was going to, he would not forget telling you that..in that case he has lost interest in you..yes, kick him to the curb

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caterpillar79

Red flags all over the place...beware.

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GlitterAndStuds

I hate to be blunt, but I agree with everyone else who said to be careful. Guys who really want to spend time with you don't "forget" plans they make with you, no matter how small.

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happy ending

i would have to agree, he sounds a bit immature and uncaring to me.

OhThereYouAre

Yep- red flags.

It'll only get worse.

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caterpillar79

This guy, based on your description, only cares about having a girl to spend his spare time with.

When he is with you, he might feel good being around you , hence he "plans" something for both of you to look forward to...yet, once you're not there with him, he has other plans, he forgets about you. Sorry to say : "out-of-sight, out-of-mind" tends to best describe his behavior.

Definitely NOT the kind of man I would even consider seeing. Word of honor is very important. and it is hard to fins that these days.

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