MrDarcy

Ok, I'll get straight to the point.

Basically, I started seeing this girl a few months ago and decided last weekend to tell my parents about her.

I come from a "well off" family in that we're not super rich but not far off either. My girlfriend does NOT come from a wealthy family and this really annoyed my parents. I think it has always been my parents dream that I end up with a girl who has a similar background.

This girl and I have really hit it off and we're now in a serious relationship. I've introduced her to my friends (who think she's a real catch) but yet to introduce her to my parents. I know if I do it will be very awkward.

My parents aren't being superficial, they're just being protective and cautious. Is there anyway I can convince them to meet this girl and get on with her?

Exactly how do I manage this problem????

pinksocks

Well, for one discussing how the girl has affected you in person shall do the trick. Inviting them for a coffee [not at your home] with your girl will also not hurt. It is just a matter of time and they will come to terms with it.

I also feel parents get worked up because they have seen our choices in the past, they dont want us to make the same mistakes twice.

Cheers,
Pinksocks!

CHANDLERS WISH

Hi Darcy.

Your such a romantic huh!!!! Glad you've moved on and found someone else.

Can I though say "it's early days", I know your all excited and feel special and everythings great but as time goes by, your parents will warm to her.. They are just concerned, probably not so much on the money trail, rather, your a romantic and love is what you do best.

There's no rush. Just tell your parents you understand their concern, this is a girlfriend, that your introducing to them, not a Fiance for future marriage and ask them to trust your instinct and meet her, just as she is, a girlfriend... What the future holds is a completely different story after all isn't it?

If you end up together, as "marriage" goes, they would have had along time to get to know her and warm to her.

As horrid as this sounds " It's just a girlfriend Mum/Dad, I'm not introducing my Fiance", so give the girl a go and see what you think, time will tell on all other notes.

CW

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MrDarcy

Why thank-you CW!

Funnily enough, it's the same girl I talked about in my previous posts! I finally won her over with my charms and now she can't get enough of me (in more ways than one).

The key points I've taken away from the responses is;

1. Tell the parents you understand their concern.
2. Give them the impression you're not marrying the girl. She's just a girlfriend at this stage.
3. Over time, the parents will eventually warm to her (if she's a genuinely caring person and has your best interests at heart).
4. Don't get caught having sex with her on the hood of your Dad's car.
5. Take things slow.

Would be interested to hear other girls experiences in situations like this.

Thanks!

GlitterAndStuds

Haha you're too funny! I'm happy for you finding someone that you get along so well with.

How long have you been dating her now, a month or so? I do agree that if you reassure your parents that there's no need to get worked up and that it's still new to you, they might chill a little bit. I can always understand parents' concern, but in the end, it's YOUR relationship. In time, once they see how happy she makes you and what a doll she is, I'm sure they will be okay.

No one says you have to introduce her right away either. That's your call, but I know I didn't meet my boyfriend's parents until maybe 5 months later. I just thought it would be a better idea for us to get to know each other first before bringing family into it. Not to mention, I'm ALWAYS nervous to meet a guy's parents but they love me, and I think they're great.

If it's really just them looking out for your well being, they just need reassurance that you will be okay. Good luck!

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WildChild

Sounds like your list pretty well covers it. You've wanted her for a long time and gone through quite a lot to get to this point, do give yourself time to be certain that this change of attitude and heart on her part is lasting. You als oneed time to be certain now that the chase is over, that you will want her for the long term.

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OhThereYouAre

Wow...I thought we were past those times.

While my family and my fiance's family are different in terms of finances, we are very similar in terms of morals and values.

And that's all that should matter.

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ThexMrs

Lol... Bingo! What do we have for him Johnny?

You know, I went through the same thing except I was the girlfriend. It totally sucked... He decided to feel them out and talked about me as if I were a friend and not his girlfriend. What ended up happening is that after he mentioned my religious beliefs they started bad mouthing me. I never got to meet them and when he was in their presence, he wouldn't answer my calls in case they asked him who he was talking to. Obviously, that relationship ended.

I think that they need to except her for who she is as long as she is loving, kind, good to you and a good person in general. I'm sure if she is all that you say she is, they'll warm up to her in time.

Best wishes.

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Gee

I say you should try mentioning the good things about her first.Try to do so naturally not like "i have a statement here".Like to mention how she changed you to a better man,or how you two has so much in common...same dreams...same ambition.Your parents are being practical,so go practical and talk about why you think this girl is the one for you (apart from emotions).I think they can be convinced this way...If you made sense to them,I'm sure all will go well goodluck!