SomiticPic, you know me, straight shooter.
Here is what I see.
Women do love the bad boy and the lost souls and that we are saviours and that we can save them, only Judges make them "make time" longer than we want... It's not his fault, he was abused, used, lost, a good soul and you know what probably that's true.
But, your ex, was abusive and as such, you only "our brain only" remembers the better person and that was Nate and as such, you reminise and fall in love all over again with that person.
Nate, has nothing. But, time..... He will give you all the words a woman can ever desire, it's his fantasy world, he has someone, thank goodness, he is not alone and so you are needed, wanted, loved, cherished, all the things woman want.
Baby girl, you are someone I admire, someone I have answered alot to, someone I want to take to the next level,.
He is not an inmate you fell in love with, he is "now an inmate" that you previously feel in love with, had a rotten relationship in between and therefore, fell again, because he is all you know as the "love goes"...
I know what I want to say to you but not yet
Remember though the above, you are his saviour now just like you thought, but friends can save each other, be there.
You can't change the 10 years.
But, more importantly, you off course like every other woman will reminise on the one that treated you right and if he lets you back in? Then you are happy., and dream.
What I want you to take from this post, is that, you JUST picked THE WRONG man, that's all.
Nate is out there, don't close your eyes, he has a different name, ......
Your feeling lost and then you were found and it feels beautiful...
If I am wrong, then I will accept that. But, what I want you to do, is try, meet lots of guys, go on dates, Oklahoma is small but it can happen and just see, if it was the makeup of Nate, you loved...... The makeup.
You have the bestest heart one that's true and shining... Don't stop that, but don't stop living either. You have to "see" if it is Nate, or the nature of him and therefore, in someone else....
You owe that part to yourself.