Help please!
I am an 18 year old girl, I'll be 19 in 3 months time. I had a "normal" life, student, lots of friends (1500 on fb lol), steady boyfriend etc. Than I met HIM! He is soooo clever, qute, gentle, strong, sexy... and 45!
Doesn't look it though, he looks at least 10 years younger, lol. He is a true gent and great lover, although we didn't have full penetrative sex yet, but I can tell. If he wanted to, he could have had it by now cause when he starts touching me I only want more. He treats me like I am the most important person on the planet. He loves being with me, talking, walking, anything, he says I am amazing. I think he is amazing.
But my community is old fashionned, my friends would be shocked and my parents would kill me if they knew. We have no future, I can't take him clubbing or even walk down the high street with him. I can't introduce him to anyone and it can't last. Or can it?
I am on holidays at the moment and by the time I am back in England, I will have to decide what to do. My head says dump him, but my heart says I am falling for him big time and I am scared.
Can someone talk some sense into me because I feel like a silly 13 year old. Please?
At your age the difference is huge. A man of 45 is more than old enough to be your father and yes, most people in western cultures will look in askance at that. Ask yourself why would a man of that age want to be with you? You should be getting your education and spreading your wings to embrace more of life. He may be a wonderful episode but I doubt very much that this has much future.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Girl you need to dump him. I too dated an older guy when I was well in my 30's. It is an ego trip for them. He may get controlling, very jealous wanting to know your every move. Your head is giving you the proper advice. You need to trust yourself and dump him. You have so much to experience. Don't get so involved yet. Go see the world or whatever you want to do, do it. Do it before you get so involved with this guy. He's taking one last kick at the can so to speak. Please trust yourself.
Thanks for such a quick and helpfull replay. You both talk sense and I know it. And if I had sense I would not even be in this position. And is probably what I should do. Almost definatelly.
But there is something inside me that screams to tell you that you don't know how great he is. I don't know if one is supose to post pictures on this forum, but he is really qute. And sexy. Please don't imagine him fat and bold please lol. And he has a wicked smile, and a firm body. He used to be an amatuer rugby player, strong arms lol. He is a dream. He is THE dream.
So what if it doesn't last? So what if it's couple of years? I feel great being with him and it feels great being with him. So why does it feel so wrong? Is age really THAT important?
He is not jealous at all, he doesn't mind me going out with friends and/or my boyfriend. He even knows I still have sex with my boyfriend. Which is lousy btw lol. Never had an O unless I did it myself. This guy, John could change that in five minutes lol.Originally Posted by uta
Sorry, I was out with my cousins (girls only lol), we had couple of drinks. I am not usualy this open
I would really like to hear as many opinions as possible. I have a week to make up my mind and I need your help. PLEASE
Next you are going to tell me that you are 45 and great, right?
I did, so I asked him. He said, and I quote word by word, because I can still hear him say, that I am "the most amazing person he met in years".
I think you're more infatuated with him and loving the thrill of being with an older man who knows what he's doing. I can't blame you, these guys have a lot more experience, and it helps when they're hot.
To me, if you have to question it this much, then deep down you know it's something you shouldn't be involved in. First, about the age difference. Second, you're cheating on your boyfriend.
I know you like him, and I'm sure he's great, but just like WC said... you have to wonder why a man that age wants to be with someone who's barely legal. In most cases, it's an ego thing for them and it makes them feel younger again. I'm not saying it is with yours, but with many, it is.
If you see it as just a fun thing and not something that will last and you're okay with it, then maybe it's not such a problem. But don't continue it while you have a boyfriend and sleep with both of them. That's not fair to anyone. He may be okay with it, but I doubt your boyfriend would be. Whatever your decision is, tread carefully.
I've got to be direct
If I'm off please correct
You're standing on my neck....
G&S is right it does appear you are infatuated with him.
The balance of probablity in western society is not in your favour.
You may be well suited now but when you want kids in 10 years he will want to put his feet up and chill
You're young and hot he's considered and mature. Enjoy it as a temporary thing, learn from him (sex, attitude to life and contentment), then you can both move on as friends and say it was good but it's time to move on.
Unfortunatly I think you are in too deep emotionally already to look at it like this.
I think you have already decided to go through with it you just want some support. No one hear is going to judge you. They will be help if you go through with it if you get burned. Good luck either way
PS I am dead jealous of him and I am way off 45
First of all thanks GlitterAndStuds. I really value thoughtful opinions like yours.
Never knew the difference between "infatuated" and "in love".
I agree on both counts. I know I shouldn't be involved. But I question it so much because it feels almost unreal that something so beautiful can be considered so bad by everyone else.
To me, if you have to question it this much, then deep down you know it's something you shouldn't be involved in. First, about the age difference. Second, you're cheating on your boyfriend.
As for the boyfriend it occurred to me I didn't think about him once. May be I should dump him instead
As mentioned before he said that I am "the most amazing person he met in years". Like many, I too had boys saying all sort of things just to get into my knickers. He seems genuine but I appreciate that he could simply be a better liar, lol. As for the ego, yes, it is possible and about making him feel younger he actually said something like that, like he feels younger and full of life when he is with me. But is this bad? He gives me so much, where is the sin if gets something back? Even I feel younger, like I am 13I know you like him, and I'm sure he's great, but just like WC said... you have to wonder why a man that age wants to be with someone who's barely legal. In most cases, it's an ego thing for them and it makes them feel younger again. I'm not saying it is with yours, but with many, it is.
This is it the bit where I don't know what to say. Why would it be sooooo bad if we spent say a year together and had great time. Even if we have to hide like criminals or something. The thought of me going back to my "normal" life feels so boring now.If you see it as just a fun thing and not something that will last and you're okay with it, then maybe it's not such a problem. But don't continue it while you have a boyfriend and sleep with both of them. That's not fair to anyone. He may be okay with it, but I doubt your boyfriend would be. Whatever your decision is, tread carefully.
Posting Permissions
LinkBack URL
About LinkBacks
Bookmarks