Need a woman's opinion

**help!** · 01-04-2010 01:16 AM

I met this girl on halloween, total sweetheart and drop dead gorgeous. We've hung out a few times and see each other every thursday at the local bar. We flirt alot and we both tell each other we're into each other. She went as far as telling me she loves me and cant live without me. The weird thing about her is that when I text her she will only reply to certain texts and then sometimes she will just ignore them all together. Not to mention that its rare that we see each other.

I asked her whats up with her constant ignoring of texts and she told me she has home problems with her dad and her past boyfriends either cheated on her or treated her badly. After telling her that I'm not her past boyfriends and proving to her that I wouldn't do her like that and I would be an idiot to leave her, she continues to be distant.

Tonight she asked me if i wanted to grab some dinner and of course I said yes, but then didnt hear from her until 10:30pm when she texted me saying she was upset and has to get out of her house, which she then asks if she can come to my house. I say yes of course and then I don't hear from her for the rest of the night.

Here's what I know: she tells me she loves me, she tells me she cant be without me, she tells me she knows im exactly what is best for her, but It seems like she never wants to see me. Her words and actions are conflicting.

I really have no idea how to handle this situation and any help you ladies can give me would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-04-2010 01:32 AM

Lordy? I don't know either... that's just kind of spooky weird if you ask me.

Are you sure she really has issues at home? It seems to me that she's "leading you on", or has serious, serious problems, one of the two.

Have you ever been to her place?

Do you know some of her friends?

Can anyone confirm to you what she is feeding you, information wise?

Besides all of that, regardless that she is drop dead gorgeous

Do you really want to start a relationship anyway with a woman who doesn't know what she wants out of life, professes love when she's not even in a relationship with you, invites herself over and doesn't turn up, invites you for tea and leaves you strandard?

Imagine the next few months.....

CW

**help!** · 01-04-2010 01:36 AM

haha...I know right?

Yes I have been to her place.

I know alot of her friends and when i dont know one of them she comes and grabs meto introduce me to them.

Her best friend always tells me she loves me and wants me.

You can imagine how confused I am

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-04-2010 02:07 AM

lol's um yessum

So, I gather she is young? You guys are young?

Hun, there is a reason why her past relationships have failed, I can see (3) right now

All I can say to you is this....

Materialistic! Na...

Inner person? Yep.

Up to you on what I said above, and wait for others to reply but ask her to go out with you "steady", in a relationship and tell her, next time she lets you down, sorry sweet but you have to text me, to let me know if you can't make it.

You can say it nicely....

But you don't deserve to be treated like carp either huh.

CW

**WildChild** · 01-04-2010 06:44 AM

To put very simply, she sounds like a flake.

**Hopeless Dork** · 01-04-2010 09:19 AM

Sounds like to me you are setting yourself up for a starring role in this girls drama filled exsistence. The cryptic nature of her texts, etc... to me are a bit staged. I could just be jaded by having friends that would do this sort of thing for attention and what not.

If you really like her, hang in there... but don't try to fix her. Only she can do this. Some girls are looking for a savior and generally the ones that are... are not satisfied when they find one its a process that must continue so when one dramatic episode ends, another must be created to keep chaos front and center.

**sourpuss** · 01-04-2010 09:29 AM

If you do stick around and eventually win her over, just remember that the way she is now is the way she'll be in a relationship. It may not be so bad now, maybe even an exciting chase, but imagine if she were acting like that and she was your girlfriend!

Also realize that you're allowing her to treat you this way. Don't text her anymore. If you want to meet her somewhere, call her and leave a message and don't respond every time she texts you. Texting is awful in a lot of ways because people can be ignored or played with so easily. It's a power thing IMO, when people intentionally ignore texts or do what she's doing. It's flaky too.

**help!** · 01-04-2010 09:36 AM

I care about her alot. The last thing I want to do is just say F it and walk away from her. Not only because I'd love to see where her and i can go, but also because i don't want to be just another guy who walked out of her life. At the very least I would be her friend forever.

She tells me she's scared, scared that she will be with me and I will leave her. Even though the truth is, i would be the luckiest man alive to be able to be with her for as long as possible.

I know she loves me. I just want to take the relationship up a notch or 10.

**Hopeless Dork** · 01-04-2010 09:38 AM

Well it sounds like the love bug has already bitten you and you in for the ride. Just buckle up and wear a helmet. Good luck to you both.

**KMonte85** · 01-04-2010 10:01 AM

she sounds flighty, and full to the brim with baggage. If this is something you think you can deal with, then keep seeing her. But tread carefully as she seems to be quite the flight risk.

You should be more firm with her regarding how she's been treating you. Asking you if she can come by and then never show? Flaking on dinner plans? Ignoring your texts? No, not acceptable. If she had some sort of problem at home and can't make it, then she needs to tell you asap. Texts take a matter of seconds to make and send. It's not asking too much.

If she loves you and can't live without you like she says she does, then she needs to just calm down and act like it. Make her aware that her flaking out on you all the time is not helping in your attempt to grow closer to her. BUT you should also be aware that it is very possible that this is just the type of person she is and you can either like it or lump it.

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