I think I am jealous of my boyfriend's first love
So my boyfriend has told me about his ex and first love before. They dated over 20 years ago, she was a few years younger than he was. He thought they would be together forever. Still to this day whenever we see Kirsty Alley (in her good days!) in a movie, he comments on how his sister compared his girlfriend to her, and how attractive she was. He also still has pictures of her in his old photo albums.
Today he played a trick on me that he has told me before she used to play on him, and my blood absolutely boiled. I texted him "ah, the old ex girlfriend trick *laughing face*" and he never responded - which is unusual for him.
I am not sure what to expect or how to act when I get home. I regretted the text as soon as I sent it. Am I overreacting? Should I be mad? Should I be surprised if HE is mad? I am not usually an overly jealous person.
It would depend on some more info to determain if you are overreacting. How often does he bring her up into conversation? How long has it been since he has seen her or been around her... how long have the 2 of you been together?
Does he ever compare anything you do or say directly to her? Does he keep the pictures of her in a prominant place... or even a special location? Or are they mixed in with a bunch of old pics from the era he was with her?
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
Once in a blue moon..Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork
Perhaps 15 years, but I noticed as soon as he got Facebook she was the first name he searched.
Nearly 6 years
No
They are in an old photo album from his childhood, teenage years and 20's (he's in his 40's now).
Wow... maybe I am overreacting...
You probably have nothing to worry about, but it wouldn't hurt to let him know that you don't really want to hear anything about his ex. Gently let him know that it makes you feel uncomfortable. He's probably just oblivious to how it makes you feel.
I know where you're coming from, I'm the same way!
I am glad you were able to come to that conclusion all on your own. I think you have no reason to be worried and thus upset by a random mention if its rare.
Him looking for her on facebook is probably what stirred up these feelings... but it was likely curiousity. If its been 15 years, it would be interesting to see what happened to someone, what they look like if they had 5 kids, got that job they always dreamed of etc...
As long as he isn't obsessing over her, putting her on some sort of pedastal and making you feel less than her... old pics grouped with other old pics, the rare mention, not seeing her for all those years, that all is signs to me of someone who is over it.
I think its hard sometimes to imagine the man you love so much loving someone else. You likely loved someone else before him, even if it was just a middle school crush... its life. She had a peice of his past... You have the here and now as well as the future
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
I agree with what everyone else said. You don't have anything to worry about, but you should mention that you don't like that he brings her up. Apologize for the text, but let him know how you feel. good luck
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