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Thread: Dating and Valentine's day....

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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Array kygirl's Avatar
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    Default Dating and Valentine's day....

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    So I feel like when you've *just* started dating or if you've been together a while 6 months or more, then Valentine's day isn't so weird...

    BUT... What do you do if you've only been together a month or two when the holiday hits?

    I personally am not a huge fan of picking one day a year to have men feel like they can be romantic and then stop the rest of the year, but since the new beau and I have only been together a month, I'm not sure how to handle the holiday... I don't want him to feel like he has to buy me flowers or something so early on, but I kinda feel like if I mention it, then it makes a big deal out of it. I'd really like to just go to dinner or make something at home and let that be that....But how do I bring it up?? Or do I just let it go and see if he brings it up?

    I haven't done this in quite a few years...
    If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
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    It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward

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    'Hey, what do you think of Valentine's Day? I'm not into anything fancy, maybe just a romantic evening at home. What do you think?'

    Short, simple, and to the point.

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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+)MAY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array pretzel's Avatar
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    Chances are he's got the same questions going through his mind as well.

    Why not just tell him what you told us,

    Somebody's got to take the initiative, why not you.

    Tell him that you want to start your own Valentine's tradition with a simple candlelight dinner, nice bottle of wine, good company. Nothing fancy.

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    WH Moderator - JUNE 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH- Array KMonte85's Avatar
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    I am totally with you on the whole valentines day hoopla... overrated, and just another hallmark holiday to make people spend money and stress out.

    What if you just bring it up to him casually? Say you're taking a walk and pass by a shop window display full of valentines junk or something along those lines.. point it out and make a comment about how you're not big on the holiday, something like "wow I guess Valentines is getting closer... I've never really been into whole 'Valentines Day' thing..."

    and so on and so forth... get the discussion going and see what he thinks. I think he would appreciate you being up front about it so he doesn't have to guess..

    Then maybe bring up that you two should just have a low key day that day if that's what you want. He might love the idea, or he might be a BIG valentines day nut who wants to go all out! But ya won't know until you start talking about it
    Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson



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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Array kygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KMonte85 View Post
    I am totally with you on the whole valentines day hoopla... overrated, and just another hallmark holiday to make people spend money and stress out.

    What if you just bring it up to him casually? Say you're taking a walk and pass by a shop window display full of valentines junk or something along those lines.. point it out and make a comment about how you're not big on the holiday, something like "wow I guess Valentines is getting closer... I've never really been into whole 'Valentines Day' thing..."
    I like that idea, but we haven't really walked by anywhere that mentions it... I was kinda hoping when we went to dinner this past Sunday night that they would have something about Valentine's day posted or in the menu or something, but they didn't and neither did the other restaurant we went to for drinks... This weekend we're supposed to go to dinner Saturday and then bowling I think but not sure we'll be by anywhere with things posted....

    any other suggestions on how to casually bring it up?
    If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
    -Andy Rooney


    It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward

    Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale

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    Just bring it up the next time you're talking anyway. 'By the way..'

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Futureboy's Avatar
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    Never been an expert on valentines day

    I hate in too much pressure. I always made sure I bought flowers for my SO about a week before (i randomly buy flowers about 8 times a year) and go for a card on the day

    Walk past an underwear shop and say "OOh you could buy me thoughs instead of dinner on valentines and may be I'll cook you something. Do you like fish fingers?"

    He will be packing it as it's a pressure test for a guy with no right answer. You need to subtly tell him what you want or unsubtly

    Good luck

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    WH Moderator - JUNE 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH- Array KMonte85's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kygirl View Post
    I like that idea, but we haven't really walked by anywhere that mentions it... I was kinda hoping when we went to dinner this past Sunday night that they would have something about Valentine's day posted or in the menu or something, but they didn't and neither did the other restaurant we went to for drinks... This weekend we're supposed to go to dinner Saturday and then bowling I think but not sure we'll be by anywhere with things posted....

    any other suggestions on how to casually bring it up?

    Well, you could always just bring it up in conversation. You don't really NEED a lead in, but if it helps to get the talking started....

    What if you took him to a store, like a walmart or something like that? Tell him you need to stop in to get (enter cheap household necessity here)... on you way to whatever it is you're picking up, walk past the Valentine card aisle, valentine candy aisle, or valentine decorations aisle... and start the conversation then..
    Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson



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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Array kygirl's Avatar
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    Good idea KM. Thanks!
    If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
    -Andy Rooney


    It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward

    Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale

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    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Young love huh

    Kgirl you KNOW I've got the same problem~~~

    The other day, he asked me out of the blue " don't you have holes in your ears?", I have two actually, just don't always wear earings "around the house"... So my guess is shirt, he's buying me earings. Actually we were walking through shops at the time, and Valentines Day hit out on all windows...

    So, what do you buy a guy for the first time? When you think he's doing that? Exactly, Valentines Day is a man made thing I said this last year, a way to create revenue for shops and it sucks big time...

    Cards are fun but ahhhhh....

    It's easy for a guy, I think flowers, sexy underwear (not after 1 month ) but you know, dinner etc. But for a woman? mmmm thinking cap on ....
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

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