Forum:

Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: His Insecurities

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Saralaise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    49

    Default His Insecurities

    Become a member to remove this ad.
    My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year now, and he has this insecurity that he hasn't been able to overcome.

    I know we are all our worst critic, but he really has an issue with being seen naked. He has a great body and nothing is physically wrong with him. He won't undress in front of me, and after sex he immediately grabs the sheet to cover himself.

    I, on the other hand, don't mind undressing in front of him, and I don't have a problem being naked with him in bed. If I ever cover myself up, he asks me why and tries to pull the covers away, which I find to be hypocritical, because if I did that to him, he wouldn't like it.

    What can I do to help him be at ease with being naked?
    .:. if nothing changed, we wouldn't have butterflies.:.

  2. #2
    WH Moderator & WINNER OF BEST THREAD MARCH & JUNE 2011- Don't mes with Mes T Array Mes T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,722

    Default

    Hmm. How about starting with keeping all the lights off and maybe just laying in bed together, or does that make him uncomfortable too?

  3. #3
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) FEBRUARY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array stressed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,906

    Default

    Or how about making sex last longer, since he's already naked then, and you take a few moments back to look at him, mention how good he looks and so on. It might make him realize that it's okay to be naked and that you actually like it.

    You could also ask why he feels this way, to find where this originates from.

  4. #4
    Junior Member Array LedZeppelin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    21

    Default

    Everybody seems to overlook such a simple aspect of a relationship: Communication. Have you talked to him about this ? Maybe there was an event that happened in the past that triggers this fear of getting naked in front of you. Its your job to make him feel okay naked. You getting undressed freely isnt enough to show him that your completely comfortable with him. You need to show him that you love his body. Us men have just as much insecurities as any woman out there and some of us lack a lot of confidence. You need to tell him how much you love to see him naked, maybe even help undress him. But first and foremost talk about it. Im sure he ll be confident and comfortable soon enough
    It is the springtime of my loving, The second season I am to know. Your are the sunlight in my growing, so little warmth Ive felt before. It isnt hard to feel me glowing, I watched the fire that grew so low - Racheal <3

  5. #5
    WH Super Moderator Array Hopeless Dork's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    4,232

    Default

    I'm weird about being naked always have been. I've never in my life slept in the nude. Other people being naked doesn't bother me, when my boyfriend is naked I love it but me? I always have to have something on. If my shirt is off I want panties if my panties are off I want a shirt. I hate to feel I have nothing.. its insecurity issue as well as just comfort zone.
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    31

    Default

    I can't really relate to this as a bloke, as I can't think of anythin more freein than bein naked, especially in front of people. It's like saying 'You were expecting me to wear clothes? Oh no no, dear, I have another idea. Behold man in all his unshaven glory!' and therefore there is nothing manlier.

    I recommend you do something to boost his ego. Tell him he looks good, like he's been workin out i duno. What part does he cover up? Whatever part that might be, it looks big and masculine, emphasise that.

    If that sounds incredibly simple and childish, you've taken your first steps in understandin the male ego, well done.

  7. #7
    WH Moderator & WINNER OF BEST THREAD MARCH & JUNE 2011- Don't mes with Mes T Array Mes T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,722

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FeministBen View Post
    I can't really relate to this as a bloke, as I can't think of anythin more freein than bein naked, especially in front of people. It's like saying 'You were expecting me to wear clothes? Oh no no, dear, I have another idea. Behold man in all his unshaven glory!' and therefore there is nothing manlier.

    I recommend you do something to boost his ego. Tell him he looks good, like he's been workin out i duno. What part does he cover up? Whatever part that might be, it looks big and masculine, emphasise that.

    If that sounds incredibly simple and childish, you've taken your first steps in understandin the male ego, well done.
    Omg. Your post made me smile.

  8. #8
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) FEBRUARY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array stressed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,906

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FeministBen View Post
    I can't really relate to this as a bloke, as I can't think of anythin more freein than bein naked, especially in front of people. It's like saying 'You were expecting me to wear clothes? Oh no no, dear, I have another idea. Behold man in all his unshaven glory!' and therefore there is nothing manlier.

    I recommend you do something to boost his ego. Tell him he looks good, like he's been workin out i duno. What part does he cover up? Whatever part that might be, it looks big and masculine, emphasise that.

    If that sounds incredibly simple and childish, you've taken your first steps in understandin the male ego, well done.
    That's true! (and it also made me smile).

    It's amazing how men always smile and fill their lungs with an air of confidence as soon as we say "oh how strong you are, how big your muscles are, what a masculine man you are", it always works (and makes them run to open every jar for us just to hear us say it again).

  9. #9
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+)MAY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array pretzel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Philly Suburbs
    Posts
    1,562

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Saralaise View Post
    My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year now, and he has this insecurity that he hasn't been able to overcome.

    I know we are all our worst critic, but he really has an issue with being seen naked. He has a great body and nothing is physically wrong with him. He won't undress in front of me, and after sex he immediately grabs the sheet to cover himself.

    I, on the other hand, don't mind undressing in front of him, and I don't have a problem being naked with him in bed. If I ever cover myself up, he asks me why and tries to pull the covers away, which I find to be hypocritical, because if I did that to him, he wouldn't like it.

    What can I do to help him be at ease with being naked?
    At this point, probably nothing. I also wouldn't let it bother me that much either.

    There isn't a person alive who doesn't have their own little idiocyncracies. Sometimes just let them have them, tease them a litttle on it (just a little, don't go too far) and just realize that that is part of who he is.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 12
    Last Post: 07-07-2009, 11:41 AM
  2. Replies: 9
    Last Post: 09-12-2008, 12:21 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Beauty & Style | Fitness & Nutrition | Family & Relationships | Sex & Sexual Health | Physical & Mental Health | Girl Talk | Forum Home
Home | Health Library | Contact | Terms Of Service
© Womens-Health.com 2011+