Getting back out there, where to meet men?!

**kerry-** · 02-20-2010 01:54 PM

Well me and my ex broke up like a month and a half ago and I want to get back into the dating game. I've rebounded etc and feel ready for something real again. I'm just confused as to where to start lol! Where can I go to find people? (Sounds a bit strange I know!) But all my friends I'm not interested in that way, there IS a hot guy at work...dunno his situation though (if he's got a gf etc) and he is like four years older than me. Anyway just need tips for getting back to the dating game! Any advice is welcome

x x

**Hopeless Dork** · 02-20-2010 02:27 PM

The best way to end up with someone compatable is to just do all the things you love to do and make conversation with people you meet along the way.

Don't go to places you don't want your future boyfriend to frequent looking for a boyfriend as they will likely still be going there during your relationship (ie bars, nightclubs, etc). If you are outdoorsy, hit parks and trails with your dog or a friends, make convo's with people you meet along the way. Take a class you are interested in , make eye contact with the cute guy at the coffee shop.

There are potential boyfriends or friends or just cool guys to get to know EVERYWHERE... you just have to be upbeat, and aware to notice

**kerry-** · 02-20-2010 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

The best way to end up with someone compatable is to just do all the things you love to do and make conversation with people you meet along the way.

Don't go to places you don't want your future boyfriend to frequent looking for a boyfriend as they will likely still be going there during your relationship (ie bars, nightclubs, etc). If you are outdoorsy, hit parks and trails with your dog or a friends, make convo's with people you meet along the way. Take a class you are interested in , make eye contact with the cute guy at the coffee shop.

There are potential boyfriends or friends or just cool guys to get to know EVERYWHERE... you just have to be upbeat, and aware to notice

Yeah, I wish it was just as easy as they make it in sitcoms and movies

*sits in coffee house, hot guy comes over, chat begins, BOOM get a date* haha never happens in real life though, well don't know about the States but deff not here lol

**Kallygirlie** · 02-20-2010 04:46 PM

actually it is that easy. The reason finding Mr Right is so hard is we make it that hard. Dont set out a mission to find a good guy. Just live your life, do what you like and be yourself. If are usually someone that is out going and approaches someone then do just that. Dont second guess yourself. We all front who we really are hoping to impress but what happens is we attract guys who are attracted to that front and when they get to know us they leave. dont look for a boyfriend, look for friends and let it grow.

I myself thought it was hopeless for me cause I was so shy and was always working. I never went out and rarely spoke to anyone I didn't know. But surprise I'm in a very committed relationship now because I just stayed true to who I am.

**WildChild** · 02-20-2010 04:50 PM

A GF of mine claims that the dump is a good place on weekends. I'm there fairly often with my work and her dump must be a more social place than the ones I frequent. Really, be open where ever you go, you go lots of places so do single men.

**sourpuss** · 02-20-2010 09:48 PM

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

The best way to end up with someone compatable is to just do all the things you love to do and make conversation with people you meet along the way.

Don't go to places you don't want your future boyfriend to frequent looking for a boyfriend as they will likely still be going there during your relationship (ie bars, nightclubs, etc). If you are outdoorsy, hit parks and trails with your dog or a friends, make convo's with people you meet along the way. Take a class you are interested in , make eye contact with the cute guy at the coffee shop.

There are potential boyfriends or friends or just cool guys to get to know EVERYWHERE... you just have to be upbeat, and aware to notice

Well said. Great advice!!

**sourpuss** · 02-20-2010 09:51 PM

Originally Posted by kerry-

Yeah, I wish it was just as easy as they make it in sitcoms and movies

*sits in coffee house, hot guy comes over, chat begins, BOOM get a date* haha never happens in real life though, well don't know about the States but deff not here lol

Actually it is totally that easy. If you're outgoing and make eye contact with people and are open to conversations and meeting people, it really is easy to make all kinds of connections. Not just for dating, but just people in general.

**kerry-** · 02-21-2010 05:50 AM

Thanks guys all great advice

Especially about the "fronting" thing I think I may have done that on occasion

**stressed** · 02-21-2010 10:07 PM

You have the most chances of finding a good man for you in places where you spend the most of your free time, or by doing activities you enjoy the most, or where you can share your hobbies.

e.g.
You spend a lot of time on the internet: You'll meet him online
You like sports: You'll meet him at the gym
You love cooking: At a cooking class
You like chess: At a chess club
You're a student: At school/uni

Aside from those, it is also about luck: it can be a neighbour, a friend's friend, somebody who gave you directions, the postman, the one sitting next to you at the cinema, it can basically be anyone. And they are usually found when you least expect them, instead of when you intentionally look for them.

**Mayberry** · 02-25-2010 05:56 PM

There is some GREAT advice in this thread, thank you all so much! I'm wanting to meet someone after several years of being out of the social loop because of illness, and suddenly I feel like I don't know what people do or how to meet anyone anymore! I feel better thinking that I should just start doing what I enjoy. It makes perfect sense - if I go do things I don't enjoy to meet someone, then I'll be meeting people who enjoy different things than me! Seems so straight forward when someone else says it