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Have you talked to him about it? If not, you need to ask him the same question you asked us... Why is he doing this?
what to do, what to say, BF still goes online
Ok, so we have been seeing each other for about 2 1/2 months, every weekend. he is very sweet and thoughtful. he tells me he loves me his behavior seems to back that up. he talks about things we'll do in the future and so on.
BUT I went on a dating web site yesterday to shut down my profile and noticed that he had just been on that day! OK fine if he likes to chat platonically but he hadn't changed his status to 'seeing someone' and he still had looking for "dating, long term' checked' .
I feel stunned and hurt. why is he doing this? I feel like he doesn't really love me afterall. any thoughts or experiences with this?
Have you talked to him about it? If not, you need to ask him the same question you asked us... Why is he doing this?
Friendship Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Amen
Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
I was with my boyfriend in a committed relationship for several months before I noticed on his my space that he still had 'single and looking' checked off. He wasn't, and he wasn't. His last log in date was fresh so I was a little hurt at first... I knew how he felt about me and knew he wasn't looking around for others so I just went straight to the point with him... but in a calm and joking way.
I was like HEYyyy I noticed your my space page says ur still lookin -- whatcha lookin for there mister? lol. And he was like ahhh I haven't update that thing in forever, I still go on there for band pages and when a friend sends an email.
I didn't ask him to change it, questioned him no further on it and moved on happy getting it off my chest and feeling more secure about it.
The next time I looked at his page a couple of weeks later his status was changed to 'in a relationship'.
I guess it just never dawned on him to change it because he knew he wasn't using that site in that way, and never really did anyway.
Perhaps your guy got some email and went to read it so it showed a recent log in, maybe he went to get a picture from his album or some other reason but it didn't occur to him to change the status.
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
Ive been through the same - but the other way round.
My boyfriend was the one who called me saying (after 3 months of us being together).. 'err....your still single on myspace??' I just completley forgot to change it. It isnt the first think that crosses my mind when i get into a relationship 'ooo need to change my status on myspace/facebook.'
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - Chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming WOO-HOO what a ride!!"
"I dream about being with you forever." - Twilight
I think everyone has summed it up pretty well here; it is very likely that he just forgot about updating his profile and the solution is as simple as bringing it up (calmly!!!) to refresh his memory...
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
2 1/2months is not that long.... It was 4 months before I considered changing my status and by then he was half living with me. I dated a guy before him for 4-6months and never changed my status. Even married now I still have an active account and I still log on sometimes just for entertainment. My status does say married and the content from my profile has been deleted. My husband doesn't care. I just tell him I'm looking for a rich guy to have an affair with and come back with all the money.
It can be any of the following, with the first one being the most possible explanation:
- He's forgotten about it.
- He doesn't want to lose the attention of other single ladies.
- He wants to have his options open.
This is same with me and my bf. We were like seeing each other for more than 6 months before we finally hit the "in a relationship" status. It wasn't really a big deal for us although it's an issue that will keep everyone around guessing about the real score between us. He was the one who changed the status and primary pic first, and I just followed because I was touched by his initiative.
One thing I've noticed is that guys don't seem to get too concerned with that. Not in an insensitive way, but like everyone said, they forget. Even I rarely edit my profiles that I still do use, even when I think of it I forget 20 seconds later because I'm never looking right at it.
If it bothers you that much, then maybe bring it up to him in a light hearted manner, then don't bring it up again. Then he will at least think of it.
I had no idea when to change it when I started seeing my boyfriend, but he changed his own after a couple of weeks which prompted me to do that. It could be the same case here.
I've got to be direct
If I'm off please correct
You're standing on my neck....
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