Thread: Help: my boyfriend watches porn

As Wc has said, there is no shortage of women going through exactly what you are , or have in the past and have posted their stories here. Search 'porn' on these forums for insight on how some other women are coping with many of the same feelings you are likely having yourself.

Do you feel sexually satisfied in your relationship? Are you being turned down for sex, or are you turning him down for sex?

Are you more upset with the lying or with porn in general?

Is his continued use of porn despite how you feel about it something that would cause you to leave the relationship?

So sorry about your situation. He can always apologize and promise, but ask yourself if you can take it. Decide what's best for you. Read though the threads/posts that WC is suggesting and let us know your thoughts soon. Take care.

I thought we were sexually satisfied but he didnt. I dont ever turn him down for sex anymore, he has turned me down. I turned him down one time, and he got so upset, so I dont do it anymore. I'm more upset about the lying, I cant stand the lying. I have read some of the other posts about porn, and I have read mens oppinions too. They said trying watching with him, and I have but he wanted nothing to do with that. I dont know anymore.

I had something like that happen to me..I am not a very trusting person in the first place..but I have 4 kids and one day I had my bf watching my older son who was 5 at the time..I came home and needed to look something up on the web so I looked it up on the laptop he uses..well I was like I wonder what he has been looking at I saw he been looking at porn while he was suppose to be watching my son...I was very mad to put it lightly..the fact he was suppose to be watching my child and looking that up..which he said he went hide in the bathroom while he did it..but it was what he was looking at...I know its legal but he was looking at teen porn..of grown woman acting like little girls..I said that it was sick cause I also have a 10 year girl and I think it sick when anyone looks up porn like that..I cussed him out...I found out hes been hiding it from me that he is kind of addicted to looking at porn...just makes me sick...He was working night shifts when I saw all this and text him about it than he called and I kicked him out had his stuff waiting out front for him ...guess when he was driving to his parents house he hit a deer almost went over a cliff for it...said he felt like god was punishing him..lol...I told him in the end I don't mind him looking every once in while but to look at it from my view him looking at teen porn and how it freaked me out..that's every parents nightmare of something happening to their kids and how it made him look by looking at it...he said he really didn't see it that way but now talking about it and seeing my view he can see why I felt that way...We did work it out but I do believe him when he said he didn't see it as sick or wrong, but I still do not trust him all the way...not because I think he do anything but the fact he actually tried to lie about it all even though I had the proof sometimes men are so stupid...I still think less of him for it even though I love him and we work everyday on building are trust back ...lol...I know long...its the first time I talked about this...so kind of my vent too hope you don't mind..I really think it is something you should look at together as a couple because it does cause big problems and broken relationships....

Pinky, your mama alarm bells went off and I am glad you paid attention to them and I hope you continue to do so. If the porn he was watching, even if the women were legal, depicted them behaving as little girls... thats something very very scary for you as a mom with a female child in the house.

Having been an abuse victim myself, having had friends that had mom's with boyfriends that were AWFUL.. alarm bells ring in my head too... and I really hope that for your daughters sake, you don't leave him alone with her until he has completely gained your trust over that porn stuff.

Did he look at other porn too or just exclusively women pretending to be little girls? I know you can't think every guy that would look at that is potentially a danger to a child... but...in reality its a lot more risky having a man in the house that is interested sexually in little girl mannerisms , even if they are being depicted by adult women.

I am not saying you should be paranoid... but... you should be paranoid. Don't alarm your daughter but I hope you have already had talks with her about coming to you if ANYONE... not 'him' persay.. but if ANYONE makes her feel uncomfortable.

I had a friend who's stepfather convinced her that if she ever said anything her mother would hate her... etc.. Kids are so naive... anytime you bring a man into a house with children there is a risk , trust must be there.. most people are good.. but you having proof that he has an interest in younger girls or women acting like them should put you at much higher alert.

He looked at all kinds, but he also looked at teen porn...and I told him I just think its a legal way for pedophiles to look at stuff like that with out getting in trouble and if he really likes that stuff I don't think we should be together...he said he was just browsing which he did have all kinds but still the fact he even looked grossed me out....I will not be one of those mothers that take the bf side over my children..they come first always..I can always get a new bf...kids will be scared for life and I do not want that for my kids

I have had the talk with my daughter..actually every few months I do cause I want her to remember no matter what even at school since shes getting to were boys might try stuff to always come to me I do not care if they say that they are going to kill us all or going to hurt any of us you come to me right away..I also told her to scream for help and run never to get in any car with anyone I don't care if they are pointing a gun at you..do not get in there cause once you do you they are going to hurt you and maybe kill you...I know it sounds harsh but I want her to know what will happen...and what will happen to the people that try to hurt her or anyone in my family..the worlds to dangerous to not tell your kids what can happen.

I forgot to say its been over a year since that has happen and he really has been try and showing me that I can trust him...I have been working on trusting him to...I have a harder time trying to trust him...but to make our relationship work we both have to try so I have been and will continue as long as he continues to show me that I can trust him...and that means not just saying sorry, but actually showing me, by his actions he has to show me. Talk is not enough to earn my trust.