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Thread: Is it really that hard to let someone go?

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by sperosi View Post
    its easy to see what needs to be done when it is someone else involved. i am going to give you the same advice that i should be following myself...

    cut the rope, or you'll end up drowning!
    Ye if i was someone else then i would tell them to tell the A hole to do one! and not even bother with them..
    He called me sat day and everything was fine.. i messaged him in the evening and i havent even heard a single thing.. I mean its thursday now..
    So im taking advice now ive done the tears now im gettting a bit hacked off to be honest.. I dont deserve to be ignored by someone...

  2. #12
    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    xJ, if someone confuses you, then your mind is going 10 to 1 and why would you want that? In addition, the communication isn't there to be free, you, tell it how it is, you text, he ignores, two days later, purely asks what you are doing, you came to mind, not "miss you, pick up let's talk"... says, let him go.. You deserve respect and to be treated as you would treat someone else... That's his problem if he can't.

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

  3. #13
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    The worst thing i think is that I want closure on this.. I know he is no longer intrested as he hasn't messaged me for nearly a week now.. Hes made his excuses to meet up itl be 5 weeks since i have seen him saturday.... THATS A BIIIG HINT I know..
    I just dont want to be in the back of his mind and when hes free.. " oh i know ill text her see how she is" But what i want is to call him and ask him abouto everything...Would that be the right thing to do? or shall I just do what hes doing and completly not bother texting??

  4. #14
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    If he hasn't made the time to see you in 5 weeks its not a priority for him. No matter how busy someone is... 5 weeks is a long time if you live close enough to each other.

    If he's not returning your texts... don't send them anymore. If he won't talk to you on the phone, stop calling. Your time and energy are better spent on yourself than giving him any more attention than he stopped deserving long ago.

    I think you should go on about your life and move on. If he contacts you, you can contact him back but do it at your own leisure... he's not making you a priority so you needn't make him one either.

    If you guys are not committed to each other, leave yourself open to meeting other people. Hang out with friends, engross yourself in work, school, fitness, hobbies, things that make you feel good about yourself.

    If it works out that you are still single and interested by the time he has time for you than great... if not, his loss.

    But I think if he is just genuinly busy, and can't manage to see you in 5 weeks... even if he does like you, is that the kind of relationship you want? Where a week can go by without any sort of returning of your messages?

    It just doesn't sound like he's in a place in his life right now where he has much to give, and if he does he isn't putting the effort in to give it to you.

    Does this mean you have to abandon all hope with him? No. Maybe in the future your worlds will mesh better.

    Does this mean you should sit around waiting for him? No. Not if he isn't giving you attention, returning messages, squeezing in a visit here and there. Its a busy time for him but surely he stops to breathe. Surely he can punch a few digits in his phone to respond to you at some point in his day. Surely he still eats, and could very easily ask you to accompany him on occasion... etc.

    Him not doing those things, his actions, or rather inactions... are tell you everything your not hearing with words.
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by xJanex View Post
    The worst thing i think is that I want closure on this.. I know he is no longer intrested as he hasn't messaged me for nearly a week now.. Hes made his excuses to meet up itl be 5 weeks since i have seen him saturday.... THATS A BIIIG HINT I know..
    I just dont want to be in the back of his mind and when hes free.. " oh i know ill text her see how she is" But what i want is to call him and ask him abouto everything...Would that be the right thing to do? or shall I just do what hes doing and completly not bother texting??

    Hun, so many people "don't" give closure.. They just don't they are selfish when it's done, it's done.... It's gutless but it's a fact.

    He hasn't messaged you... 1 week.... you haven't seen him for 5 weeks... his message was "what have you been up to" via a text.

    As, I said, YOU deserve better. Don't let your heart strings play here, your better than that, you deserve better than that, don't text, don't call and if he does, don't reply... That is what you should do...

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by xJanex View Post
    The worst thing i think is that I want closure on this.. I know he is no longer intrested as he hasn't messaged me for nearly a week now.. Hes made his excuses to meet up itl be 5 weeks since i have seen him saturday.... THATS A BIIIG HINT I know..
    I just dont want to be in the back of his mind and when hes free.. " oh i know ill text her see how she is" But what i want is to call him and ask him abouto everything...Would that be the right thing to do? or shall I just do what hes doing and completly not bother texting??
    been there too. we all want closure, to understand why, to be able to know what happened. i am going through letting go right now and have all of the same feelings you have.

    intellectually i know it will never happen.

    my heart wishes it would.

    and thats why it's so hard :'(

    i will again tell you what i already know and am having a hard time with myself...

    cut the rope, or you'll end up drowning!

  7. #17
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    Default Just a update

    So i dint hear from him in a whole week... he messaged me a couple of nights ago..which i ignored..
    the other night I messaged him asking why it took him a whole week and if he wasnt intrested then tell me...

    I got the reply.. and he is intrested in me but he just cant do a new relationship beucase of his last year at uni being stressed and very busy and he is moving in a few months..
    he told me he wished we met a year ago.. I accept this its such a shame but i just have to let him fly and if its meant to be.. its meant to be i wish him the very best.
    i hope we can still be friends after all i hardly saw him..

    i have been a bit teary and upset but in time i know ill be ok..

  8. #18
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    I'm so sorry jane

    But you really are doing what is best for your heart and at least he was man enough to tell you the truth.

    If you have your heart set on a relationship or at the very least getting a fair amount of attention from a guy you are dating... he isn't the one for you.

    You don't want to spend your days looking at your phone wondering why he hasn't thought to call or text etc.

    You hurt now, but you are right it will fade... and you never know what life may toss your way when you keep your heart open to letting whatever happens happen.
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

  9. #19
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    I found something on my daughters tumbler page that is just so appropriate:

    I’m not going to spend my life chasing people. You wanna leave? Fine then, go ahead. 'Cause I’m done with chasing and caring for people who never had interest in me. Nothing lasts and people change. I’ve learned love is hard and life is strange.

    amazing how teenagers can be so much smarter and stronger than we are sometimes.

    i am sorry you are going through this.

    you will be ok!

  10. #20
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    just to re-iterate. move on. time will help you forget about him and find someone else. focus on you. go away on a vacation if you need to. don't text him. don't reply to his texts or phone calls. see what happens and good luck

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