Help me move on.

**bored99** · 04-12-2010 02:02 AM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

Help you move on?

They see sex as sex and once conqoured, well that's it.. But, the woman they want to be with or that will win, is the one that keeps him curious, keeps him guessing, and makes him want her.. Then she wins.

I agree, with other posters, try real hard not to be clingy, in-fact, make it known your dating a couple of guys, but not sure which you prefer .. Make him see what he doesn't know, you, inside.. and miss that person..

CW

ie Don't sleep with them on the first night!!

No more texting but will I look desperate if I ask him out for a coffee - as friends.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-12-2010 02:16 AM

Well, I am 46, and I don't know how old you are, but I recall some "bad" decisions in my earlier days...

And, even now, nothing changes, boys are boys, no matter how old they are.. So yes, I have to say, no, don't...

Hard to explain, but when they actually have a date and like you, get on well, laugh, and feel chemistry but don't get there, they respect that... Then they want to know you more.. So they ask you out again.. And, if you can, hold off there, too, because they get to know you more and all of a sudden, they see you... like you.. and see you as relationship material... also because, take this in the right light, if you didn't give in the first time, second, then you don't with other guys before him.

Yes, you will..

He has created a picture, one that you have to change.. He sees you as clingy and you know that. He also sees what I wrote above.

So, the only way you can make him "think" it was him, not your nature, is to back off totally, smile and say hi, but that's it, create "good gossip" in the work place, of a couple of dates you have been on and that the guy likes you and you've only dated, nothing more... Not from you but someone else.

Your being clingy still

Ask him out for coffee as friends... That's not what you after, you have to play this smart, you may lose, this time, but you won't the next if you take that advice.

See it from a man's eye, not yours.

In addition, ask yourself why you feel that you don't deserve to have that special guy, and therefore, play this game, the game of a woman, who wants a relationship because she deserves it.

CW

**bored99** · 04-12-2010 02:31 AM

Thanks for the response. I feel like I may have already screwed this up with my nonsense... Ouch!!

How do I play this smart as I really like him and in desperately showing him that, have come across as clingy and needy? So no coffee invite and no contact? Is that right?

I don't normally go nuts over guys (like this) but then I rarely meet ones that I really like as well.

Thanks for the advice as well and please be as frank as you like. I think I have just been deluding myself so far.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-12-2010 02:37 AM

I know you do... that's the hardest part, when your mind is going 24/7 over this person, and you can't think of anything but him.

But ask yourself why? Is it really him? Or you so badly wanting someone in your life and because you bonded, as women do

You want..?

I was a bit worried, about being so frank so glad you are okay with that

What is it that you like about him though?

He slept with you, then said, sorry friends only... Is that a man that you want in your life?

Is it not more so the rejection and wanting to prove something?

Then prove it... tell him he's a jerk, you don't sleep around, you liked him, but seeing as he sees you differently, then sorry, for that, tell him, he should really see people for who they are and not put them into categories.

Then, date, others and DON'T sleep with them... Talk about that around work...

He will see a strong women, one who actually liked him, who isn't clinging anymore, not texting, who slept with him because she liked him and is now saying pfttt and dating others and proving her self worth.

CW