Thread: Sadness

So I met this awesome guy in December at a holiday party. We really hit it off, lots of similar interests and this guy only lives like 2.5 miles from me. He, however had a really high sex drive. I liked him a lot, and it's not like he pressured me into doing sex but I wasn't quite ready. (Mentally,no, physically and spiritually I was ready.) I was falling in love with him or so I thought so I gave him my first time during some odd experience..even though we weren't 'officially' dating. Yea, I'm a foolish romantic. ~*sigh*~

Then I freaked out because I was just on my birth control (pill) and being obese and of course first time worries was like: "OMG I did it and I hope science is behind me and doesn't give me a kid." He seemed to think I was fine. I stayed up all night shaking in fear and he just slept after trying to comfort me for only like 15 minutes. Anyways, we wound up not talking for like 2 weeks. (Where he later admitted he slept with another woman.)

Though when I went to get checked out for STDs and whatever he was supportive, making sure that I was ok. So I think he does care.

Regardless he still says he's attracted to me and leaves comments in texts and stuff like he wants to have sex with me 'safer' but at the same time I know I can't be the right one for him (I have a low sex drive, he has high one.) Also since he slept with another woman (even though we weren't 'offically dating' ) is a big-tip off!

So I knew after another incident that he was really not the one for me. I was really sick at a party and he finally relented after I asked many times (To the point where I was annoying) to take me home even though it was late at night.

Anyways, I just want to be friends now but it's odd for me because I slept with him and he's the first guy I've slept with. He obviously 'wants' me in that way but I can't handle it. He's thinking he's poly and I'm totally not. Though when I see him flirting with other women it hurts inside a bit. I bet that's normal..

It's just sad because I really was falling for him and that's why I gave myself to him after such a short period of time.

So I guess what I'm asking for is a) support b) wondering if anyone else had a similiar situation. (Your first time boy/girl, did you stay with them or wind up with someone else, how did that feel?) What do you do with a friend that you've slept with in the past? How did you deal with that? c) He seems to be getting really distant, but that distance is hurting me.. We still hang out and do stuff and he does have 'cuddle priviledges'. I'm thinking I should talk to him about stuff but wondering what you guys all think?

Thanks, it feels better to talk about it here.