It shouldnt work but it does!

**Joey** · 04-28-2010 12:12 AM

i think our worries about relationships all stem from that 'if its too good to be true, it probably is' theory! occasionally - the theory is totally spot on! But when you actually find an AAAAAAA-mazing guy - the theory may be lurking away in your mind somewhere!

**JadedQueen** · 04-28-2010 10:20 AM

ENJOY yourself! It sounds to me like a very happy and healthy relationship. ENJOY it. You do deserve to be happy so stop looking for the flaws and being doubtful.

This guy and your friends all think you are pretty terrific and you seem to think they are just "being nice" well first of all that many people can't be wrong.

Just curious but your previous "control freak" ex wouldn't have been emotionally abusive as well??? I had an ex that was a control freak and very emotionally abusive and when the relationship ended I had a hard time believing that I deserved to be happy cuz that's the bs that he constantly put in my head to maintain control over me.

Anyway.... have fun getting to know this guy, he sounds great and you sound like you are very happy with him. Stop dwelling on the age difference.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-28-2010 10:38 AM

Want me to throw a spanner in the works?

Na, can't do it

A control freak ex-husband is a very good reason to get out there and enjoy your life.

You are.

A control freak husband, makes you think your not good enough and hense your question

Your 27 year old boyfriend thinks you are, it's time for you to think you are as well.. A control freak husband does this because he has a fear of losing, and so he controls and so he lost.

The honest only reason why this may have a hurdle? Is children... If he wants them, how many, if you want any, when.

But given that your "only" 38 and remember that, it's a sexy age, then you still have plenty of time and off course so does he.

I"m 47 this year, the photo you see is 3 years old, I don't think I look 47 and there is nothing wrong with having confidence, I don't. My boyfriend looks 37, apart from the fact he's balding

But I find that sexy.. and he certainly acts 37 and so do I...

It's about compatibility, not age, remember that.

CW

**rhiannon34** · 04-28-2010 07:46 PM

One, I think you are taking things waaaaayyyy to seriously. Go with the flow, let it be what it is, and don't try to make it into something else. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. It's not like you're living together, getting married or having kids. So just enjoy yourself.
Second, you aren't giving him enough credit. It sounds a little like you are assuming he's so shallow that he'll realize later you look too wrinkly and leave. Mabye he's better than that.
Mainly it sounds like you're just being a little paranoid and not wanting to invest a lot emotionally because you're past marriage.

**Lizzy79** · 04-29-2010 11:20 PM

hey lushley,

not sure if you are going to see this. but i am 31 and i am dating a 49 year old. . we were both in seriosly bad marriages for a long time. and we luckily found eachother. he is such a great man! we have been dating a little over 6 months and things got really serious from day one. we too had the age thing come up a lot. he still thinks i am going to turn and run when he turns 50. but he coudn't make me happier. i think the kicker for us was we were open about all our fears. that's what it all comes down to. FEAR. you have to think about what you like about your guy and what he likes about you. age doesn't really matter. it only matters as much as you make it matter!! good luck, you deserve to be happy!. i am, and i can't imagine being happier with anyone else closer to my age!

**grrrr** · 04-30-2010 01:34 AM

Originally Posted by Lizzy79

hey lushley,

not sure if you are going to see this. but i am 31 and i am dating a 49 year old. . we were both in seriosly bad marriages for a long time. and we luckily found eachother. he is such a great man! we have been dating a little over 6 months and things got really serious from day one. we too had the age thing come up a lot. he still thinks i am going to turn and run when he turns 50. but he coudn't make me happier. i think the kicker for us was we were open about all our fears. that's what it all comes down to. FEAR. you have to think about what you like about your guy and what he likes about you. age doesn't really matter. it only matters as much as you make it matter!! good luck, you deserve to be happy!. i am, and i can't imagine being happier with anyone else closer to my age!

FEAR - that's a really good point! You and I have a similar age difference with our SO's...

I think that it's sad on either sad that there's a stigma that's formed.... older women younger men - "cougar" - older man younger woman somewhat more "normal" - but there's still the "craddle robber" aspect...

Find what works for you, and be happy if you're lucky enough to find happiness and love! Don't let what other people say influence you at all!

If you're openly happy together you'll make them second guess what they're thinking in the end!

**goose** · 04-30-2010 02:24 AM

I am 45years old and my wife is 35years old. We are great together. If you and yourbf are having a goodtime and get along well don't let the age get in the way. You only live once enjoy it.

**keyboardtapper** · 05-08-2010 11:48 PM

Hey, if you were a guy and he was a woman it wouldn't seem strange at all to anyone! I think it's great that you have found someone you care about - age doesn't matter at all. If he didn't want to be with you he wouldn't, so stop waiting for something to go wrong - life's too short! BTW, I have a close friend who is over twenty years younger than his partner and they have been together for almost that long! So yes, it can work - it's all about the two people involved (not anyone else!).

**lushley666** · 05-10-2010 04:10 AM

Thanks - it is good, we are good together

- we do have fun and thats what I intend to do. My ex put me down for many many years - he told me that I would never get anyone else, that if i did then they would run a mile if they saw me naked, he was not a nice person - it wasnt till we split he said he only said these things to make me feel bad. My BF is always telling me how sexy but I suppose the damage from my ex has been done and I really dont think I am!! But then I have a gorgeous 27 year old boyfriend who is funny, caring, kind and sexy as so I can't be that bad!