I was wondering the SAME THING! CW????
As for the stag party... for me, I don't know that I would have to or want to put limits on what my hubby could do. In my opinion, if we're about to be married, he should already know what is and is not acceptable in my book, as I would in his. Would I expect him to be okay with me going to a strip club, getting lap dances, and having a stranger wiggle his junk in my face? No, I can tell you he probably would be quite angry with me... So I would never do that at my party. And he knows that if he came home smelling of stripclub with glitter all over the crotch of his pants, he'd be in the dog house too.
He planned his best friend's bachelor party, they went camping, trap shooting, ATVing, and bar hopping. Had a great (CLEAN!) time. These parties can be done in a respectable and fun way.. it doesn't need to be mucked up with prostitutes and strippers - that just causes trouble before the nuptials!!
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
In my opinion, 99% of the traditions centered around marriage have nothing to do with love or partnerships these days. It's for the sake of doing it. The big wedding, the gifts, money, parties...etc.
I would be worried that he didn't care what she did. Seems like he's laying the ground work to be off the hook later when he does something she's not into.
I was married in Asia and am glad that a stag party was not part of the ritual. It seems as if it makes a wedding the knot that binds instead of the knot that unites. Not a great way to start a loving commitment. Neither one should have that type of situation just before true commitment.
I think hen and stag parties are all jsut for fun and its up to the individual what they do. I would not stop my guy going to a strip club or stop his friends hiring a stripper. I personally wouldnt want a stripper myself but if thats what my guy wants as long as he comes home to me I wouldnt mind. Its fun at the end of the day.
My friend has taken the control too far, she is not having either of these parties, although at this stage he has no friends he is allowed to see anyway. I think a compromise is the key if you are really uncomfortable with strippers etc talk to him but not allowing a stag party is too much, guys need guy time and a crazy stag do is in a way the man understanding that married life means less time with the guys so why not let them have their fun.
Just my opinion, I just wouldnt be worried because the man I marry will be the man that respects me and will think of my feelings, he wouldnt hurt me.
I think these are a negative "tradition" that needs to be done away with. They do not promote a loving trusting environment to start a commitment with. Having a shower was to starting setting a new bride's house in order. A party before the party so to speak is senseless anyway and the idea the you have to have a "last fling" is stupid. You should of had that before committed to an engagement.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
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