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Thread: why do i keep changing my mind

  1. #1
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    Default why do i keep changing my mind

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    ok theres a guy i know really well. we've been talking for a long amount of time. he is in love with me. and some days i like him and other days i dont know. so on the days i like him, i tell him. then hes excited but then after a bit i change my mind. hes getting frusturated but is patient. i dont blaim him for being frusturated because i can never make up my mind about what i want. i dont really know if i want to dat him and im not going to if i dont feel comfortable about it. im hesitant but i dont know why. hes great. theres nothing wrong with him. maybe im worried about what ppl will think. idk. but its so hard because im so wishy washy about ervything i do. why am i like this? is it a sign i just dont like him...because i do...but i dont... lol.ahhh!!

  2. #2
    WH Super Moderator Array sourpuss's Avatar
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    Do you ever spend time with him outside of school? Have you hung out or went on a proper date? What do you like about him? What is it about him that bothers you on the days you don't like him.

    If you are so wishy washy, be careful not to string the poor guy along. That's not nice for sure.
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  3. #3
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array eleni's Avatar
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    im sorry but it sounds to me that you're messing him around.
    and keeping him 'in reserve' as a back up option and thats just not cool.

    you clearly dont like him enough to have a relationship with him
    otherwise you'd have done it by now.

    let him go and let him find someone who will love him completely.

    then hopefully you'll find somebody you love and who loves you back.

    x
    'so why care for these petty obsessions? your designer heart still beats with common blood. and what if you could have genetic perfection? would you change who you are if you could?'

  4. #4
    WH Moderator - JUNE 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH- Array KMonte85's Avatar
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    just because a guy is a great guy and wants to date you doesn't mean you automatically have to have the same feelings, or that it is weird if you don't!

    It sounds from your post that you just sort of "eh" about this guy, you like and appreciate his attention and advances, but don't quite like the idea of dating him or making him your boyfriend. If you've known him for a long time and still don't feel like you want to date him, then I think you've most likely already made up your mind about him, but just don't want to let go of the attention he gives you and/or you don't want to hurt his feelings.

    Let the guy down easy, tell him you like him, but you're not really that into him in a romantic way, at least not enough to date him. Just don't dangle your affection in front of him, liking him one day, not liking him the other. That's not fair and hurtful to the guy..

    let him go so you can find someone you're head over heels with, and so he can find someone who will be head over heels for him.
    Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson



  5. #5
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    In order to be in a healthy relationship, you need to figure out what you want in a partner. If you are confused about your feelings for him, there are certain "red flags" that he is giving you that are not in line with your current values & wants in a partner. I suggest you figure out who you are and what YOU want in a partner and FIND that person, not lead this one along.

    Hope this helps! Cheers and good luck!

  6. #6
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    i know what i want in a man and hes just not it. im not stringing him along anymore. its done. i feel terrible about hurting him but i needed to do it and we both just need to move on. "when your hesitant dont buy, obviously you dont want it bad enough"....that is my theory...thank you everyone for the great advice. that is all waht i thought but i just needed reasuurance. thank you all...

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