Been dating 1.5 years... how much alone time is healthy?

**bonbon143** · 05-16-2010 09:57 PM

My BF and I have been dating for quite sometime now. We work together, so I often get a chance to speak to him at least 1x per day.

However, we do not see each other everyday, only about 2-3x per week where he stays over on Wed, Fri, Sat...

Isn't it if the guy loves you, he would want to see you everyday? I don't think he is cheating, because we would at least chat over Facebook, text, or talk to each other at night when we don't see each other...

Am I just being paranoid?

Thanks for your help!

**Mes T** · 05-16-2010 10:01 PM

Yep you're being paranoid!

For many couples, it's not practical to see each other every day. People have separate responsibilities, activities, and hobbies than their partners, and that's okay. In fact it's not just "okay," it's GREAT.

Couples need to be careful and not fall into the trap of being together so often that they lose their own interests and friends. Your life shouldn't revolve around your partner, like various movies and romance novel lead us to believe. The cake should be your separate lives, and the frosting and cherry on top should be when you two merge.

I think at the moment you have what is called a HEALTHY relationship.

**bonbon143** · 05-16-2010 10:03 PM

THANKS MES_T...!! I think I am paranoid hahah. Thanks, I'm glad you think so. Good to hear this from another lady

Cute cat BTW...

**jns** · 05-16-2010 10:06 PM

What does he tell you he is doing on the other nights?

**Mes T** · 05-16-2010 10:06 PM

Why thank you!

It's not mine.

Hurry up and get an avatar and post MOAR, missy!

**bonbon143** · 05-16-2010 10:08 PM

Usually he is just playing poker online, chilling at home, watching TV etc. I believe him because I chat with him when he is doing these things.

I have, at one time, checked his phone for any messages from other girls or random phone numbers, but all I saw is my number and my messages to him.

**Mes T** · 05-16-2010 10:12 PM

Originally Posted by bonbon143

Usually he is just playing poker online, chilling at home, watching TV etc. I believe him because I chat with him when he is doing these things.

I have, at one time, checked his phone for any messages from other girls or random phone numbers, but all I saw is my number and my messages to him.

Try not to snoop again. You have no reason to not trust him, none at all, that I could gather from your post.

Your guy sounds a lot like me. I really value the time that I have to just chill on my own, doing nothing more taxing than watching TV. It makes me a better girlfriend to my boyfriend when we ARE together, and I'm sure it does the same for your guy.

**lushley666** · 05-17-2010 01:58 AM

I know how you feel - I have been with my BF for about the same time and I love spending time with him and when he doesnt want to see me I get paranoid and think that he SHOULD want to see me! How rude of him not to want to spend his every waking hour with me! LOL!! I know he is seeing friends or playing his Xbox but I think it's healthy to have time apart.