Long Distance Relationship

**thack** · 05-18-2010 03:16 PM

Hello again friends :P

My situation right now is a tough one for sure, I have a woman whom I love dearly, and I feel loved right back from her. We are stuck thousands of miles apart right now, I recently got moved to Germany and she stayed back in Colorado because of work.

(big sad face!)

I feel like this woman could honestly be a woman I spend the rest of my life with, we have a great relationship, tons of positives and of course a few discussion points (not too many at all)

What I am looking for is ideas passed just sending flowers, for how I can help keep the romance and emotional connection burning strong during our time apart. I love to write letters and I do plan to send hand written ones (working on one as we speak actually, hand hurts, stopped writing for a min lol), cards come to mind, but I am not sure what passed that.

thoughts?

**thack** · 05-19-2010 05:40 PM

What a bummer, no advice, ideas, nothing?

**Mes T** · 05-19-2010 05:45 PM

Aww

I think you're doing pretty much what anyone can, in a long distance relationship.

Maybe be extra romantic in your cards/letters. I know I'd be a much happier gal if my boyfriend did that, grrrrr.

**jns** · 05-19-2010 09:01 PM

Email, phone and text beyond the letters. One of the keys, especially in the age of cell phones, is to let her know you are thinking of her often, which should be true. You don't have to say much, just hello and why you communicated. Ask her how work was. And, of course, tell her that you miss her.

**WildChild** · 05-19-2010 09:38 PM

You can go online and get ecertificates for things like a massage or spa day, you could do that once in a while for something super special. Cards, notes, little drawings, postcards- are all good.
How about the two of you agreeing on a couple of books to read at the same time and you can share your thoughts about them?
Do something whimsical once in a while - like Quackers Gift Shop in Englewood does gift baskets of rubber duckies - just something fun and silly.
Send pictures.

PS: How's your son?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-20-2010 03:08 AM

thack... Devils advocate

Don't "try too hard".. don't be frightened of what you went through the last time, and therefore "try too hard" because you may make her "feel" that your "all over her", you know what I mean.

She knows your past, your history and remember, she fought to win... So, definately show your love but also, don't think you have to bombard her

I know you analise things and so I wanted to write this to you.

Let her miss you as well, and can't wait to receive your email.

I love the idea of "hand written" notes, that's better than technology..

And, as WC said, "how's your son?"

CW

**thack** · 05-20-2010 10:13 AM

Well I must be on the right track, I saw several suggestions for stuff that I did think of lol, I don't plan to do these all at once, but I have 9 months to spread them out over. I did just get her a massage at a Spa in MGM Grand Las Vegas (since she's there) lol :P

I really like the idea of hand written letters, shows you really took some time out of your day to do more than just type (I can type well over 100 wpm soo email takes me a minute? maybe) I want to do cards, we do txt a lot (through gmail you can send SMS, so we communicate a lot, almost as if we're both still in the US)

I am doing my best not to over do it, I definitely feel a deeper connection with this woman over any other that I have ever been with. Even with OLD high school love popping up late 2008, I still feel that this woman truly understands me, weird'ness and all. So, I do not want to push things away and I do tend to over think things from time to time. Right now I am just in such a large emotional upheaval its almost as strong of emotions as were when my divorce was ongoing, but in a positive note, its so weird how it can be the opposite side of the coin.

In other news, my son is doing great, I've gotten to spend a lot of time with him over the past year plus. I fought for 50/50 and got it, just sadly not while I am abroad ><. . . He knows who I am very well, I have even skyped with him a couple times (trying to setup a skype for saturday if the ex would return email...) He's slipped up and called me "her fiance's' name a couple of times, and that is surely painful to hear, but I just remind him that I am "daddy" and he says it. He's growing so fast, he's intilligent beyond my expectations, getting pushed up a "group" in his daycare because he does stuff that is 6months+ ahead of his peers. Makes me smile. I cant wait to get him again, I will take 2 weeks off in the US after my next trip to Afghan, and spend it all with him!!! (my girlfriend has a son too, and they get along well, so its easy when we have the kids together, almost like a little family)

* I met her when her son was barely 3 months old, she had gotten knocked up by her (now X) boyfriend and about a month later found out he was cheating on her with 3 different women, so she broke it off spent that entire pregnancy alone, as well as the first 3 months of her sons' life by herself. So I know she's a strong woman, capable of being alone and not needing to jump from guy to guy. Plus she's never pushed me onto her son as "this is your new daddy" she rarely ever asks me to do anything for her in regards to him, but I wont ignore the little guy, and I try to help out a bit since I am about a year ahead of her in growth lol (my little guys 2.5 her's is 1.5) so the dating time was almost forced to go slower since we couldn't go out and do stuff every single day, and I am glad for it. Let things develop naturally, with time, instead of infatuation right off the bat (hence X wife...)

thanks for the advice :P I will definitely keep a list of what I can do to keep the romantic energy flowing even with an ocean between us! I know I really want to, its fun, and makes me feel really close to her.

-T

**idon't** · 05-23-2010 08:59 AM

Why don't you two talk on msn or skype with a webcam?i have a distance relationship and the cam makes things much easier for us

p.s:along with what everybody else told u,of course! :-p

**thack** · 05-26-2010 10:21 AM

yup, I finally got her to get on Skype the other night, we had done it once back in feb when I first moved to germany and she was very shy about it. and maybe about once or twice before that last OCT while I was away for work.

Got her to get on skype before SHE deployed this week in her hotel en-route. and man oh we talked for 4 hours before we even thought about playing lol, it was great. just sitting there and talking about everything. Plans, trips, adventures, each other, fantasies eventually led to some really fun stuff lol.

I really enjoyed it quite a bit, and we took advantage and did it again the next morning & evening after she was done with dinner. (not sex play in all skypes but thats fine lol)

she said she really liked it and wished we had been doing it longer. I think at the peak of this post she was extremely stressed out while I was feeling extremely loving, and we just kind of mixed up a bit, because now everything seems to be 100% (minus the distance of course) and knowing she's deployed and does not have internet access or phones yet, sucks lol, I wish her living conditions were a bit better. I will be in Afghan soon and I will have both. So, even apart in different deserts, we should be able to maintain what we have found is really fun.

I am just always looking at new ideas to keep it nice. I have been doing a lot of G-spot research lately, preparing for my return in early 2011 lol, want it to be explosive (if able)