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i'm hot and i'm cold,i'm yes and i'm no,i'm in and i'm out! :-p
Hi everyone!
Me and my boyfriend have been dating like forever,respect and love each other and we get along very well.We know each other's parents from since we're kids etc,and we both know that we'll even get married,propably...Sometimes,though,i can't help but think if he's really the right one.I'm still 20 years old,i've got a life to live and sometimes i feel like i could find someone better.The thing is,i don't think that anyone will love me that much or if i will connect with someone else to that point and i fear that if i break up(for the 2nd time) i'm gonna regret it and he'll never come back!But why do i keep thinking about it?He hasn't quite enough of the qualities i'm looking for in a guy but noone's perfect,me neither,i know that.Also,there are times i want to experience falling in love again,hearts beating and stuff!:-D Our relationship is a distance one and when we're appart i feel uncapable of expressing any sentiments on the phone and when we're together i want to hug him all the time and stuff but sometimes i'm too bored to do that and he gets sad!Why do i keep thinking about these things?Am i ungrateful?? :-o
Any thoughts?? Anyone??
He is probably sad because you are pulling back from him when you are with him. Please give some more details of your relationship, such as about his qualities..
Yes i know.Well he's sweet and caring,he's very funny and smart,good looking and we get along really well.However he isn't interested in sports(not one!),he has some femonine manners,he has lots of whims,he;s very stubborn,he doesn't go to any courses to his university,he doesn't study at all,he fails to ll his exams(if he manages to get out of bed)he cancels his piano lessons all the time because he's always sleeping until 14:00-15:00,he's been telling everyone he'll go to the gym since the beggining of the year and he still hasn't,he doesn't take anything seriously and he's very irresponsible.Also he's very possessive and waaay too sweet all the time(grrrr)and i feel like stiffling at times.
He sounds spoiled and that he uses his sweetness, looks and smarts to manipulate the situation and people around him. Does he have any ambitions at all? I hope he was born rich otherwise life will be a struggle for him unless he can get someone to take care of him.
No,he isn't reach!he's just an average guy.his mother works very hard to pay for all that he needs or wants(advanced piano lessons,holidays..) and he does nothing!he doesn't even help with the house work and his mother does it all!when he comes to see me(i study in a city,7 hours away) he throws his clothes everywhere and never washes the dishes,i keep telling him and he's beeing ironic.He doesn't know exactly what to do in the future,but he wants to be a piano teacher or something related to music.But all i know is that he will never manage to graduate from his university.he can't even wake up in the mornings.all he thinks about is me!it might sound silly of me to be mad about it but i don't like it in that case!he lives in his own bubble,he's very lazy and doesn't care about anything!Plus,he keeps whining about everything,doesn't dare to stand up for me when needed,he doesn't even dare to order an exotic pizza because the pizza guy might think it's weird!lol!i can't really say that all of these cause problems to our relationship now,but in the long term those may be quite an issue.for now,i think that what really bothers me is what i mentioned on my first post but i keep thinking that our kind of love is unique and that i'm maybe too demanding and that i'm looking for something perfect that can not be found anyway!
*rich!
He sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do.
And you sound like you're ready to experience more of what life has to offer.
There are a lot of guys out there. A LOT. You could potentially have bad relationships, and amazing ones, but you'll never know unless you get out there.
My feeling is that if you really felt like there could be no one else out there for you, then you wouldn't want to look. But you DO want to look, and that indicates that you're just not satisfied with this relationship.
Why settle? I say, go and live your life. Better than just sitting around imagining the what-ifs, right?
Really the best thing for guys like that is to get dumped permanently. They learn a very important lesson. After similar experiences when we started dating my sister and I once agreed we would never go out with a guy that had never been dumped before because they realize they do have to listen and help if they want a relationship. For someone that spoiled and unmotivated losing what he wants would be a very good lesson. It doesn't sound to me like you'd ever have problems getting him back. He sounds too clingy and reliant to leave no matter how many times you break up with him. Breaking up with him and getting back with him though has probably only taught him that it doesn't mean anything and he'll still get you without changing. I think it's time to draw the line and tell him to grow up or go away.
Yeah,u're both right but everytime i get to talk to him about all this stuff he sais "i'm worthlessi must do something!ok i will!" and he seems determined and motivated!but he still doesn't do anything...If i broke up with him now for these reasons he'll take it like a betrayal. But anyway,as i said before it's not really of an issue now as it might be in two or three years. My problem NOW is unknown!I don't know why i get these mood swings when i see him or think about him.one time i'm in love and the other i don't care or ,worse ,i don't want him.. :-o
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