Thread: Confused

I have been with my boyfriend for about 5 months now, we live together.. he asked me to move in very early in our relationship which I did as I was head over heels… things went good for about a month. Then he somehow got into one of my social networking sites and read all of my private messages dating back about 4 years – he didn’t like what he read as there was messages from exes & friends that he didn’t “approve” of…. He said he’d forget about what was read and move on, but he continued to mention it, he’d go into silent strops and every morning be in a bad mood because he’d had a dream about me with someone. This still goes on now. He sometimes tells me im disgusting, my friends are common and im scum.

More recently a relative died, I was devastated but he still went on about my past throughout this time, on the night before the funeral he woke me up accusing me of being a member of seedy websites, he’d come to this conclusion by hacking into my emails and looking at my junk mail, it took me all night to calm him down and explain I wasn’t a member.

He then demanded I loose contact with any exes even if they’re friends and deleted phone numbers off my phone when I was asleep – numbers of people I hadn’t even been with. He continued to break into my private emails etc until I confronted him… he then said he wanted to passwords to every account I have to prove I trust him. He then asked me to delete one particular account and when I tried to I couldn’t delete it, I later found out he’d told me he deleted it but had in fact changed the password & kept it open to watch the emails coming in so he knew when certain men were trying to contact me. He didn’t think this was unreasonable.

This is a weekly occurrence and I can’t go into all the different incidents but im sure you get the picture. I fully admit I have had a colorful past I have slept with a lot of people and done some bad things… but I think I have grown up now and don’t feel I should be punished. He says ive lived a dishonest, whorish, immoral life and it makes him sick.

He’s taken to writing an email to my family with all the things I have done and threatening to send it when we argue, he said if I slept with him he wouldn’t sent it.

I want to fly back to my home country to visit my family soon but he’s angry because he said we’re in a relationship & I shouldn’t go alone. We should do everything together – is this normal??

I don’t know what to do because when we get on we get on sooooooo well and I love that part of our relationship but I think he’s being unreasonable with the trust issues? Should I try and work through it?