Is this a normal guy thing??

**kygirl** · 06-02-2010 10:00 AM

So first off the boy and I went to DC and had an amazing weekend. We got along well for being together for 4 1/2 days with no break. We had a lot of fun, and I was very glad we went... But here's the question..

We got back last night... He called his mom to chat because he hadn't talked to her since Friday. He didn't ONCE mention that we had went to DC, that he had fun in DC, nothing... He did mention that he'd gotten some sun this weekend but that's it?

I know his friends know we're dating, and I know way back when we started dating he mentioned me to his mom, but now I feel almost like I don't exist to her? Like I never hear him mention anything even though we see each other several times a week and my family knows about him and asks how things are...

I might be reading too much into it but I feel like he's withholding info and it makes me feel horrible... Should I say something??

**sourpuss** · 06-02-2010 10:06 AM

Hmm, no not necessarily normal. My boyfriend does the same thing but I think it's because he has a kid and his parents know the mother. The only reason they know I exist is because his ex told them about me! It's not a good feeling. Your boyfriend should be screaming from the rooftop how lucky he is to have you, IMO.

Why didn't he tell her about going to DC? Do they support him? Would they be mad that he spent money on a big trip? Is he normally a private guy? I know I am and I didn't tell anyone I had a new boyfriend unless someone asked. It's been almost a year we've been together and my facebook still says single and I never refer to him as my bf. Only my close friends and family know about my personal life. If he's just a private person, then it's pretty normal. But if he's not then, it's not normal. I can see why you'd be hurt. Have you talked about meeting one another's parents at some point?

**pretzel** · 06-02-2010 10:17 AM

I don't know. I never really told my parents too much of what I did. Just didn't feel like getting interogated for every little detail.

My kids are same way.

But that's not to say that I wasn't wrong.

**LanaBear** · 06-02-2010 10:20 AM

I don't know if its normal, but I just don't think guys are into talking about what they are planning on doing or what they did with others specifically parents.

It's more like.... Hi, how are you? Great, thanks, you? Good, anything going on? Not really, busy, living life... Blah blah blah. However, if it was us, we would go down into the detail.

This still happens with my hubby and I, 15 years later. We just spent the weekend with his parents and it is funny listening to us all talk. Me and my MIL talk talk talk. The guys look at each other, grab the guns, hop on the four wheelers and we'll see them in a few hours. Ask how as it? Good. See anything? Oh, some antelope and some squeekies. Cool, how big were the antelope? Eh, good size... lol - guys just don't divulge info like we do.

Anyways, I think you are just reading too much into it.

**kygirl** · 06-02-2010 11:15 AM

Sourpuss, I think it might still have to do with the divorce thing. The process is starting to wrap up but I think some of it may have to do with him just kind of keeping the thoughts of a new thing quiet... I don't think he minds that I mention to my family. Honestly when I asked what his mom thought about him going to DC just in conversation, he was like, I think I told her. He knows I have talked to my family about him. Granted not in major detail. More like, they ask how things are, how he is, and that's that. It's just odd to me that it never comes up at all...

I told him a week or two ago that my grandma had asked when she was gonna get to meet him and he was like, we can go down and meet them sometime, but he never has even in passing mentioned me meeting his mom. I don't know. I get that it's complicated, I just don't like it....

**kygirl** · 06-02-2010 11:18 AM

Thanks LB... I probably am reading way more into it than he's thought...It's not like i don't think he wants to be with me. He's been very assuring about maybe having to go to India and how it's just a month or two and how it'll go by quick and I'll have lots to keep me busy, etc. And he always does a lot of talking about we should do this or when are we going to _______.

I just don't think he realizes how much it bothers me, but then I don't want to make a mountain out of something if he's just being a guy.

**kygirl** · 06-02-2010 11:24 AM

Pretzel,

It's not the details so much as I just find it odd that 1/2 the time I am out with him or at his house when he's talking to her and especially about this weekend. He talked about getting sun but he never once said "while we were in DC" or while I was in DC or anything eluding to DC. We were there for like 3 days. I didn't expect him to give her a play by play but maybe a Nicole and I went to DC this weekend. Or even sometimes to be like, we went and did X. It just makes me feel like with his family at least that he doesn't mention it... BUT he talks to his friends, so maybe it's just a family thing...idk...

**pretzel** · 06-02-2010 11:43 AM

Originally Posted by kygirl

Pretzel,

It's not the details so much as I just find it odd that 1/2 the time I am out with him or at his house when he's talking to her and especially about this weekend. He talked about getting sun but he never once said "while we were in DC" or while I was in DC or anything eluding to DC. We were there for like 3 days. I didn't expect him to give her a play by play but maybe a Nicole and I went to DC this weekend. Or even sometimes to be like, we went and did X. It just makes me feel like with his family at least that he doesn't mention it... BUT he talks to his friends, so maybe it's just a family thing...idk...

I'm not discounting your concerns by any means. Trust me, I've been accused more times than I care to of the exact same thing as you feel with him. Believe me I know that it's something that bothers you but it also bothered my ex and my current wife feel the same as you. And I mean it when I say it that it has nothing and I mean absolutely nothing to do with you or how he feels about you. I agree that he should have mentioned that the 2 of you went to DC for the weekend and had a great time. The "got some sun over the weekend" was terribly evasive on his part. I think I would be upset at him over that.

I think you may have to resign yourself that he's not going to provide his family with a lot of details about how the two of you are progressing relationship wise, at least for the time being. But remember, this is not about you but about him. It has absolutely no bearing on his feelings toward you. He would be this way no matter who he was with. It just sounds like this is part of his make up and not much more.

**kygirl** · 06-02-2010 12:10 PM

Thanks P! I know guys aren't generally as "detail oriented" as most females and they don't feel the need to provide every minute detail. The not even mentioning DC thing still bothers me a bit, but really I guess all I told my family was it was fun and we had a good time, so I can't fault him too much.

It's not like something that bothers me enough at this point to be extremely angry, but I did wanted to get other's takes. Maybe if it's been a year and he's not remembering to tell her, then we may need to have a discussion...

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-02-2010 03:56 PM

If he talks to his "friends" about it, you and he has met your family or would meet your family, then it could be a non-closeness to his family, especially if there is a Divorce going on, that means that their marriage didn't work, so why would he discuss a new close relationship with them.

I wouldn't