Thread: I did a bad thing....

You've all been helpful - thankyou - I spoke to my housemate as he knows my bf well and he is of the opinion that he is just a nice friendly guy - he has made mistakes in the past but he STILL isnt learinging from them BUT he didnt delete the texts and leaves his phone here there and eveywhere so if I wanted to check it I could and that isnt the actions of man who cheats. He also said he is too dumb to cheat, how rude! My gut feeling is that he would never act on anything - I do think it's his nature to be a very friendly person almost flirty but he is honest, he never hid anything from me when it happened previously, he told me right away. I dunno if I do actually over analyse - I did pull him about the eggs basket comment and he said "you've go all my eggs - stop being silly." I need to sort out my jelousy issues and get a grip me thinks! Before I drive him away with my jelousy and paranoia - he is with me and we have a great time together and no stupid childish texts are going to spoil what we have because it's so good at the moment. Ok he sent her 8 silly texts but he spent Friday to Tuesday with me - i need to try and keep things in perspective...well try anyway!! No more checking phones!

I think he's probably just a natural flirt and he most likely flirts with her because he knows it's safe and nothing will happen. He enjoys the attention.
The good news is that she asked how you were and he invited her to come see the house. Which to me is not behavior to be jealous of from either one of them.

Guys need the flirty ego-boost. Think about how often we women compliment one another. We stroke our egos constantly. 'Wow, you're hair looks great today. I love those shoes. You look so nice.' etc etc. Guys don't do that, but they still want to feel attractive. Getting attention by flirting is how they get that reassurance I think.

I suppose men need there ego's boosted as well but I am ALWAYS telling him he looks sexy, handsome, has a great etc. - shouldnt that be enough?? Why text a girl that is an old old friend, who you know fancies you and why send flirty texts and almost demand she reply to him?? I am tryng to let this go but it keeps popping up - he text her first, he asked if she was missing him? Then when she didnt reply he was like "Why you ignoring me you loser - I dont bite." But then I KNOW he doesnt fancy her 100% not one single doubt about that. It just does not make sense and I think I need to bring it up with him in a way that doesnt make me look like a bunny boiling lunatic stalker who checks his phone - I refuse to say I checked his phone so any suggestions?

He knows that you think he's sexy, you're his girlfriend. There's something about getting attention from someone else that makes people feel really good, myself included. I honestly think that he just likes the attention. I could be wrong, but that's what it seems like to me.

Flirting is fun - it is a form of flattery that makes both parties feel better. As long as it doesn't go beyond words, I don't see any harm in it. Men and women both can feel insecure - look at how many women are worried about their appearance despite having a boyfriend who constantly tells them how beautiful they are. Men can be the same way - despite having a girlfriend who says they are sexy, they like to hear it from someone else as well.

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

Flirting is fun - it is a form of flattery that makes both parties feel better. As long as it doesn't go beyond words, I don't see any harm in it. Men and women both can feel insecure - look at how many women are worried about their appearance despite having a boyfriend who constantly tells them how beautiful they are. Men can be the same way - despite having a girlfriend who says they are sexy, they like to hear it from someone else as well.

I agree... as long as it doesn't cross any lines as far as becoming more or referencing it becoming more, I think it's harmless. I flirt, I'm sure my SO flirts or enjoys it when someone "hits on" him. It is good to know sometimes that you're attractive to someone besides your SO/BF/GF/Spouse. Sometimes we feel like they "have" to like us, but when someone else does it's a reminder that you're a good catch

I also wanted to add that I have several guy friends. I am a bit flirty with them and they with me at times, but when you've know someone for SOOOOO long, it's just that...flirting. I wouldn't do anything that I would be ashamed of my SO finding out about.