Is this safe to do or is this creepy?

**secret0524** · 06-20-2010 01:57 AM

I've met a friend online who is 7 years older than me through FB when he added me first
He is a friend of someone I know in my school, the person I know is a boyfriend of my good friend.
Apparently, when I talked to my friend's boyfriend, the guy who added me on FB has taken some interest in me. But he's like in his mid 20s. Also, he asked if I can hang out with him and asked where I wanted to go. Should I accept his request and go or would I be risking my life? Also, I know he should be safe because he goes to my friend's boyfriend's church but the thing is he might assume it's a date if there's no one else around. It has happened before and that's how I dated my ex, which I really regretted. What should I do?????

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-20-2010 02:22 AM

Well, I think you personally have a fear of dating someone older than you and you don't know him at all, so a second fear there.

So, if your not comfortable with his age, don't agree. If the age doesn't bother you then "hanging out" can still be a date, at least he has asked you where you want to go.

If you also think he is okay, and want to see, then go to a place where there are alot of people, but not too noisy that you can't talk. Take yourself there and back home again, or have someone pick you up at a certain time...

It sounds like you don't want to "date him"... So in that instance, I would just say, that's cool, I'm sure I'll meet you when "insert friend's boyfriend's name" and the others get together somewhere... thanks though.

CW

**Mes T** · 06-20-2010 02:44 AM

So he's like 25 and you're about 17? In my opinion that's a little creepy on his part, an adult who takes an interest beyond friendship (if that's what this is) in a teenager...

You could always just ignore his request, or would that be weird for you, on account that you know someone he knows, etc?

**rcoreyus** · 06-20-2010 05:45 AM

What are the ages. 20 and 27, not so scary. 14 and 21 = big problem.

You know him through various contacts so you aren't risking your life. You could be risking a uncomfortable situation if you and he have different expectations.

Often on a first "date" its a good idea to do something really simple and public - meet for lunch somewhere.

**Joey** · 06-20-2010 05:49 AM

Ive always had the opinion of age is just a number - but it depends on the too numbers.
Like sad above - its dubious on a 25/26 year old being interested in a teenager.
Also, like said above, you can be sure that your not going to be risking your life, as he is known through several of your contacts. its not as if you have just accepted a friend request from a complete and utter stranger.
You dont seem too thrilled or happy with this how 'date' scenerio - let alone meeting up with him.
I think you have already made your mind up.

**WildChild** · 06-20-2010 07:52 AM

If you are uncomfortable with this, listen to that little voice inside you and don't go.
Why not suggest meeting with a group of friends?

**LanaBear** · 06-20-2010 10:12 AM

Originally Posted by WildChild

If you are uncomfortable with this, listen to that little voice inside you and don't go.
Why not suggest meeting with a group of friends?

I completely agree WC. Those little voices inside us can sometimes be our saving grace. If you do want to get to know him, meet with a group of people.

**Hopeless Dork** · 06-20-2010 11:13 AM

My advice is steer clear. He has a predatory behavior.... a grown man in his mid 20's asking a young girl he doesn't even know to be his friend on a social networking site ... then asking her to meet him in person right away is into you for the wrong reasons.

He didn't know you so his intention to add you was based soley on your looks and/or age. If he added you like that... chances are you are one in a dozen (or hundreds) of young pretty girls he goes around adding then asking out. A typical behavior of social networking sites... but it sounds like from what you said you are not yet an adult -- which makes this guys actions even more predatory.

He can't say your special or different or mature for your age -- he knows none of that if he's just randomly adding you through a friend of a friend. He might not be a psycho... but he might be someone looking to use you, someone that is looking to hook up with lots of girls and either way you could end up hurt... even just emotionally.

I'd advise against meeting him. I bet if you told him he'd have to come meet your folks before you went on a date with him... you'd never hear from him again. Not to scare you, most people are not bad... but next time you are walmart... look at the missing persons posters and see just how many of those young girls missing were believed to have met someone off the internet before their dissapearance. I was shocked the last time I stopped and read those posters.

Just be safe and stick to guys you already know on social networking sites ... and be leery of much older guys with an interest in you if you are not yet 18... they usually have a couple screws loose.

**tramig** · 06-20-2010 07:04 PM

I agree completely with hopeless dork steer well clear of this guy.

**SaharaJim** · 06-21-2010 10:45 AM

IMHO this has some "red flags" you should not ignor. The fact that he claims to go to a church does not mean that he is "safe". You need only look at recent scandels to realize that predators go where the game is plentiful. His desire to meet you at an unstructured situation like "hanging out" could allow for you to disappear for several hours to a day with noone knowing. He adds you to his facebook friends without your permission and says he as "taken an interest" in you. What is his interest? Mutual hobbies? Political views? or just "you"? I say trust your feelings- this is creepy IMHO. If you decide to "meet" him do so in a VERY public place with at least TWO reliable "wingmen" who will not leave you alone with him.