Thread: What to do and think?

I have a question for the women here.

I have been talking to a woman for three weeks now every day. We have an amazing connection emotionally, and we have lots of things in common. We have a great time talking and visiting in conversation. She talks about how I would be a great father (she's a single mother), how she has never told anyone things that she tells me, and how good I am for her. She calls me "dear" and "darling" in her emails to me. We have talked about what our dream house would be like, and she talks about future plans with me, such as wanting for me to teach her how to drive a standard shift car, and wanting to learn about wines with me, and possible vacations together. She routinely tells me how she thinks I am incredible.

We met for the first time in person a bit more than a week ago. We had a good date. I held her hand for a short time and had my arm around her for a short time, and that is all the physical contact we have shared, which is fine with me. I asked her at the end of the date what there is between us, and she told me that there is no chemistry, and that we could only be friends.

I found out from her since then that the reasons for this were related to fears about what might happen years down the road, and I told her that I think we should continue to spend time together without defining what is between us. We didn't talk for four days. At the end of those four days, when we started to talk again, she said that she had missed me horribly and that she is still attracted to me. She said that she was not able to focus on anything while we were not speaking. She said that she is simply afraid and is not ready for a relationship. On a logical level, this makes sense to me. She was divorced in March.

So we have been talking every night for 2-3 hours both before and after that four days. I have been very clear that I intend to pursue a relationship with her, and she continues to treat me in the manner I have described above. She says she wants to visit with me in person again. I am job searching, and she told me not to stay in this area because of her, but to move for the right job, and we would be "at least what we are now." The thing is, I want for us to be more than we are now.

She says that she does not know what will happen between us, but then there is all the talk about the future and the dream house and all the flattery and all the stuff she has never told anyone about before and all the ways she says I am good for her. It has only been a little over a week since I told her I would be patient, and I absolutely can continue being so. I just don't want to be a fool. I don't want to wait and be patient and invest for a year or so just to find out that she has started dating someone else to whom she was more attracted or that she was ready to date someone else, not me.

There is more to the story, lots of conversations and such, but that is the gist of it. Am I being led on? Does she just not want to break the news to me? Is she letting me wait because my friendship is valuable to her? Is there a possibility that she does simply need more time and that she may in time return my feelings? Should I continue to wait?

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.