i love him so much but does he love me back?
Ok, so i am 18 and he is 19 we met each other on an online site and we have chatted threw a webcam and we text and call each other a lot. he seems like a great guy and he hates when i am sad or anything like i can see it threw his face. he has talked about our future numerous times and hes told me every detail of his past and present life and ive told him mines as well.
we only live a few hours from each other and he plans to drive here to meet me once he pays his speeding ticket and gets his next paycheck because he wants to take me to dinner and stuff. he also works overnight sometimes which is an issue contributing to driving here. we always talk about having kids and hes talked about getting married and stuff. we have been talking for about a month or so and now he decides to act cold to me and tell me he thinks we are moving too fast and he is scared about having kids and likes to live day by day.
it felt like his attitude toward me changed in an instance. he knows he could tell me anything so idk if he was holding it in or it just hit him. i was so hurt and i questioned if everything he said about loving me was true he said of coarse he he still acts weird talking to me like he is a whole different person..
idk what to do im in love with him! it sounds odd since we havent met but its true so if anyone can help me id surely appreciate it! thank you girls! and if you need my advice on anything id be glad to help as well. sorry for making it so long!
Last edited by LanaBear; 07-14-2010 at 11:12 AM. Reason: paragraphing
One month in person isn't long enough to know them well enough to plan a future. One month online even less so. I know it hurts and feels very real but the truth is, you don't really know who he is or what.
Get out with your friends, do things, go places, meet some guys face to face - it will be much better for you.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
You are young... Don't go putting all your cookies in one basket for a guy you have yet to actually be able to meet face to face.
That may have dawned on him as well. He may still have feelings for you, but you have yet to be able to see each other. That's hard for anybody.
Like WC said, go out and still do your own thing.
Friendship Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Amen
Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
i understand what you guys are saying but ive had so many bad experiences with guys i meet face to face and i really trust him and i feel like he is for me. i know i may sound like a girl who "thinks" shes in love and is clueless but i really do feel it in my heart. Do you have an suggestions to try to talk to him about it? and what i could possibly say to him? thanks guys im so happy to see i got replys to quickly!
I would hold off on the notion of 'love' and expecting it back while you guys haven't even been in the same room yet... I would say that you guys are probably highly infactuated with each other but love is something that takes time to develop... the kind of love that is true, lasts and means something anyway.
I am not discounting your feelings... I am sure they are very strong. I've known many people develop loving relationships with people they never even met in rl and only spent time with online. But even those take time to develop.
The key thing you have to remember is its very easy for someone online to be the person of your dreams, you have to stay grounded in knowing what you think they are like may not be the real story.
People tend to present themselves with best foot forward on the internet. Its natural. You don't like hunting? No biggie... he hates it too (runs and tosses t-shirt over the big moose head in the living room before turning cam back on). People in online relationships... they only turn the computer on when they are ready to talk, ready to perform, ready to be 'perfect'... and in real life... people just are what they are.
Sure people can pose and pretend to be something they are not, but its much easier when that 4th wall is broken down and you can see, touch, smell them... are in their space... its easier to tell how a person truly feels about things.
So I'm not discouraging your situation... I'm just saying enjoy your infactuation, but keep your feet within gound touching distance until you guys have spent a lot of time together in person. Where you can get to know all those quirks, all those little realities that generally aren't as disclosed when talking online.
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
wow.. thankyou so much that made a quite bit of sense about turning on the cam when he is ready. i really understand that and it says alot. thanks so much. but do you thinnk i should still continue especiallt if you read about how he started acting? or should i just forget him?
Move on and forget him. If he is worth having, he'll come to you later otherwise you aren't sitting and waiting.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
yeah i just dumped him and i feel like ripping my heart out
Have you considered what you might appear like to him? Remember he doesn't "know" you except through the internet. You have been communicating with him for less than a month and you are talking marriage and children? Your other postings include asking men on this site for their "sexual fantasies". Does this become part of your internet conversation? STOP. TAKE THREE STEPS BACK. Is the "person" he is "seeing" on the internet YOU? I am willing to bet that he has a rather distorted image of you and like the "great white hunter" wasn't really ready to stand face-to-face with the reality of the "LION". Cut yourself and him some slack and just ease up a bit. Nothing wrong with meeting someone on the internet. I met my wife through an internet dateing site. But we meet each other and e-mailed for five months before meeting in person. And we did marry almost a year and a half later. During that time we both flew to meet our respective families. I flew to florida and she flew to NM. My point is it is easy to get in over your head on the internet. He may be everything you think he is....or maybe just an ordinary human being that you could love....but it is way way too soon to be talking marriage and children etc. Talk with him but just slow things up. He won't feel like he has let his alligator mouth overload his hummingbird butt.
hey everyone who replyed to this i just wanted to update you guys that hes out of my life. haha and ive found a new guy that i have a huge crush on right now. we are just friends but we hang out a lot and i just like him alot as a person im so happy i met him! but thankyou to everyone who tried to help me. the real deal is always the right onebye guys!
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