First teenage heartbreak has hit me hard..

**LadyElise** · 08-14-2010 01:40 PM

I'm 16 and my 19 year old ex broke up with me 2 months ago, his reason being he fell out of love with me. He was my first serious relationship, first love, everything. We had a great relationship and we were very close but during the last couple of weeks he became distant. He looked bored of me basically and i think the spark went. I tried doing new things and trying to be happy and it was like he wasn't even there- i ended up even feeling uncomfortable talking to him.

He continued to text me after the break up, replying by saying he missed me and calling me pet names he used to. I rang him out of being so desperate a couple of days later asking for a second chance. He agreed, he came to mine straight away and told me he loved me and wanted to marry me one day- although he was very quiet. He tried it on and said "it was his apology".. i told him to stop because i didn't feel comfortable after what had happened.

The next day he text me saying "he didn't know how things were going to work out but he wanted to try". I was relieved to say the least. He saw me a couple of days later, he was distant again and very difficult to talk to. I awkwardly listened to him talk about movies like nothing had happened.When i came down to talking about the relationship he said he gave me the same break up speech. I should have cut him out of my life straight away but i was in a state and text him a week later saying i'd take him up on the offer of being friends- he replied and said he'd talk to me next time he got online. Since then he hasn't contacted me- i know he's been online because i've seen comments of him flirting with another girl. (Accidently, but it was like a kick in the guts)

I should be angry at how he's treated me but instead i just feel hurt - the more i think about it, the more i think he's been like this the whole time and i just didn't want to see it. I gave my virginity to him and i thought i deserved a good ending at least instead of him just avoiding me like i was a fling. I let him off a lot because i put it down to his depression and medication but it seems like it backfired and i've just been messed around. Is it possible that he's just been using me for sex?

I've tried really hard to move on, i've thrown away all his stuff, started jogging everyday, got a new haircut and wardrobe, blocked all contact.. just started looking after myself again but i still feel awful. I don't want him back but i feel all the time like i was boring and my lack of conversation sometimes contributed the the break up. Little things also have an effect on me like seeing celebs he fancies and feeling bad in comparison, or thinking i could have been clingy or had stupid moments that could have put him off. I know i don't want him in my life but it's really impacted my self esteem i think. I've had difficulty getting up in the morning and i find fault with myself a lot more.

I just wanted to get it all off my chest really, i'd appreciate any comments. Thankyou.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-14-2010 04:13 PM

Hey sweet, welcome to the Forum.

I'm really pleased at your coping skills and maturity of the way in which your handling things.

But, he was your first love and so, naturally even seeing a celebrity he liked is going to "for now" be a reminder..

I don't know how long you went out with him but it sounds as though, 1) he may have tempted you until you have in, then lost interest as he achieved, by the fact that he tried to come back and in that tried again for sex straight away, saying it's his way of apologising, but when he didn't get it, stopped contact. It also sounds selfishly that he doesn't want you to move on, preferring that he be the only one.. Be wary of that if he attempts to contact you again.

You know, it's hard because, at 19, a boy is still young not really ready to settle down.. And, at 16, having a first love, all you dream about is future..

We don't really know who is right and who is wrong for us, until we try. And,what's important is your intentions were pure, good. You weren't able to communicate in the end, and so this isn't the person for you, because you want someone who can, always

Always follow that "gut feeling", little intuition... and smile as you grow and learn.. You'll be stronger for it.

You will meet someone even better and more loving... But, don't put all your eggs in one basket, your 16. See what you want out of life and go and get it, mix more with your friends, start hobbies and know that all your intentions were pure and good and that's all that matters..

You didn't lose...

You gained something.. a knowledge to be more wary, wait longer, and make sure that the next person, is someone who won't break your heart. You don't need friends like that.

Feel proud of the way your handling this... Because you should.

CW