Thread: Does a woman need to project confidence/assertiveness to be considered independent?

Originally Posted by Mes_T

Here's what I know from my own experience. My best friend and I spent two years going out and meeting people in Korea, usually together. She was always quite "assertive" and a bit in-your-face and quite loud, when at some social event where we had to mingle with strangers. I on the other hand was always reserved compared to her, spending a lot of my time kind of standing/sitting in one place and waiting for people to come to me.

And every single time we were out, people found me and talked to me but avoided her.

So I think yes confidence is important, but... what IS confidence? I don't think it's synonymous with "assertiveness." Maybe someone can seem subdued yet confident at the same time. And another person can be so assertive that it's a sign they're making up for a LACK of confidence.

Meh.

Of course, you're right but that's in Korea, not the US. In the US, confidence is judged by how assertive and visibly confident you appear to be. That's the problem.