Seeing an older man, and confused. Please Help!!

**Agony_Aunt** · 09-20-2010 10:36 PM

Yes, I understand that.
but the worst thing about it too, is that it almost like living two lives.
My home life and my life with him. Because they are completely seperate.
He doesn't come in to the house because I wouldn't do that on him, I wouldn't have him in there knowing what they think and having him feel uncomfortable and un-wanted.
I've met his sister's and their husbands, and they are great. They don't treat me any differently and accept me as his partner.
My family question what he wants with someone my age, and vice versa.
They have branded it "wrong" and say it will never work, they've known a few months now about us and really have mind made up about it.
It's actually the first time in my life that my parents aren't supporting a choice I've made.

**Mes T** · 09-20-2010 10:44 PM

You know what though I wouldn't worry too much about that yet. If down the road you two plan to have a life together permanently, then by then as someone said before, your family will come around anyway.

Remember though, very rarely does someone stay with the same person they met at 17. Wouldn't it suck if you went through all that pain with your family and you two ended up breaking up anyway. So I say just enjoy it. If you get super serious, then things might begin to work themselves out naturally.

By the way, at some point your parents need to meet this man and spend time with him. Right now he's just a 30+ year old to them, but if they meet him, they can have a chance to see him beyond his age. I think avoiding bringing him home is only prolonging the problem.

**Agony_Aunt** · 09-20-2010 10:54 PM

Yes Mes_T, for now I'm going to enjoy it and just see how it goes!

I'm considering putting it to my family like this:
That it may just be one of many relationship's I might have in my life.
And that I'm not planning on getting married to him next week or blindly throwing my life away.
Explain to them, that right now, I'm happy and I'm enjoying this relationship and everything else in my life at the minute.
And that I'd appreciate their support, and if for anything, to let me make my own mistakes , if any, and still know that they will be there for me.

I hope they can realise that I'm not jumping in to the deep with this. And that the relationship path is not set out in concrete and that I do realise it may or may not last, but just for now to be happy because I'm happy.